array(122) { [0]=> object(Timber\Post)#9253 (100) { ["ImageClass"]=> string(12) "Timber\Image" ["PostClass"]=> string(11) "Timber\Post" ["TermClass"]=> string(11) "Timber\Term" ["object_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["_content":protected]=> NULL ["_permalink":protected]=> NULL ["_next":protected]=> array(0) { } ["_prev":protected]=> array(0) { } ["class"]=> string(78) "post-1567 episode type-episode status-publish hentry series_category-series-10" ["id"]=> int(1567) ["ID"]=> int(1567) ["post_author"]=> string(1) "2" ["post_content"]=> string(0) "" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2017-03-02 21:44:24" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["post_title"]=> string(23) "S10E08 - Mary Christmas" ["post_type"]=> string(7) "episode" ["slug"]=> string(18) "s11-mary-christmas" ["__type":protected]=> NULL ["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488556015:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_20"]=> string(2) "10" ["episode_name"]=> string(19) "08 - Mary Christmas" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(432) "Whilst playing Santa at Susan's works Christmas party Ben becomes emotionally involved when a little girl asks him to reconcile her mother and grand-father, who have fallen out. The Harper's New Years Party also is not faring too well with blunders amiss! Can recent dental patient Rolf Harris save the night with his presence or will the rocket literally go up? At least Susan and Ben see in the New Year presenting a united front." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2459) "Susan’s art gallery is sponsoring a series of kids’ Christmas parties and Susan has been give then task of co-ordinator – when Katie calls and wants things done differently, Susan bans Christmas, much to Ben’s delight! However, she despairs after learning that her Santa has broken his collarbone and cannot do the party, leaving her with no option but to play Santa herself until Ben finally relents and agrees to be her stand-in Santa. At the party, the children are proving just as intolerable as Ben imagined, until he meets Mary – all she wants for Christmas is for her Mum and Grandfather to be reunited and Ben is moved by her total belief that “Santa” could make this happen. Mary’s Christmas wish is really bothering him and much to Susan’s amazement, he resolves to do what he can to help. Unbeknown to each other, Ben and Susan both try to negotiate reconciliation with Mary’s grandfather and mother at the house where they inevitably meet. Despite Ben trying to explain why they should end their quarrel, everyone, including Susan, gets angry with him. But Ben is still haunted by the image of Mary asking him to help her and decides he won’t give up. He confronts Mary’s grandfather and forces him to accompany him to Mary’s house where Ben convinces Frank and Elaine that even if they’re not ready to forgive each other, they should call a truce for Mary’s sake. Susan is so inspired by Ben’s Christmas spirit that she vows never to miss another Christmas, including this one! Ben and Susan record a Christmas message to Nick, both a little worse for wear! Susan becomes desperate to throw a big New Year’s Eve party for all the friends and neighbours that Ben has alienated over the years. Ben isn’t keen, but soon reconsiders when his next door nemesis, Mr Casey, reveals he will be holding his own neighbourhood New Year’s Eve bash and the battle of the parties commences. Ben and Susan pull out all the stops but not even catering from Ainsley Harriott and a firework display can tempt the neighbours from Casey’s so Ben decides to play dirty – all’s fair in love and neighbour wars. By a happy coincidence, Ben’s celebrity patient Rolf Harris needs urgent dental attention and Ben lures him and consequently all the neighbours, over to the house. Success at last! The party is back at the Harpers’ and Craig is standing by with the fireworks. What could possibly go wrong now?" 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The Harper's New Years Party also is not faring too well with blunders amiss! Can recent dental patient Rolf Harris save the night with his presence or will the rocket literally go up? At least Susan and Ben see in the New Year presenting a united front." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2459) "Susan’s art gallery is sponsoring a series of kids’ Christmas parties and Susan has been give then task of co-ordinator – when Katie calls and wants things done differently, Susan bans Christmas, much to Ben’s delight! However, she despairs after learning that her Santa has broken his collarbone and cannot do the party, leaving her with no option but to play Santa herself until Ben finally relents and agrees to be her stand-in Santa. At the party, the children are proving just as intolerable as Ben imagined, until he meets Mary – all she wants for Christmas is for her Mum and Grandfather to be reunited and Ben is moved by her total belief that “Santa” could make this happen. Mary’s Christmas wish is really bothering him and much to Susan’s amazement, he resolves to do what he can to help. Unbeknown to each other, Ben and Susan both try to negotiate reconciliation with Mary’s grandfather and mother at the house where they inevitably meet. Despite Ben trying to explain why they should end their quarrel, everyone, including Susan, gets angry with him. But Ben is still haunted by the image of Mary asking him to help her and decides he won’t give up. He confronts Mary’s grandfather and forces him to accompany him to Mary’s house where Ben convinces Frank and Elaine that even if they’re not ready to forgive each other, they should call a truce for Mary’s sake. Susan is so inspired by Ben’s Christmas spirit that she vows never to miss another Christmas, including this one! Ben and Susan record a Christmas message to Nick, both a little worse for wear! Susan becomes desperate to throw a big New Year’s Eve party for all the friends and neighbours that Ben has alienated over the years. Ben isn’t keen, but soon reconsiders when his next door nemesis, Mr Casey, reveals he will be holding his own neighbourhood New Year’s Eve bash and the battle of the parties commences. Ben and Susan pull out all the stops but not even catering from Ainsley Harriott and a firework display can tempt the neighbours from Casey’s so Ben decides to play dirty – all’s fair in love and neighbour wars. By a happy coincidence, Ben’s celebrity patient Rolf Harris needs urgent dental attention and Ben lures him and consequently all the neighbours, over to the house. Success at last! The party is back at the Harpers’ and Craig is standing by with the fireworks. What could possibly go wrong now?" 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Ben isn’t keen, but soon reconsiders when his nex door nemesis, Mr Casey, reveals he will be holding his own neighbourhood New Year’s Eve bash and the battle of the parties commences. Ben and Susan pull out all the stops but not even catering from Ainsley Harriott and a firework display can tempt the neighbours from Casey’s so Ben decides to play dirty – all’s fair in love and neighbour wars. By a happy coincidence, Ben’s celebrity patient Rolf Harris needs urgent dental attention and Ben lures him and consequently all the neighbours, over to the house. Success at last! The party is back at the Harpers’ and Craig is standing by with the fireworks. What could possibly go wrong now?" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1701) "Janey is off to her cousin Kirsty’s hen night. Kenzo is reluctantly entrusted to his Grandad’s care, but Janey asks Michael to call in later to keep an eye on things. She warns Susan that a night out with her and Sasha can get pretty wild but Susan will not be dissuaded. Roger is also excited as he has a blind date with someone he met on the internet. Ben and Kenzo settle down to watch a film – Kenzo wants to watch a cartoon but Ben has other ideas. To exact his revenge, Kenzo locks Ben out of the house and try as he might, Ben cannot outsmart his grandson. Things on the hen night take an unexpected turn when Sasha arrives, revealing she is heavily pregnant and Kirsty turns up devastated, having just been dumped by the bridegroom. Susan is harangued into calling him – she persuades him to come down to the bar and tries to make him reconsider but his arrogance leaves her certain that Kirsty has had a lucky escape. It seems that Roger has been stood up by his blind date, but perhaps fate is trying to tell him something as he and the waitress, Ellie, have an awful lot in common. Just as Roger is about to ask her out, his blind date, Vera, finally arrives. A little later on and a little worse for wear, Kirsty has almost cheered up, remembering how many bad traits Neil had but they are soon forgotten again when he decides he does want to marry her after all. Cheers! Roger’s date with Vera is a disaster but ends happily when Ellie gives him her number. Janey returns home, without Susan who has evidently celebrated a little too vigorously, and is surprised to find Kenzo watching TV by himself. Poor Ben has been locked in his bedroom - an eventful night out all round!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1701) "Janey is off to her cousin Kirsty’s hen night. Kenzo is reluctantly entrusted to his Grandad’s care, but Janey asks Michael to call in later to keep an eye on things. She warns Susan that a night out with her and Sasha can get pretty wild but Susan will not be dissuaded. Roger is also excited as he has a blind date with someone he met on the internet. Ben and Kenzo settle down to watch a film – Kenzo wants to watch a cartoon but Ben has other ideas. To exact his revenge, Kenzo locks Ben out of the house and try as he might, Ben cannot outsmart his grandson. Things on the hen night take an unexpected turn when Sasha arrives, revealing she is heavily pregnant and Kirsty turns up devastated, having just been dumped by the bridegroom. Susan is harangued into calling him – she persuades him to come down to the bar and tries to make him reconsider but his arrogance leaves her certain that Kirsty has had a lucky escape. It seems that Roger has been stood up by his blind date, but perhaps fate is trying to tell him something as he and the waitress, Ellie, have an awful lot in common. Just as Roger is about to ask her out, his blind date, Vera, finally arrives. A little later on and a little worse for wear, Kirsty has almost cheered up, remembering how many bad traits Neil had but they are soon forgotten again when he decides he does want to marry her after all. Cheers! Roger’s date with Vera is a disaster but ends happily when Ellie gives him her number. Janey returns home, without Susan who has evidently celebrated a little too vigorously, and is surprised to find Kenzo watching TV by himself. Poor Ben has been locked in his bedroom - an eventful night out all round!" 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Unfortunately, Ben is on hand to administer the ‘Cavitox’." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1403) "Susan wants to look her best for an impending school reunion. Ben is learning how to administer Cavitox and suggests Susan could try it. Susan dismisses the idea; she is fabulous as she is! Ben’s also tries to help Kenzo by suggesting he let a little girl in his class know he likes her by giving her a present – but who would know that Kenzo has such a big heart! An old schoolfriend, Mary, arrives to ask Susan to give the keynote speech at their forthcoming school reunion but lets it slip that Susan was not their first choice. Susan is further undermined when a younger replacement is hired at the Art Gallery where she works and, furious at what she sees as blatant ageism, quits. Susan is determined to bounce back and lines up job interviews, but once again loses her temper when told she is over-qualified. She is tipped over the edge by the weight-reading on her bathroom scales and sinks into a depression from which neither Janey nor Ben are able to lift. In the end, Ben is driven to asking the Vicar to talk to Susan and he duly tells her to focus on something that will bring a smile to her face… but did he really mean her to undergo a session of Cavitoxing from her newly-qualified husband? Duly lifted from her depression, Susan’s speech is well-applauded at her school reunion – finally she is amongst friends…. all of whom have had similar youth-prolonging treatment!" 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Unfortunately, Ben is on hand to administer the ‘Cavitox’." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1403) "Susan wants to look her best for an impending school reunion. Ben is learning how to administer Cavitox and suggests Susan could try it. Susan dismisses the idea; she is fabulous as she is! Ben’s also tries to help Kenzo by suggesting he let a little girl in his class know he likes her by giving her a present – but who would know that Kenzo has such a big heart! An old schoolfriend, Mary, arrives to ask Susan to give the keynote speech at their forthcoming school reunion but lets it slip that Susan was not their first choice. Susan is further undermined when a younger replacement is hired at the Art Gallery where she works and, furious at what she sees as blatant ageism, quits. Susan is determined to bounce back and lines up job interviews, but once again loses her temper when told she is over-qualified. She is tipped over the edge by the weight-reading on her bathroom scales and sinks into a depression from which neither Janey nor Ben are able to lift. In the end, Ben is driven to asking the Vicar to talk to Susan and he duly tells her to focus on something that will bring a smile to her face… but did he really mean her to undergo a session of Cavitoxing from her newly-qualified husband? Duly lifted from her depression, Susan’s speech is well-applauded at her school reunion – finally she is amongst friends…. all of whom have had similar youth-prolonging treatment!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1670) "Susan is disappointed with Ben’s choice of venue (the local pub) for a “romantic” night out, but when he is recognised as being the son of a talented darts player & invited to join the “Menaces”, she relishes the prospect of his absence for three nights a week. This combined with an unfortunate comment from Michael concerning her level of fitness inspires Susan to hire a personal trainer. Ben doesn’t mind – he is too pre-occupied with his darts. Personal trainer Andre is certainly having an effect on Susan which in turn is having an effect on her bank balance as he can be very persuasive and his products are so reasonably priced. Meanwhile, the Menaces all agree that Ben is the weak link and throw him out of the team. Ben is devastated, until Roger persuades him to join his team, “Roger’s Jollies” – anything to restore his pride and get one up on the Menaces! The Menaces and the Jollies enter into a wager over who will win the darts tournament, but after the Jollies lose, Ben quits and swears off darts for good. However, Michael’s lack of direction in life inspires Ben to set a good example and he resolves to mould the Jolies into champions and make his family proud. Whilst practising at the pub, Ben spots Andre and discovers that he’s not actually French and that his “Nepalese foot cream” is actually vanilla yoghurt. When he tells Susan, she gathers some of Andre’s other clients together to exact their revenge upon him. Under Ben’s guidance and against all odds, the team improves but can they defeat the Menaces in the final and will Ben’s children ever know what it is to feel proud of their father?" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1310) "Ben has uncharacteristically volunteered to help on a dental outreach programme in Columbia. Roger offers to be a “substitute Ben” in his absence. Janey wants Susan to join Facebook – she needs one more friend to get to 1000 but Susan is not interested. Janey goes ahead and signs her up anyway and while Susan is initially furious, she soon changes her tune when she gets a message from an old flame. Paul was the only man ever to dump her and now he wants to meet up. Janey and Michael are hugely excited at the prospect of getting a better father and encourage her to go. Sharing a bottle of wine, Paul flatters Susan & says he can’t remember why he broke up with her. She offers to deliver a package locally for him but on doing so is arrested! It turns out that Paul is a wanted drug dealer and Susan has ruined 2 months of police work – they need her help to get information or they will charge her. She agrees to do anything she can to help them – that will teach Paul for dumping her! Hidden cameras are installed and Susan is fitted with a wire in order to get the confession – things seem to be going well but every time Paul is on the verge of confessing, something gets in the way. Will Susan get the confession and more importantly, will she ever find out why Paul dumped her?" 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Ben misbehaves throughout every activity and the weekend culminates with the pair of them being thrown out after Ben makes Susan laugh during a meditation session. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1085) "Susan insists that she and Ben go away for the weekend to a couples’ retreat. Janey and Michael are delighted to have the house to themselves, but Ben thinks the whole thing is a joke. Michael’s new boyfriend, Matt, comes over to return Mikey’s watch – he invites Janey out clubbing with them and much to Michael’s annoyance, she accepts. Janey and Matt get on like a house on fire which becomes a little awkward when Matt dumps Michael but wants to remain friends with Janey. Michael is devastated and he and Janey fall out when he discovers that she is still spending time with Matt. Janey eventually redeems herself when Matt shows his true colours and Micahel overhears her sticking up for her little borther and giving Matt his marching orders. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1430) "Ben and Susan argue about his refusal to attend a diamond wedding anniversary party –  despite their rule about not going to bed angry, they do…and the bed collapses! The war of words continues in a furniture store and the only solution seems to be for them to have separate bedrooms and indeed, separate lives for a week, with alternate nights spent at the house. Janey and Michael conclude that the separation may be permanent. Ben cajoles a bed for the night at Roger’s flat and settles down to watch TV, completely ruining the romantic atmosphere Roger had created for his date with a new girlfriend. Susan, on the other hand, throws a party on her first night alone, but her subsequent stay and interference at Michael’s leads her son to seek assurance the arrangement is only temporary. Not wishing to be put upon any further by their parents, Janey and Michael try to persuade Ben to fight for his marriage – but it is the thought of spending another night at Roger’s that finally persuades Ben to attend the anniversary party – initially to Susan’s annoyance. Ben and Susan individually ask the anniversary couple how they have survived such a long marriage – and are surprised to discover that Lillian & George never argue. Heartwarming…but boring! Although they rub each other up the wrong way a lot of the time, Ben and Susan agree their life together is never dull and are re-united." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1430) "Ben and Susan argue about his refusal to attend a diamond wedding anniversary party –  despite their rule about not going to bed angry, they do…and the bed collapses! The war of words continues in a furniture store and the only solution seems to be for them to have separate bedrooms and indeed, separate lives for a week, with alternate nights spent at the house. Janey and Michael conclude that the separation may be permanent. Ben cajoles a bed for the night at Roger’s flat and settles down to watch TV, completely ruining the romantic atmosphere Roger had created for his date with a new girlfriend. Susan, on the other hand, throws a party on her first night alone, but her subsequent stay and interference at Michael’s leads her son to seek assurance the arrangement is only temporary. Not wishing to be put upon any further by their parents, Janey and Michael try to persuade Ben to fight for his marriage – but it is the thought of spending another night at Roger’s that finally persuades Ben to attend the anniversary party – initially to Susan’s annoyance. Ben and Susan individually ask the anniversary couple how they have survived such a long marriage – and are surprised to discover that Lillian & George never argue. Heartwarming…but boring! Although they rub each other up the wrong way a lot of the time, Ben and Susan agree their life together is never dull and are re-united." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1989) "Having forgotten Ben and Susan’s wedding anniversary, Janey and Michael pretend to have bought them a holiday to Spain knowing that they will be reticent about spending a fortnight together. However they are caught out when Ben and Susan accept the holiday and have some quick thinking to do! Michael reveals that he charged the holiday to Ben’s credit card but has a cunning plan to recoup the money by raiding the house of anything potentially valuable and going on “Cash In The Attic”. True to form, the outgoing flight to Spain does not go that smoothly when Ben is irritated by his fellow passengers, but on moving to different seats he and Susan sit next to a most nervous passenger whom Ben fails to reassure. Ben’s vexation is heightened when the Captain announces over the tannoy that a suspected outbreak of H7N1 virus in the UK means everyone on board the plane must be quarantined. His bad mood is compounded when his makeshift camp bed collapses and he’s wound up sleeping next to the nervous passenger again. Arguments about the food ensue and Susan is at the end of her tether with Ben’s obnoxious attitude. Back at home, an antiques expert can find nothing of value to sell until he espies the clock on the mantelpiece which he states would fetch £3,000 at auction. Janey and Michael hesitate but can’t resist and agree to sell. With hunger on his mind, Ben steals a nun’s banana – as he bites into it an Official enters with good news of their release, but Ben starts to choke on his mouthful causing the Official to believe he has suspicious symptoms - and despite Ben’s protestations the quarantine is extended. Despite berating Ben for his intolerance, time in quarantine has taken its toll on Susan’s patience and she snaps at her fellow passengers, which heightens Ben’s attractiveness to her. Upon their return after the holiday, all bodes well… until the replacement clock whirrs into action stopping Ben and Susan in their tracks" ["_episode_summary"]=> string(19) "field_57471e34d33f4" ["gallery"]=> string(0) "" ["_gallery"]=> string(19) "field_57471e55d33f5" ["cast_selection"]=> array(4) { [0]=> string(3) "100" [1]=> string(3) "105" [2]=> string(3) "111" [3]=> string(3) "109" } ["_cast_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471e7bd33f6" ["additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(10) "Jeff Rawle" ["_additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(9) "Thorndyke" ["_additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(11) "Daniel Hill" ["_additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(18) "Anecdote Passenger" ["_additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(10) "Clive Rowe" ["_additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(17) "Nervous Passenger" ["_additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(15) "Cicely Giddings" ["_additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(13) "Sister Brenda" ["_additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(15) "Elizabeth Bower" ["_additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "Laura, Young couple" ["_additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(9) "Tom Price" ["_additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(22) "Lawrence, Young couple" ["_additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(16) "Karina Fernandez" ["_additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(16) "Flight Attendant" ["_additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(14) "Daniel Stevens" ["_additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(4) "Pepe" ["_additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_8_actor"]=> string(12) "Vidal Sancho" ["_additional_casts_8_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_8_character"]=> string(20) "Isolation Controller" ["_additional_casts_8_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_9_actor"]=> string(10) "Jeff Rawle" ["_additional_casts_9_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_9_character"]=> string(20) "Captain Voice (V.O.)" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1989) "Having forgotten Ben and Susan’s wedding anniversary, Janey and Michael pretend to have bought them a holiday to Spain knowing that they will be reticent about spending a fortnight together. However they are caught out when Ben and Susan accept the holiday and have some quick thinking to do! Michael reveals that he charged the holiday to Ben’s credit card but has a cunning plan to recoup the money by raiding the house of anything potentially valuable and going on “Cash In The Attic”. True to form, the outgoing flight to Spain does not go that smoothly when Ben is irritated by his fellow passengers, but on moving to different seats he and Susan sit next to a most nervous passenger whom Ben fails to reassure. Ben’s vexation is heightened when the Captain announces over the tannoy that a suspected outbreak of H7N1 virus in the UK means everyone on board the plane must be quarantined. 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Upon their return after the holiday, all bodes well… until the replacement clock whirrs into action stopping Ben and Susan in their tracks" ["_episode_summary"]=> string(19) "field_57471e34d33f4" ["gallery"]=> string(0) "" ["_gallery"]=> string(19) "field_57471e55d33f5" ["cast_selection"]=> array(4) { [0]=> string(3) "100" [1]=> string(3) "105" [2]=> string(3) "111" [3]=> string(3) "109" } ["_cast_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471e7bd33f6" ["additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(10) "Jeff Rawle" ["_additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(9) "Thorndyke" ["_additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(11) "Daniel Hill" ["_additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(18) "Anecdote Passenger" ["_additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(10) "Clive Rowe" ["_additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(17) "Nervous Passenger" ["_additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(15) "Cicely Giddings" ["_additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(13) "Sister Brenda" ["_additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(15) "Elizabeth Bower" ["_additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "Laura, Young couple" ["_additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(9) "Tom Price" ["_additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(22) "Lawrence, Young couple" ["_additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(16) "Karina Fernandez" ["_additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(16) "Flight Attendant" ["_additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(14) "Daniel Stevens" ["_additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(4) "Pepe" ["_additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_8_actor"]=> string(12) "Vidal Sancho" ["_additional_casts_8_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_8_character"]=> string(20) "Isolation Controller" ["_additional_casts_8_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_9_actor"]=> string(10) "Jeff Rawle" ["_additional_casts_9_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_9_character"]=> string(20) "Captain Voice (V.O.)" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1654) "Ben is away for a week at a conference and Susan is being kept busy at work by boss, Katie. When she is told to re-do her new exhibition layout, Susan finds herself working late with the dashing young new guy, Chris. They share a glass of wine and he compliments her but soon gets a little too close for comfort and Susan makes a sharp exit. Meanwhile, Kenzo is upset that his Art teacher, Mr Tilley, is giving him bad grades. Michael was also taught by Mr Tilley and concludes that their tempestuous history is the reason for Kenzo’s low marks and resolves to give Mr. Tilley a piece of his mind. Katie informs Susan that Chris has accused her of sexual harassment – until the situation is resolved she is advised to avoid him. However, her fury wins out and Susan pulls Chris into her office to berate him. Unfortunately, Katie walks in and misconstrues the situation and thus Susan finds herself on a course to deal with inappropriate behaviour in the workplace. Susan’s attitude on the course causes the leader to halt proceedings and she is suspended from work. Mr Tilley remembers Michael & admonishes him as if he were a child again – Michael beats a hasty retreat but determines to show Kenzo that he’s no wimp. Susan decides the only option is to talk to Chris and convince him she did nothing wrong but he doesn’t need much convincing - he asks her to sleep with him. Being an expert in lechy men, Janey advises Susan to call his bluff and go along with his proposition but everything soon spirals out of control and Susan finds herself faced with the crushing reality of a future with Chris in up and coming Bromley-by-Bow." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1654) "Ben is away for a week at a conference and Susan is being kept busy at work by boss, Katie. When she is told to re-do her new exhibition layout, Susan finds herself working late with the dashing young new guy, Chris. They share a glass of wine and he compliments her but soon gets a little too close for comfort and Susan makes a sharp exit. Meanwhile, Kenzo is upset that his Art teacher, Mr Tilley, is giving him bad grades. Michael was also taught by Mr Tilley and concludes that their tempestuous history is the reason for Kenzo’s low marks and resolves to give Mr. Tilley a piece of his mind. Katie informs Susan that Chris has accused her of sexual harassment – until the situation is resolved she is advised to avoid him. However, her fury wins out and Susan pulls Chris into her office to berate him. Unfortunately, Katie walks in and misconstrues the situation and thus Susan finds herself on a course to deal with inappropriate behaviour in the workplace. Susan’s attitude on the course causes the leader to halt proceedings and she is suspended from work. Mr Tilley remembers Michael & admonishes him as if he were a child again – Michael beats a hasty retreat but determines to show Kenzo that he’s no wimp. Susan decides the only option is to talk to Chris and convince him she did nothing wrong but he doesn’t need much convincing - he asks her to sleep with him. Being an expert in lechy men, Janey advises Susan to call his bluff and go along with his proposition but everything soon spirals out of control and Susan finds herself faced with the crushing reality of a future with Chris in up and coming Bromley-by-Bow." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1625) "Susan has been offered an exciting job opportunity to read children’s books on TV, while the corporate bigwigs at Cavitex are making Ben’s working life a misery. So much so that he has revolution in mind and assembles like-minded Cavitex dentists to discuss strike action at the executive’s board meeting. Before that however, he is offered a promotion and although he has his list of demands at the ready, they suddenly slip his mind. Seduced by the power and a fancy pencil sharpener, Ben accepts. It transpires that Susan has competition for the television job – her daughter Janey, who, in an attempt to sabotage Susan’s audition, impersonates the producer and tries to re-schedule it. Susan is determined not to let the job come between them, until the £50K salary persuades her otherwise and she and Janey go head-to-head. Their battle escalates at the audition causing both of them being thrown out of the studio. Roger is stunned at the board meeting when Ben reveals his hand and refuses the dentists’ demands. Ben is enjoying corporate life but starts to feel uncomfortable about being used as an informant, until Mr Griffith offers him a pay rise and he spills the beans about the planned strike. The dentists give in, having forfeited all their benefits. Roger terminates his friendship with Ben and then Mr Griffith terminates Ben’s new position… until Ben plays his trump card and not only reinstates all the dentists’ demands, but sacks the executive board too. Susan reveals that Janey got the TV job after all… not as she expected but as merely the unseen voice of Dickens the Monkey!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1625) "Susan has been offered an exciting job opportunity to read children’s books on TV, while the corporate bigwigs at Cavitex are making Ben’s working life a misery. So much so that he has revolution in mind and assembles like-minded Cavitex dentists to discuss strike action at the executive’s board meeting. Before that however, he is offered a promotion and although he has his list of demands at the ready, they suddenly slip his mind. Seduced by the power and a fancy pencil sharpener, Ben accepts. It transpires that Susan has competition for the television job – her daughter Janey, who, in an attempt to sabotage Susan’s audition, impersonates the producer and tries to re-schedule it. Susan is determined not to let the job come between them, until the £50K salary persuades her otherwise and she and Janey go head-to-head. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1290) "Kenzo’s Dad, Mark, is spending a lot more time with his son and Janey… so much so that he seeks Ben’s permission to ask Janey for her hand in marriage and, being a successful businessman now, Ben is delighted to give it. On the contrary, Janey’s backpacker Australian boyfriend, Craig, asks Susan for her blessing to ask Janey to marry him – not only does Susan approve of this union but she also knows it will make Ben mad. And Roger is seeking the woman of his dreams too. Ben and Susan are jubilant about their future son-in-law, until they realise they’re not talking about the same person. They confront Janey who knows her heart will  choose the right man, but her parents are determined to coach their respective favourites in delivering the proposal that will win Janey’s heart. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1780) "Ben’s is enjoying some quality time alone but is thwarted by the arrival of Michael, upset about his break up with Scott, Janey who wants Michael to fill in for her at work while she cares for Kenzo, and Roger, still upset about Abi. Ben offers to help Janey out – after all, how hard can it be to sit and watch TV with an elderly gent, and she reluctantly accepts his offer while he is just thankful to get out of the house! Ben arrives at Harry’s and is quickly impressed with tales of his travels. Harry confides in Ben that he feels like he is in prison and wins Ben over. Meanwhile, Michael and Roger reminisce about their failed relationships and Michael suggests it would be cathartic to hold a “moving on” party where they each destroy something their respective exes gave them. Michael smashes a framed photo from Scott - Roger has brought Abi’s music box but isn’t finding it quite so easy… Ben has taken Harry to the shops in his car… but is beginning to panic when Harry doesn’t return. He finds Harry in a strip club and is urged to live his life to the full. He admits that he always wanted to be a singer and they move on to a karaoke bar where Harry has arranged for Ben to perform… during which time Harry gives him the slip again. Harry has returned to the strip club and reluctantly agrees to leave, as long as his two young friends, Jade and Michelle can have a lift home too. They tease Ben and wind up all getting tattoos, but an unfortunate mix up means he has Jade’s name emblazoned on his rear. Back at the house, Ben is astonished that Roger has embraced the healing powers of smashing Abi’s things a little too whole-heartedly. Janey arrives and is horrified to find Ben there… once again Harry has fooled him." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1780) "Ben’s is enjoying some quality time alone but is thwarted by the arrival of Michael, upset about his break up with Scott, Janey who wants Michael to fill in for her at work while she cares for Kenzo, and Roger, still upset about Abi. Ben offers to help Janey out – after all, how hard can it be to sit and watch TV with an elderly gent, and she reluctantly accepts his offer while he is just thankful to get out of the house! Ben arrives at Harry’s and is quickly impressed with tales of his travels. Harry confides in Ben that he feels like he is in prison and wins Ben over. Meanwhile, Michael and Roger reminisce about their failed relationships and Michael suggests it would be cathartic to hold a “moving on” party where they each destroy something their respective exes gave them. Michael smashes a framed photo from Scott - Roger has brought Abi’s music box but isn’t finding it quite so easy… Ben has taken Harry to the shops in his car… but is beginning to panic when Harry doesn’t return. He finds Harry in a strip club and is urged to live his life to the full. He admits that he always wanted to be a singer and they move on to a karaoke bar where Harry has arranged for Ben to perform… during which time Harry gives him the slip again. Harry has returned to the strip club and reluctantly agrees to leave, as long as his two young friends, Jade and Michelle can have a lift home too. They tease Ben and wind up all getting tattoos, but an unfortunate mix up means he has Jade’s name emblazoned on his rear. Back at the house, Ben is astonished that Roger has embraced the healing powers of smashing Abi’s things a little too whole-heartedly. Janey arrives and is horrified to find Ben there… once again Harry has fooled him." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1581) "Susan is going on a short trip - Ben feigns sadness but can’t wait to have a weekend to himself! Janey’s visit to her Dad is interrupted when two policeman call and ask Ben to help them with their enquiries about a mugging in the area. He duly gives his statement at the police station and agrees to take part in an ID parade. He is subjected to further questioning and after letting slip that he has “got rid of” his wife, is told that he will be held for a further period and is incarcerated with heavy-duty cell mates Carl and Terry. Carl and Terry tell Ben that the duty solicitor is useless and put a call in to their guy. When Ben is freed, the new lawyer having fixed everything, Ben is full of gratitude and offers to return the favour one day. However, he is horrified when Carl and Terry turn up on his doorstep that very same night. They invite themselves to stay the night, and a gorgeous associate in the form of Carls’ wife, Verity, turns up with a case of jewellery and gives Ben a bracelet – now they are partners in crime! Ben’s chance to escape out the back door is thwarted by Verity. She tells Ben she is tired of the company she keeps and wishes her husband was more like Ben! Her attempts to woo him further are thwarted by Carl – but he is not altogether disturbed by the prospect. Ben manages to escape from the bathroom window and although initially relieved to find the police on his doorstep, his identity is stolen by Carl, and being unable to explain his actions and why he is wearing a valuable bracelet, is led away again!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1581) "Susan is going on a short trip - Ben feigns sadness but can’t wait to have a weekend to himself! Janey’s visit to her Dad is interrupted when two policeman call and ask Ben to help them with their enquiries about a mugging in the area. He duly gives his statement at the police station and agrees to take part in an ID parade. He is subjected to further questioning and after letting slip that he has “got rid of” his wife, is told that he will be held for a further period and is incarcerated with heavy-duty cell mates Carl and Terry. Carl and Terry tell Ben that the duty solicitor is useless and put a call in to their guy. When Ben is freed, the new lawyer having fixed everything, Ben is full of gratitude and offers to return the favour one day. However, he is horrified when Carl and Terry turn up on his doorstep that very same night. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1890) "Ben is feeling a little envious of Michael’s party lifestyle and when he has to go down the Michael’s local gay bar one evening to collect the mobile Michael has drunkenly left behind, he is certain that the men will be all over him. This is not the case… Susan is highly amused Ben knows why – he’s obviously just oozing too much heterosexuality. Ben decides to update his wardrobe and invites Michael out for a drink at the gay bar but still fails to attract any attention. While Ben is at the bar, Susan calls Michael for an update and urges him to ask one of his friends to chat Ben up to avoid the impending confidence crisis. Meanwhile, Janey is concerned about speeding local traffic and decides to take action with the local council. However, the date of the meeting clashes with a party she wants to attend and she is torn between being a good mother and having fun. Eventually she decides that she doesn’t have to choose, she can do both! Her friends are seething at being dragged to such a dull meeting but speed up the proceedings with some “encouragement” and Janey’s motion is carried. Ben has finally had enough and they are about to leave the bar when Rupert comes over and gives Ben his card – result! Ben is delighted - until Rupert follows him home and begins texting him relentlessly. Enough is enough when Rupert books an appointment at the surgery just to see Ben, but then again, he does have a house in Tuscany… Susan decides to take action and invites Rupert over for dinner so she can educate him about the real Ben. By the time she has finished, not only is Rupert horrified at what a philistine Ben is and his affections suitably dampened but Rupert and Susan realise how much they have in common and have become friends. Rupert calls back a few days later to whisk Susan off to his place in Tuscany, leaving poor Ben all alone." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1890) "Ben is feeling a little envious of Michael’s party lifestyle and when he has to go down the Michael’s local gay bar one evening to collect the mobile Michael has drunkenly left behind, he is certain that the men will be all over him. This is not the case… Susan is highly amused Ben knows why – he’s obviously just oozing too much heterosexuality. Ben decides to update his wardrobe and invites Michael out for a drink at the gay bar but still fails to attract any attention. While Ben is at the bar, Susan calls Michael for an update and urges him to ask one of his friends to chat Ben up to avoid the impending confidence crisis. Meanwhile, Janey is concerned about speeding local traffic and decides to take action with the local council. However, the date of the meeting clashes with a party she wants to attend and she is torn between being a good mother and having fun. Eventually she decides that she doesn’t have to choose, she can do both! Her friends are seething at being dragged to such a dull meeting but speed up the proceedings with some “encouragement” and Janey’s motion is carried. Ben has finally had enough and they are about to leave the bar when Rupert comes over and gives Ben his card – result! Ben is delighted - until Rupert follows him home and begins texting him relentlessly. Enough is enough when Rupert books an appointment at the surgery just to see Ben, but then again, he does have a house in Tuscany… Susan decides to take action and invites Rupert over for dinner so she can educate him about the real Ben. By the time she has finished, not only is Rupert horrified at what a philistine Ben is and his affections suitably dampened but Rupert and Susan realise how much they have in common and have become friends. Rupert calls back a few days later to whisk Susan off to his place in Tuscany, leaving poor Ben all alone." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1402) "With all their children having flown the nest, Ben and Susan settle down to savour some peace and tranquillity… until the arrival of Craig, the son of one of Ben’s old University friends. His enthusiasm for DIY prompts Susan to invite him to stay for dinner, but his attempts at helping around the house prove incongruous to Ben who wants him to leave – much to the chagrin of Janey who quite fancies him! Ben confesses to Craig that he does not remember his mother, until a photo jogs his memory somewhat and his mind starts racing. He surreptitiously rings her and relives memories of whipped cream – indeed, he did know her! Alas, he is overheard by Michael and has to reveal that he thinks he could be Craig’s real father. Susan throws Ben into a panic when he learns Janey and Craig are on a dinner date and he is forced to admit his close liaison with Penny but insists he wasn’t two-timing Susan. Susan’s anger heightens on learning that Craig may be Ben’s son, but nothing can be proven without a DNA test – until then they must prevent Janey getting too friendly with Craig, so surprise the young couple at dinner – especially when Ben tries to take a swab from Craig’s mouth with a breadstick. To explain such weird behaviour, he blurts out his revelation. Eventually, Michael arrives with the DNA results… Craig is not a Harper – which pleases the whole family!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1402) "With all their children having flown the nest, Ben and Susan settle down to savour some peace and tranquillity… until the arrival of Craig, the son of one of Ben’s old University friends. His enthusiasm for DIY prompts Susan to invite him to stay for dinner, but his attempts at helping around the house prove incongruous to Ben who wants him to leave – much to the chagrin of Janey who quite fancies him! Ben confesses to Craig that he does not remember his mother, until a photo jogs his memory somewhat and his mind starts racing. He surreptitiously rings her and relives memories of whipped cream – indeed, he did know her! Alas, he is overheard by Michael and has to reveal that he thinks he could be Craig’s real father. Susan throws Ben into a panic when he learns Janey and Craig are on a dinner date and he is forced to admit his close liaison with Penny but insists he wasn’t two-timing Susan. 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It quickly becomes on of the Harpers’ most interesting Valentines weekends, with a creepy shrine and a cross dressing neighbour, culminating in Ben and Susan both being held hostage in Martin’s kitchen." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1002) "Martin from over the road” has been doing odd jobs round the house for Susan to keep his mind occupied after the death of his wife. Ever the good Samaritan, Ben has plenty of suggestions for him. Valentines Day is fast approaching and Ben enlists Michael’s help to buy Susan’s card. Janey is exhausted from working back to back shifts, Michael has a solution Tiger Fuel, an energy drink which certainly perks Janey up. Susan is delighted with Ben’s gifts and saucy card, as is Ben until Michael reveals that it wasn’t his doing. Susan obviously has an admirer but who else has access to the house? Ben confronts Martin about the Valentines card. Martin apologises and offers to confess to Susan but Ben, having never been so in favour with Susan, doesn’t think that’s necessary. It quickly becomes on of the Harpers’ most interesting Valentines weekends, with a creepy shrine and a cross dressing neighbour, culminating in Ben and Susan both being held hostage in Martin’s kitchen." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1208) "Much to Janey’s amusement, Michael is living the life of Riley and despite contributing nothing financially to the household, doesn’t even do so much as empty the bin. On coming home drunk yet again, Michael is confronted by a furious Ben, now at the end of his tether. However, in the resulting father-son chat, Michael admits to Ben that he is gay. Susan can’t believe that Michael has “come out” to his father of all people but Ben is coping annoyingly admirably and it turns out that it’s Susan who’s having trouble accepting that their son is gay. Michael tries to help by telling them about his boyfriend, Scott, but to no avail. Whilst bragging about how close he and Michael have become, Ben accidentally “outs” Scott to his father who consequently throws Scott out of the house. Ben drags the whole family with him to confront Scott’s father but in the end it is Susan who steps up to the plate. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1289) "It’s December 2039, and the Harpers are gathering together to celebrate Christmas. 30 years in the future the family’s appearance may have changed somewhat, but their love/hate relationships are still very much alive. Ben is in his eighties, a little slower than he used to be but still as grumpy as ever and causing grief for Susan, who thanks to “a little moisturiser”, hasn’t aged a bit. To say that Janey has gained a little weight is an understatement, as she now weighs-in at a whopping 20 stone; Michael is doing a very bad job of hiding his baldness with an unconvincing wig, and, following a disastrous trip to the zoo, Roger is just a head in a glass dome! Susan is put out that grandson Kenzo, now 38 years old, hasn’t come to visit the family for Christmas Day. 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Ben is quick to point out why; the truth is the Harpers have had some of the worst Christmases ever, and the family are reminded of some of their Christmas disasters... Two years stand out in particular: back when they were all a lot younger (and Janey was a lot lighter) the usual arguments over presents were exacerbated by Susan’s fun, new game, the ‘Greed Gift Exchange’. But when Kenzo finally arrives, he points out that the year Uncle Richard came to stay was just as traumatic for him." 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Episode Summary

Kenzo has a school project about his family - Susan tells Kenzo he can ask any questions he likes, but quietly warns the family that there are some things that must never be divulged! Firstly, Kenzo asks what it was like growing up in the house. Janey tells Kenzo how everyone got on and looked out for each other. Michael thinks he should answer the question. Next, Kenzo asks Ben about his job. Then Alfie sings a song for Kenzo about all the members of the family, but Kenzo is less than impressed! Kenzo asks Roger what his favourite part of being in the Harper family is – Roger tells tales about Ben. Susan impresses upon Kenzo that communication is the most important thing in a family, whereas Ben thinks the most important thing is trust and points out that they do have their fun times too. A few days later, Kenzo announces that he has received an “A” for his project, but now his school want him to see a psychologist!
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Episode Summary

Kenzo has a school project about his family - Susan tells Kenzo he can ask any questions he likes, but quietly warns the family that there are some things that must never be divulged! Firstly, Kenzo asks what it was like growing up in the house. Janey tells Kenzo how everyone got on and looked out for each other. Michael thinks he should answer the question. Next, Kenzo asks Ben about his job. Then Alfie sings a song for Kenzo about all the members of the family, but Kenzo is less than impressed! Kenzo asks Roger what his favourite part of being in the Harper family is – Roger tells tales about Ben. Susan impresses upon Kenzo that communication is the most important thing in a family, whereas Ben thinks the most important thing is trust and points out that they do have their fun times too. A few days later, Kenzo announces that he has received an “A” for his project, but now his school want him to see a psychologist!
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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1796) "Ben has insulted one of his patients, Jessica, who storms out. Roger enters to inform Ben that their employer Cavitex is using an undercover patient to evaluate customer services skills and that he must be really really nice to her before realising he is too late with the warning. Because of his rudeness,Ben is sent to The Cavitex Academy for a weekend of re-training. Jessica arrives in the lecture room and illustrates the “do’s” and “don’ts” of customer services - the good clips are of Roger and the bad clips are of Ben Then Mr Griffith shows a presentation on the technical element of dentistry, which sends Ben off to sleep. He awakes three hours later having missed the whole presentation. He finds out there will be a test on everything they have learnt and if he fails he will lose his job. But Ben realises that Roger must know all the answers to the test as he has taken it three times already - all he needs now is to practice the teeth whitening procedure and sets up the laser to practise on Roger. The laser hits Roger in the eye and Roger informs Ben the goggles that came with the machine were for him! Consequently, the next day at the test, Roger is temporarily blinded and can’t see the questions, leaving Ben no-one to copy from. Later, Mr Griffith hands out certificates to the dentists who pass the test, Ben isn’t one of them. Unwittingly, Roger gives Ben an idea to pay Mr Griffith off and takes him aside. With the intention of bribing him, they go to Ben’s hotel room where Ben hopes that he and Mr Griffith can come to a gentleman’s agreement – but Mr Griffiths misinterprets the situation and lies on the bed, half-dressed. Janey, Michael & Alfie share a slightly tipsy hug – Ben arrives home, glad that he has kept his job." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1796) "Ben has insulted one of his patients, Jessica, who storms out. Roger enters to inform Ben that their employer Cavitex is using an undercover patient to evaluate customer services skills and that he must be really really nice to her before realising he is too late with the warning. Because of his rudeness,Ben is sent to The Cavitex Academy for a weekend of re-training. Jessica arrives in the lecture room and illustrates the “do’s” and “don’ts” of customer services - the good clips are of Roger and the bad clips are of Ben Then Mr Griffith shows a presentation on the technical element of dentistry, which sends Ben off to sleep. He awakes three hours later having missed the whole presentation. He finds out there will be a test on everything they have learnt and if he fails he will lose his job. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1495) "Susan is concerned that everything is changing, and is even more so when Michael announces he is seeing a therapist. She is worried that her poor baby could have serious problems and wants to talk to Michael’s therapist whereas Ben thinks a father-son chat will sort things out. His initial move is to snoop around in Michael’s bedroom – Susan has the same idea – but they are both caught out when Michael appears and what they overhear seems to confirm the boy needs help! Ben decides they should indeed visit the therapist to try and find out what Michael’s problems are. On being told that Doctor Twelvetree is on holiday, Ben and Susan decide they cannot wait two-weeks and sneak back into the office behind the Receptionists’ back. They are then trapped until she goes home – but she sets an alarm and they then become locked in. 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Alfie enters with newspaper details of winning lottery numbers -which Ben thinks he has, but on searching the wardrobe for the new suit containing the ticket he discovers that Alfie has mistakenly swapped the suit for the one in which Uncle Norris is to be buried. They leave the house in a panic for the Undertaker’s with the intention of getting Ben’s suit and the lottery ticket back before Uncle Norris is buried wearing it! While Ben is trying to remove the suit the corpse, Uncle Norris’s son, Adam, comes to lay a wreath and have a private moment with his Dad before the funeral. Michael and Alfie try to delay him but in the end he walks in to find Ben and Susan in a rather compromising position on top of his father’s coffin. Due to these events, Susan uses her inheritance to pay for the funeral – but Ben still hasn’t given up hope of getting his suit back!" 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In the pub, Susan strikes a wager with Ben that she can collect more phone numbers than him – sure enough, soon she is surrounded by guys whereas in the background Ben is having no luck whatsoever. Similarly, Margot fails to meet a man she likes, so Susan offers to loan her Ben as a substitute date. During the date, Ben emulates Margot’s ex-husband’s every move… until it comes to being locked in a kiss. Margot is pleased when Phil leaves looking miserable – she toasts Ben and orders another bottle of wine. The next morning finds Ben and Margot in bed together – Ben wakes and initially is relieved to find that apart from his trousers, he still has his clothes on! However, an anxious Susan arrives causing Ben to hide in the wardrobe – but she susses him out and he tries to convince her that nothing happened between himself and Margot. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1742) "Janey is dating a new secret man and Michael tells the family that he has been approached by MI5 regarding working for them, the only problem is the family have to be interviewed! Susan has dressed up for her working lunch with her best client James Garrett whom Ben is a little jealous of - Susan assures him they have a professional business relationship and that’s all, but on getting a call from James begins to flirt and giggle. She heads out to work, telling Ben she will be home late. Ben, thinking Susan has forgotten her bag goes through it and finds a key to a hotel room with a note from James! That evening, he pretends to be the hotel manager to get into James’ room… only to find Janey, not Susan in there! Janey is mad at Ben, but asks him to keep James a secret as Susan is working with him. Ben cracks and tells Susan, but she seems to take the news really well. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1612) "Ben is having difficulty find the right words to write in Susan’s anniversary card despite fierce prompting from Janey. She heads off with Michael and Alfie to the local pub quiz – Ben is insulted that they have invited Roger but not him, but he invites himself along anyway. The team don’t appear to be doing so well in the quiz - Alfie points out that a player on another team has been cheating by texting all night. Ben decides to go and have a word and confronts Barry, the phone cheat, which leads to him being invited outside to sort out their disagreement! Ben only dreams he knocks Barry out! Determining to get into better shape, Ben orders gym equipment and starts to exercise – only to be found by Michael and Alfie on the floor in pain. Noticing all the gym equipment Michael asks if Ben intends having a rematch with Barry from the pub. Ben explains that he was bullied at school by Danni Jarvis and swore never to be on the receiving end of pain again. Michael thinks Ben should fight Barry and stand up for all bullied children. Ben reveals that his school bully, Danni, was in fact a girl – much to the delight of Janey, Michael and Alfie. And so they head off to the pub where Ben is flummoxed when Barry offers an apology. In order to save face in front of his children, Ben asks Barry to stage the fight, but inadvertently knocks a tray of drinks from the barmaid’s hands. She throws him along the bar – he looks up and realises said barmaid is Danni the Bully! Eventually, Ben hands Janey the anniversary card to post – it has actually been written by young Kenzo!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1612) "Ben is having difficulty find the right words to write in Susan’s anniversary card despite fierce prompting from Janey. She heads off with Michael and Alfie to the local pub quiz – Ben is insulted that they have invited Roger but not him, but he invites himself along anyway. The team don’t appear to be doing so well in the quiz - Alfie points out that a player on another team has been cheating by texting all night. Ben decides to go and have a word and confronts Barry, the phone cheat, which leads to him being invited outside to sort out their disagreement! Ben only dreams he knocks Barry out! Determining to get into better shape, Ben orders gym equipment and starts to exercise – only to be found by Michael and Alfie on the floor in pain. Noticing all the gym equipment Michael asks if Ben intends having a rematch with Barry from the pub. 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Much to Ben’s chagrin, the post brings news of an MBE for Susan for her charity work –Susan phones the Palace to accept her award but Ben realises the date clashes with their Mauritius trip and he knows where he would rather be! Susan gives the Mauritius tickets away to Janey, Michael and Alfie who decide that whoever lasts longest giving something up for New Year wins the tickets. Then Ben gets letter and 25-year service certificate from his dental authority, but the awards luncheon also clashes with Susan’s investiture which she deems more important to attend – Ben admits defeat. At the Investiture, Ben is impressed by the surroundings – including the chocolates which have the Royal Crest on them. He decides to take some to sell on E-bay and crams his pockets full. However, his sticky fingers mark Susan’s jacket and his attempts to remedy the situation get out of hand, culminating in tearing off her jacket sleeve, ruining her hat, and finally tipping red wine over her. Nevertheless, she proceeds with the other guests into the inner room to receive her award and on returning home is pleasantly surprised to find Ben has gathered all the family to congratulate her." 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Ben’s attempt at pacifying Susan by taking her breakfast in bed doesn’t work – he has to get her something special and she describes a necklace she has seen. Ben duly presents Susan with the gift, but a couple of days later he notices a jewellery sale advert in the local newspaper. He successfully obtains a full refund on the necklace, but the shop assistant refuses to sell it back at the sale price because it can’t be processed that quickly. Ben asks to see the General Manager - who is in the Grotto standing in for a drunken Santa! Ben wheedles his way to the front of the queue in the Grotto to confront the General Manager, but becomes belligerent and is ejected by Security. A fracas ensues, but Ben is not scared… until Susan appears. She promises to take Ben off the premises…but instead leads him to the Ladies Fashions’ floor determined to go on a spending spree at his expense. However, she gets the zip stuck on a new dress and when Ben goes into the cubicle to help her they get distracted and do not realise the store is closing. On hearing the Security Guard approaching they decide to hide and eventually realise they will be locked in all night. Ben notices a competition poster and decides the prize of a holiday to Mauritius would be a good alternative present for Susan. He decides to cheat and purposely spills the ping-pong balls in the competition drum and starts counting them. Ben and Susan awake the next morning to find themselves in bed in the window display and on returning home explain that it was only the amount of money they had spent in the store that allowed them to escape any retribution from the store. After Christmas, a letter arrives announcing the competition winner – Susan!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2100) "After reading a magazine article, Susan decides that she and Ben should abstain from any physical contact for three weeks to spice up their love life. Be points out that, as it’s already been four weeks, they should get cracking, but Susan is insistent. The next morning, Michael shows Ben a note from Abi that was on the kitchen table. Roger enters, Ben reads the note behind him. Abi has left to become a nun and wants Ben and Susan to tell Roger. Meanwhile Janey gets Michael to dig up the dirt on her new boyfriend, Ron, as she thinks he’s married. Susan sets up a meeting with Roger in a restaurant to tell him about Abi. Ben thinks she’s mad and bets her £20 that Roger will go ballistic. Susan expects a few tears at most. Ben and Susan tell Roger, he cries at first, and Ben pays up. Then he goes berserk and the money passes back. That night, Michael tells Janey what he’s found out about Danny. Turns out, he’s not married; he just lives with his mother. Ben and Susan enter with Roger. He’s been sedated by the medic at the police station. Susan makes them go on “Roger watch.” At five in the morning, Susan wakes Ben. She wants out of the agreement they made. Ben wakes up immediately. They are just about to kiss when Roger bursts in the room. He wants to go see Abi. He talks Ben into going with him. Roger and Ben are asked to leave the convent and Roger pleads with Ben for help in talking to Abi. Ben has an idea. Ben and Roger enter the convent chapel – Ben dressed as a priest and Roger as a nun. They hide out until Roger has a chance to talk to Abi alone. Back at Ron’s place, his mother is away and he and Janey have just returned, tipsily from the pub. The lights are off and curtains pulled as Janey and Ron enter, giggling and making out. She flips the light switch to reveal it is the bedroom has been untouched since Ron was about twelve. Roger has managed to get Abi on her own and he makes her think again, but Susan appears on the scene. It becomes apparent that Abi has a true vocation and will be staying at the convent." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2100) "After reading a magazine article, Susan decides that she and Ben should abstain from any physical contact for three weeks to spice up their love life. Be points out that, as it’s already been four weeks, they should get cracking, but Susan is insistent. The next morning, Michael shows Ben a note from Abi that was on the kitchen table. Roger enters, Ben reads the note behind him. Abi has left to become a nun and wants Ben and Susan to tell Roger. Meanwhile Janey gets Michael to dig up the dirt on her new boyfriend, Ron, as she thinks he’s married. Susan sets up a meeting with Roger in a restaurant to tell him about Abi. Ben thinks she’s mad and bets her £20 that Roger will go ballistic. Susan expects a few tears at most. Ben and Susan tell Roger, he cries at first, and Ben pays up. Then he goes berserk and the money passes back. That night, Michael tells Janey what he’s found out about Danny. Turns out, he’s not married; he just lives with his mother. Ben and Susan enter with Roger. He’s been sedated by the medic at the police station. Susan makes them go on “Roger watch.” At five in the morning, Susan wakes Ben. She wants out of the agreement they made. Ben wakes up immediately. They are just about to kiss when Roger bursts in the room. He wants to go see Abi. He talks Ben into going with him. Roger and Ben are asked to leave the convent and Roger pleads with Ben for help in talking to Abi. Ben has an idea. Ben and Roger enter the convent chapel – Ben dressed as a priest and Roger as a nun. They hide out until Roger has a chance to talk to Abi alone. Back at Ron’s place, his mother is away and he and Janey have just returned, tipsily from the pub. The lights are off and curtains pulled as Janey and Ron enter, giggling and making out. She flips the light switch to reveal it is the bedroom has been untouched since Ron was about twelve. Roger has managed to get Abi on her own and he makes her think again, but Susan appears on the scene. It becomes apparent that Abi has a true vocation and will be staying at the convent." 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The trouble is that nobody wants to tell him, so they ask Susan to do the deed. She thinks Ben will be crushed by the news - and readily agrees to tell him. When it comes to it, Ben is now so upbeat by actually having friends that she doesn’t have the heart to break the news to him. Michael and Alfie go on their date pretending to be each other, a situation which becomes further complicated by the girls’ wanting to swap boys! At the school concert, Ben is so critical of Kenzo that Susan breaks the news about the band, but Ben simply doesn’t believe it and explains that, as they have another band rehearsal the next day. One of them is going to look very foolish at 10.30 tomorrow. At 11.30, it is obvious, that the lads aren’t coming and Susan gives him some healing words to comfort Ben. He, in turn, has to find some comforting words for young Kenzo who has overheard some parents at the concert saying he is rubbish. Ben and Kenzo decide to jam together." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1990) "Susan and Kenzo are away so Ben is looking forward to evenings with pizza, magazines, beer & DVDs, and Janey is looking to recreate her youthful freedom. Ben’s evening is spoilt by a loud generator next door. The next morning, neighbour, Mr Casey, calls to tell a desperately tired Ben that he will be using the generator until his renovation work is completed. Ben leaves for work but runs back in to phone for an ambulance having knocked Mr Casey over. While visiting Mr Casey in hospital, Ben tries to persuade Janey and Michael it was an accident. The police arrive saying they believe it was, but warning that Casey might sue. Ben nurses Casey at home, hoping to win him over but becomes increasingly exasperated by demands for everything from breakfast to dealing with his bedpan. Mr Channing, an insurance assessor, calls believing Casey is defrauding the company and he persuades Ben to try to get the evidence. In an attempt to prove Casey’s fraud, Ben places a bottle of malt whisky on the mantelpiece and leaves. He sneaks in, finds an old camera and peeks into the living room, but his plan is foiled by Alfie’s offering to pour Casey a drink. Ben tries to provoke Casey into moving by over-watering his prized plant. When that doesn’t work, he pours Casey’s dog’s ashes from an urn into the plant pot, but they turn out to be Mrs Casey’s. Upstairs, Ben smokes a cigarette under the smoke alarm causing it to go off, grabs his camera and runs down shouting that the house is on fire, but Casey doesn’t believe him. Michael comes down announcing that there really is a fire, and, as Casey jumps out of bed, Ben gets his evidence but then realises the house is actually on fire. The next day, Casey enters the kitchen and Ben says he’ll back Casey’s claim if he supports Ben’s story – they agree. Michael enters and tells them he’s recorded their conversation on the mended video camera, and Ben & Casey reach for their wallets." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1990) "Susan and Kenzo are away so Ben is looking forward to evenings with pizza, magazines, beer & DVDs, and Janey is looking to recreate her youthful freedom. Ben’s evening is spoilt by a loud generator next door. The next morning, neighbour, Mr Casey, calls to tell a desperately tired Ben that he will be using the generator until his renovation work is completed. Ben leaves for work but runs back in to phone for an ambulance having knocked Mr Casey over. While visiting Mr Casey in hospital, Ben tries to persuade Janey and Michael it was an accident. The police arrive saying they believe it was, but warning that Casey might sue. Ben nurses Casey at home, hoping to win him over but becomes increasingly exasperated by demands for everything from breakfast to dealing with his bedpan. Mr Channing, an insurance assessor, calls believing Casey is defrauding the company and he persuades Ben to try to get the evidence. In an attempt to prove Casey’s fraud, Ben places a bottle of malt whisky on the mantelpiece and leaves. He sneaks in, finds an old camera and peeks into the living room, but his plan is foiled by Alfie’s offering to pour Casey a drink. Ben tries to provoke Casey into moving by over-watering his prized plant. When that doesn’t work, he pours Casey’s dog’s ashes from an urn into the plant pot, but they turn out to be Mrs Casey’s. Upstairs, Ben smokes a cigarette under the smoke alarm causing it to go off, grabs his camera and runs down shouting that the house is on fire, but Casey doesn’t believe him. Michael comes down announcing that there really is a fire, and, as Casey jumps out of bed, Ben gets his evidence but then realises the house is actually on fire. The next day, Casey enters the kitchen and Ben says he’ll back Casey’s claim if he supports Ben’s story – they agree. Michael enters and tells them he’s recorded their conversation on the mended video camera, and Ben & Casey reach for their wallets." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1842) "Cards are causing trouble this week as Ben discovers from the bank statements that Susan is visiting Zelda Nobbs, a fortune teller, and Susan similarly discovers that Ben is regularly losing money playing poker. Abi and Roger seek advice from Susan because Roger thinks Abi is seeing too much of her friends. It appears that Roger has no friends, so Susan suggests that Michael should take him to the pub with his friends. Susan agrees to stop seeing Zelda if Ben stops playing poker. It’s a deal which neither of them sticks to. Ben tries to borrow money from both Janey and Michael for his game, while Susan is disturbed by Zelda’s reluctant revelation that Ben is to die on Thursday at 9.04pm. When she tells Ben, they both laugh it off as preposterous, but another of Zelda’s predictions comes true when Michael announces that he has been invited to Tuscany in the summer. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1842) "Cards are causing trouble this week as Ben discovers from the bank statements that Susan is visiting Zelda Nobbs, a fortune teller, and Susan similarly discovers that Ben is regularly losing money playing poker. Abi and Roger seek advice from Susan because Roger thinks Abi is seeing too much of her friends. It appears that Roger has no friends, so Susan suggests that Michael should take him to the pub with his friends. Susan agrees to stop seeing Zelda if Ben stops playing poker. It’s a deal which neither of them sticks to. Ben tries to borrow money from both Janey and Michael for his game, while Susan is disturbed by Zelda’s reluctant revelation that Ben is to die on Thursday at 9.04pm. When she tells Ben, they both laugh it off as preposterous, but another of Zelda’s predictions comes true when Michael announces that he has been invited to Tuscany in the summer. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1909) "Ben enters his bank to pay in a cheque. The cashier initially tries to get him to leave and eventually produces a sawn-off shotgun – Joan is one of a duo robbing the bank. Gary, her husband, has the hostages in an interview room. Gary takes Ben to join the other hostages – Peter, the manager, Belinda the Chief Cashier and Jim, a customer. At the bank, Jim has a plan to overpower the robbers. Ben’s vehement refusal is overheard by Gary who immediately takes Ben out of the room into the bank lobby. As he does, Janey arrives and, after they hear that the police have the place surrounded, she and Ben are put back in the hostage room. At home, Penny a very pretty Family Liaison Officer calls, initially, to see Susan, but Michael persuades her to stay. Joan and Gary, constantly arguing, tell Ben to answer the phone and talk to the police. Half way through, to Joan’s and Gary’s fury, Ben puts the phone down refusing their terms – he is The Negotiator. Penny tells Michael that they know that Janey has also been taken hostage but she thinks she’s is making a mess of her first job as a liaison officer, so it’s Michael’s turn to comfort her. At the bank, a discussion between the hostages as to whom should be released to the police in exchange for food is decided when Janey tells Ben that she has parked his car on a double yellow line. Jim tries to jump Gary but slips, and it is left to Belinda to grab the gun; unfortunately, Joan reveals that she is not stupid enough to give Gary a loaded gun. This leads to a big argument between them and, this time, Ben’s mediation leads them to make up just as the police storm the bank. In the melee, Ben sets off the security dye in the bank’s money bags. He returns home, literally red-faced, and Michael surreptitiously persuades Ben silently to disappear upstairs as Penny continues to comfort him on the sofa." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1909) "Ben enters his bank to pay in a cheque. The cashier initially tries to get him to leave and eventually produces a sawn-off shotgun – Joan is one of a duo robbing the bank. Gary, her husband, has the hostages in an interview room. Gary takes Ben to join the other hostages – Peter, the manager, Belinda the Chief Cashier and Jim, a customer. At the bank, Jim has a plan to overpower the robbers. Ben’s vehement refusal is overheard by Gary who immediately takes Ben out of the room into the bank lobby. As he does, Janey arrives and, after they hear that the police have the place surrounded, she and Ben are put back in the hostage room. At home, Penny a very pretty Family Liaison Officer calls, initially, to see Susan, but Michael persuades her to stay. Joan and Gary, constantly arguing, tell Ben to answer the phone and talk to the police. 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He returns home, literally red-faced, and Michael surreptitiously persuades Ben silently to disappear upstairs as Penny continues to comfort him on the sofa." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1780) "Everyone is in love in this week’s episode: Ben is in love - with an extremely large television of which he has taken delivery for a neighbour; Janey is in love with a new man, Adam, a widower with a son Kenzo’s age and a large bank account; Roger is in love with his new role as Special Constable; Michael’s current love has announced that she is pregnant! Michael decides that he should do the honourable thing and propose marriage – he announces that Nikki’s parents think it would be good if they came round to discuss the ‘situation’. Janey’s new romance is running into trouble as Kenzo tells Janey he doesn’t like Adam’s son, Joshua. Susan tells Nikki’s parents that Michael is prepared to marry Nikki, but they are after a £20,000 contribution instead. A row ensues and Nikki’s parents storm out. Michael is still intent on marriage. Ben is horrified, but Susan thinks it’s romantic and gives Michael an engagement ring which belonged to his grandmother. Nikki arrives having been thrown out of her home by her parents – Susan agrees to let her stay. Michael announces he wants his family present when he proposes. Janey and Daniel get into an argument over their children, and the romance appears over until Kenzo and Joshua come downstairs saying they’re now friends. As Michael gets up the courage to propose to Nikki he’s interrupted by the arrival of her parents who ask to speak to Nikki alone. Ben, Susan, Janey and Michael wait in the kitchen for news but when they enter the sitting room they discover that the Bakers have taken anything of value, including the neighbour’s TV and left – in Ben’s car! Ben gets his mother’s ring back but gives it to the neighbour when he calls to pick up his television." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1780) "Everyone is in love in this week’s episode: Ben is in love - with an extremely large television of which he has taken delivery for a neighbour; Janey is in love with a new man, Adam, a widower with a son Kenzo’s age and a large bank account; Roger is in love with his new role as Special Constable; Michael’s current love has announced that she is pregnant! Michael decides that he should do the honourable thing and propose marriage – he announces that Nikki’s parents think it would be good if they came round to discuss the ‘situation’. Janey’s new romance is running into trouble as Kenzo tells Janey he doesn’t like Adam’s son, Joshua. Susan tells Nikki’s parents that Michael is prepared to marry Nikki, but they are after a £20,000 contribution instead. A row ensues and Nikki’s parents storm out. Michael is still intent on marriage. Ben is horrified, but Susan thinks it’s romantic and gives Michael an engagement ring which belonged to his grandmother. Nikki arrives having been thrown out of her home by her parents – Susan agrees to let her stay. Michael announces he wants his family present when he proposes. Janey and Daniel get into an argument over their children, and the romance appears over until Kenzo and Joshua come downstairs saying they’re now friends. As Michael gets up the courage to propose to Nikki he’s interrupted by the arrival of her parents who ask to speak to Nikki alone. Ben, Susan, Janey and Michael wait in the kitchen for news but when they enter the sitting room they discover that the Bakers have taken anything of value, including the neighbour’s TV and left – in Ben’s car! Ben gets his mother’s ring back but gives it to the neighbour when he calls to pick up his television." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2646) "Ben gets a visit from Jacob Marley to kick start his Christmas, so it looks as through things may be bleak in the Harper house, but when Susan announces that this Christmas there will be no tree, no decorations and, most importantly, no family, Ben thinks all his Christmases have come at once. Susan whisks him away to a relaxing retreat in the country where the rest of the Harper family can’t ruin his ‘festivity free’ Christmas. However, Susan, of course, has secretly planned her own version of the perfect Christmas and arranges for the whole family to surprise a thoroughly relaxed Ben on the ‘big’ day. Despite Janey’s and Michael’s misgivings about the whole plan, Susan is very determined that, if everyone sticks to their schedule, it will work, but she turns down Michael’s plea that his girlfriend Gwen should come along too. Things start going wrong from the outset, as Roger manages to break his leg and ruin Susan’s timings. Believing the rest of the family to be a safe distance away, Ben settles into the hotel and begins the Christmas he’s always dreamed of. However, Ben’s fantasy didn’t include a visit from his crazed stalker, Crystal… and Susan’s ideal festive season didn’t include coming face to face with the Christmas turkey in full feather and very much alive. Newly qualified as a massage therapist, Abi decides to pay for her and Roger’s room by working in the hotel spa. When Abi turns up for an appointment, she is shocked and horrified to discover who is lying on her table – with little more than a towel to cover his modesty. Alfie’s family have put him in charge of ‘babysitting’ his Uncle Idris this year, which he aims to do at the Harper house, but with Idris’s habit of wandering off, it’s not long before Alfie despairs and turns up at the hotel for support. Despite Susan’s insistence of making it a ‘family only’ Christmas, Michael sneaks Gwen into his room, and Janey, shocked to learn that Kenzo’s dad has bought him a pony, sets off to find something even better. Eventually all the Harpers are not only in under one roof but in the same room as they hide from Crystal’s jailbird boyfriend who has escaped from jail dressed as Father Christmas. Ben hides and knocks him cold – only to discover it is the hotel owner, Mr Salem. Then the other Father Christmas turns up and Ben gives him the same treatment – but this time it’s the one Janey employed to surprise Kenzo. When the third father Christmas appears, Ben metes out similar treatment but, this time, discovers that Christmas can have real magic for the whole family." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2646) "Ben gets a visit from Jacob Marley to kick start his Christmas, so it looks as through things may be bleak in the Harper house, but when Susan announces that this Christmas there will be no tree, no decorations and, most importantly, no family, Ben thinks all his Christmases have come at once. Susan whisks him away to a relaxing retreat in the country where the rest of the Harper family can’t ruin his ‘festivity free’ Christmas. However, Susan, of course, has secretly planned her own version of the perfect Christmas and arranges for the whole family to surprise a thoroughly relaxed Ben on the ‘big’ day. Despite Janey’s and Michael’s misgivings about the whole plan, Susan is very determined that, if everyone sticks to their schedule, it will work, but she turns down Michael’s plea that his girlfriend Gwen should come along too. Things start going wrong from the outset, as Roger manages to break his leg and ruin Susan’s timings. Believing the rest of the family to be a safe distance away, Ben settles into the hotel and begins the Christmas he’s always dreamed of. However, Ben’s fantasy didn’t include a visit from his crazed stalker, Crystal… and Susan’s ideal festive season didn’t include coming face to face with the Christmas turkey in full feather and very much alive. Newly qualified as a massage therapist, Abi decides to pay for her and Roger’s room by working in the hotel spa. When Abi turns up for an appointment, she is shocked and horrified to discover who is lying on her table – with little more than a towel to cover his modesty. Alfie’s family have put him in charge of ‘babysitting’ his Uncle Idris this year, which he aims to do at the Harper house, but with Idris’s habit of wandering off, it’s not long before Alfie despairs and turns up at the hotel for support. Despite Susan’s insistence of making it a ‘family only’ Christmas, Michael sneaks Gwen into his room, and Janey, shocked to learn that Kenzo’s dad has bought him a pony, sets off to find something even better. Eventually all the Harpers are not only in under one roof but in the same room as they hide from Crystal’s jailbird boyfriend who has escaped from jail dressed as Father Christmas. Ben hides and knocks him cold – only to discover it is the hotel owner, Mr Salem. Then the other Father Christmas turns up and Ben gives him the same treatment – but this time it’s the one Janey employed to surprise Kenzo. When the third father Christmas appears, Ben metes out similar treatment but, this time, discovers that Christmas can have real magic for the whole family." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3154) "Janey wants Ben to take Kenzo to the park but he is busy relaxing so she asks Alfie instead. Opening Titles Susan lays towels on the bed before she gets in. She then tosses off the duvet and opens the window. Ben tries to shut the window but is stopped by an angry Susan. Ben complains about the mood swings and emotional outbursts, not to mention the sweaty towels. Ben thinks she is on drugs but Michael, in a man to man talk, tells him she is going through the menopause. He is waiting to talk to her when she gets home but Susan confesses she has been arrested for shoplifting. The doorbell goes and it is the head of security from the Department store. He is trying to let Susan off the prosecution as they are aware that many of their clientele are women of a certain age. He asks Susan to tell the police that she is going through a forgetful time of her life, she asks him to leave. Alfie has met a lovely girl in the park, but she thinks he is Kenzo’s dad and also that the house in Chiswick is his. Roger and Abi return from the London Aquarium. There is tension because of Susan’s up coming trial, Roger is very protective of Susan. Alfie’s friend from the park arrives and returns his wallet. Alfie introduces Janey as his ex wife. A letter arrives to tell Susan she is going to court. She accuses Ben of not believing her, Michael brings home a lie detector machine so Susan can prove her innocence. It proves she absentmindedly put them in her hand bag and left the shop before she paid for them. Ben tries to find the best lawyer to represent her but has no luck. They are at least £500 an hour. He suggests he defends her himself, and after much hilarity she agrees. Melanie, Alfie’s friend arrives and she tells Ben Alfie is a surgeon! Ben does his best to drop Alfie in it with Melanie and Ben is passed off as his manservant. Alfie confesses the whole thing is a tissue of lies, but they still end up going off happily together. Ben tries to tell Susan he is going for diminished responsibility when he defends her, he tries to persuade her to mention she is going through the change, then the court may let her off. He tries to tell her she may be going through the menopause, Susan dissolves into tears. The family are all in the court to support her. Ben tells the Judge he is representing his wife and she advises Susan to seek professional representation. Ben launches into his ‘Rumpole’ type speech, but in fact the prosecution should go first. Ben then tries to make out that the Head of Security has a drink problem, Susan is a mortified Ben seems to have based his entire defence on the fact that everyone has a drink at lunch time. Stills from the CCTV footage are produced, and it becomes obvious to everyone that Susan did actually take the sunglasses. Roger is outwardly distressed. Ben puts Susan on the stand and tries to discuss mood swings with her. He ends up shouting at Susan that she is going through the menopause. Susan is asked to approach the bench and the Judge, a woman of a similar age, gives her advice on the menopause. She lets Susan off. The family toast Susan." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3154) "Janey wants Ben to take Kenzo to the park but he is busy relaxing so she asks Alfie instead. Opening Titles Susan lays towels on the bed before she gets in. She then tosses off the duvet and opens the window. Ben tries to shut the window but is stopped by an angry Susan. Ben complains about the mood swings and emotional outbursts, not to mention the sweaty towels. Ben thinks she is on drugs but Michael, in a man to man talk, tells him she is going through the menopause. He is waiting to talk to her when she gets home but Susan confesses she has been arrested for shoplifting. The doorbell goes and it is the head of security from the Department store. He is trying to let Susan off the prosecution as they are aware that many of their clientele are women of a certain age. He asks Susan to tell the police that she is going through a forgetful time of her life, she asks him to leave. Alfie has met a lovely girl in the park, but she thinks he is Kenzo’s dad and also that the house in Chiswick is his. Roger and Abi return from the London Aquarium. There is tension because of Susan’s up coming trial, Roger is very protective of Susan. Alfie’s friend from the park arrives and returns his wallet. Alfie introduces Janey as his ex wife. A letter arrives to tell Susan she is going to court. She accuses Ben of not believing her, Michael brings home a lie detector machine so Susan can prove her innocence. It proves she absentmindedly put them in her hand bag and left the shop before she paid for them. Ben tries to find the best lawyer to represent her but has no luck. They are at least £500 an hour. He suggests he defends her himself, and after much hilarity she agrees. Melanie, Alfie’s friend arrives and she tells Ben Alfie is a surgeon! Ben does his best to drop Alfie in it with Melanie and Ben is passed off as his manservant. Alfie confesses the whole thing is a tissue of lies, but they still end up going off happily together. Ben tries to tell Susan he is going for diminished responsibility when he defends her, he tries to persuade her to mention she is going through the change, then the court may let her off. He tries to tell her she may be going through the menopause, Susan dissolves into tears. The family are all in the court to support her. Ben tells the Judge he is representing his wife and she advises Susan to seek professional representation. Ben launches into his ‘Rumpole’ type speech, but in fact the prosecution should go first. Ben then tries to make out that the Head of Security has a drink problem, Susan is a mortified Ben seems to have based his entire defence on the fact that everyone has a drink at lunch time. Stills from the CCTV footage are produced, and it becomes obvious to everyone that Susan did actually take the sunglasses. Roger is outwardly distressed. Ben puts Susan on the stand and tries to discuss mood swings with her. He ends up shouting at Susan that she is going through the menopause. Susan is asked to approach the bench and the Judge, a woman of a similar age, gives her advice on the menopause. She lets Susan off. The family toast Susan." 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Ben thinks they are above it but takes the blue ones and starts sticking them on things too. They both put stickers on Kenzo but take them off when he hasn’t got the part. They do not label Janey. Janey has pulled Kenzo out because she doesn’t want to put Kenzo through all that, but they have asked her to be the Wheatie Pops mum. Susan sticks a sticker on her. Michael and Alfie are ready for the live website broadcast. When Alfie realises it is live and that there will be 2.3million people about to watch him he freezes and then passes out. Ben and Susan go to visit Ted and Joanna, who accuse them of going through a rough patch too. They offer to help but end up rowing again. After listening to them crashing and banging, Ben and Susan sneak out taking Ted’s Bollinger with them. Back home they toast one another with Ted’s champagne. All the stickers have gone except one!" 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Janey by now has hair sticking right up because of the static, to make matters worse her boyfriend dumps her on her mobile. Abi finally arrives but instead of walking down the aisle she rushes in through the side and it is left to Ben and Roger to walk down the aisle. When it comes to saying I do Abi can’t do it, she says Ben knows why and rushes off to the vestry to chat with Susan. Ben tries to shrug it off and blame if on someone called Ken. Roger passes out! Abi thinks she will be just like her Mum and that she will run off eventually and also that Ben had told her Marriage was like being in a boxing ring. Back in the Church the organist is trying to keep things together and Ben tries to be re -assuring. Janey is now very drunk. Michael and Alfie leave to discuss their differences in the toilets and the girl follows them in and overhears them talking, she thinks they are both gay and should come out. Susan talks Abi back into marrying Roger. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2441) "Ben is excited at seeing old college friend Charlie, who is visiting from America, but Susan asks that he stay around long enough to meet Roger’s mum, Nerys, who is coming to meet Abi for the first time. At breakfast, Janey asks for ten-thousand pounds to invest in her friend’s retro clothes shop – knowing that her parents were unlikely to give her the loan, she has set up a meeting at a bank. Charlie arrives to talk to Susan before meeting up again with Ben – he has had a sex-change operation and is now known as Charlotte! Knowing this might be difficult for Ben to comprehend, she asks for Susan’s help in breaking the news to him - but when she tries to do so, Ben is too interested in his golf-putting practice to pay any attention. The next day, Abi is preparing a meal, hoping to impress Roger’s Mum with her cooking, but when Nerys arrives, she slyly turns the oven thermostat up, thereby burning Abi’s hash. That evening, Nerys toasts the happy couple and announces her wedding present is the gift of a house and a dental practice for Roger – but in Wales.. Ben is the only one who appears delighted at this news of their impending move. Finally, Charlie arrives to meet up with Ben – who duly faints in surprise at the transformation. Ben then flounders when asked to give her away at her forthcoming wedding, and doesn’t feel he can hang out with Charlie like he used to. Indeed, he is more than encouraging when Charlie and Susan decide to go shopping together. In the meantime, Alfie has taken a shine to Charlie. Upon their return, Susan tackles Nerys about her strong motherly hold over Roger – and writes an upset Janey a ten-thousand pound cheque to prove she herself is a good mother! Roger finally stands up to his mother and tells her he and Abi won’t be moving to Wales. Nerys promptly accuses Ben of turning Roger against her, and calls his friend Charlie a deviant. Ben is forced to defend Charlie and suggests Nerys could learn a lot about being a woman from her. At the pub, Ben softens and agrees to give Charlie away at her wedding, but he will have to make do with being a bridesmaid instead as Susan has already accepted the role. Back home, he is exasperated on learning that Abi and Roger are not moving to Wales after their wedding, Janey is exasperated when she realises Ben won’t counter-sign her cheque, and Alfie reveals that Charlie has surprised him!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2275) "Ben uses Alfie as a remote control for the tv because the batteries have gone! Titles Susan’s mother is coming to visit and show her holiday snaps, and Susan has to lock Ben in to stop him escaping! Susan’s mother shows pictures of her wedding which Susan knew nothing about. Michael has applied for the family to appear on the Weakest Link and they have been accepted. Susan has to talk Ben into appearing. The family arrive in the Weakest Link Green room for their briefing where they all showing signs of nerves by having to visit the loo one by one. Anne Robinson introduces the show and the family introduce themselves for the beginning of the Weakest Link. Janey uses it as a dating show until the floor manager calls ‘cut’! Abi is the first to be voted off quickly followed by Roger. Who is clearly upset he cried on National television. Janey is then voted off and visibly upset as she enters the green room to watch the others….matters are not helped when Kenzo is the only one the green room to answer one of the questions…. Susan upsets Grace by being unkind to her and Grace comes out with the fact that Susan was married previously in Las Vegas in 1973. Grace admits she is a loose cannon after a few drinks after she has been voted off and doing her piece to camera in the interview room. Ben is visibly annoyed and the next round becomes a shambles as the family do not listen to Anne’s questions, they carry on their argument., even Michael is upset about Susan and fails to answer a question. They all vote Susan off, and as she leaves the set Ben chases after her in the middle of the programme. Susan hides in the green room and when the floor manager demands he go back on or be sued for the cost of the recording Ben has to go back to the set. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2783) "Roger and Abi never stop kissing and it is ruining the family breakfast. Susan covers them up with a tea towel, Ben hits them over the head with the paper. Roger says it is alright as they are engaged to be married and they have named the day, it’s Saturday. Not sure which Saturday! Ben’s DVD boxed set of Nazi’s in Colour has arrived. He is settling down for hours of pleasure when Janey comes in and asks for his advice on schooling for Kenzo. Roger and Abi are still kissing which leaves Susan wanting to know if they were ever that passionate. Susan says their big day was crap, she decides they should re new their vows. The thought of having to say they love each other in front of people is too much for Ben to cope with. He thinks it is pointless. When Susan starts to throw away sexy outfits Ben has to agree and then he rushes off to watch his DVD’s rather than make love with Susan. Alfie joins him on the very edge of the sofa bed. The next morning, Janey goes to the vestry after morning service to approach the vicar about Kenzo’s schooling. When Susan comes down Alfie and Ben are on the sofa bed together asleep! Janey returns and is upset the vicar has come on to her and Ben and Susan tell her and Michael they are renewing their wedding vows on Saturday the 14th. Alfie apologises to Ben about being asleep on the sofa, Ben wants to know why Alfie had no clothes on. Michael is given the job of finding their old friends to ask them to come to the ceremony. Susan has dug out their old wedding outfits. Ben tries his on only to find it is a little tight whereas Susan’s is perfect. The phone rings and it is one of Ben’s friends asking him to a football match on Saturday 14th! Ben is thrilled as it is the biggest game of the year. He has forgotten about the wedding, and is not prepared to miss this match. He suggests they re-affirm their vows in the club car park. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2783) "Roger and Abi never stop kissing and it is ruining the family breakfast. Susan covers them up with a tea towel, Ben hits them over the head with the paper. Roger says it is alright as they are engaged to be married and they have named the day, it’s Saturday. Not sure which Saturday! Ben’s DVD boxed set of Nazi’s in Colour has arrived. He is settling down for hours of pleasure when Janey comes in and asks for his advice on schooling for Kenzo. Roger and Abi are still kissing which leaves Susan wanting to know if they were ever that passionate. Susan says their big day was crap, she decides they should re new their vows. The thought of having to say they love each other in front of people is too much for Ben to cope with. He thinks it is pointless. When Susan starts to throw away sexy outfits Ben has to agree and then he rushes off to watch his DVD’s rather than make love with Susan. Alfie joins him on the very edge of the sofa bed. The next morning, Janey goes to the vestry after morning service to approach the vicar about Kenzo’s schooling. When Susan comes down Alfie and Ben are on the sofa bed together asleep! Janey returns and is upset the vicar has come on to her and Ben and Susan tell her and Michael they are renewing their wedding vows on Saturday the 14th. Alfie apologises to Ben about being asleep on the sofa, Ben wants to know why Alfie had no clothes on. Michael is given the job of finding their old friends to ask them to come to the ceremony. Susan has dug out their old wedding outfits. Ben tries his on only to find it is a little tight whereas Susan’s is perfect. The phone rings and it is one of Ben’s friends asking him to a football match on Saturday 14th! Ben is thrilled as it is the biggest game of the year. He has forgotten about the wedding, and is not prepared to miss this match. He suggests they re-affirm their vows in the club car park. Ben is left baby sitting while Janey and Susan go off to see the Vicar. Susan is vitriolic about Ben but still wants him to arrange the renewal of vows. Ben and Kenzo have a heart to heart about women being difficult to live with as their brains are smaller than men’s. Janey is about to ditch the Vicar but Susan has put him off going out with her, and he offers her a place for Kenzo at the school. Ben and Susan have a meeting to decide on the big day. There are no friends at the ceremony because Michael couldn’t find any, they are all Polish workmen from the internet. They do not speak English. Susan has written a huge speech and Ben’s is on a tiny post it. Susan flees upstairs and Ben talks to her through the bathroom door, and says everything he should have written down. She comes out and insists he says it all again at the ceremony." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2998) "Susan is determined to seduce Ben but he is simply not in the mood! The next morning finds Susan really grumpy. Janey is sending sexy photos to her boyfriend Peter from her mobile to keep her relationship fresh. Susan realises her mobile is very old and decides to break it so she can buy a new one. An old patient of Ben’s (Henry) comes in for treatment and whilst in the dental chair, in the middle of telling Ben he is about to leave his wife who he feels at the age of 42 is getting too old for him, and that he is having an affair with a much younger women, Henry dies! Ben has just realised when Roger bursts in and becomes in a panic when Ben wants him to move the body. A dead body in a dental chair is not good for business! Ben threatens Roger and whilst trying to move the body Ben finds a pair of sexy panties on Henry which he hides in his trouser pocket. Janey introduces Peter to the family and Susan takes their picture with her new mobile. Ben and Roger are late back, Roger is scrubbing and scrubbing his hands to get rid of the guilt. Ben tells Roger not to tell Abi, or Susan about the dead man cheating on his wife. Susan tries again to seduce Ben but he is still not in the mood. When Susan questions him he acts guilty, and she knows he is lying about something. Celia, Henry’s wife comes to the house to talk to Ben about Henry. It is apparent that Henry has been using Ben as a golf alibi for the last ten years. Ben is just shutting the door on her when Susan comes into the hall. Ben tries to pass her off as a dental receptionist and again Susan accuses him of lying. Abi thinks Roger is acting strange too, they both decide they need to freshen things up a bit and that Roger and Ben may be seeing other people. Susan takes a picture of her naked breasts and sends it to Ben! Roger is still convinced he will be sent to prison for moving the body, when Stacey arrives in the dental surgery…she is Henry’s girlfriend and she wanted to see where Henry died. Ben is trying to console her when Celia arrives. Ben tells Celia that Stacey is his wife. Celia asks Ben to give the eulogy at Henry’s funeral. She is just kissing Ben when Susan arrives, and Ben tries to pass both women off as future receptionists. Susan had come to see if he got the picture of her breasts, but he hadn’t. Janey has broken up with Peter because someone had sent a picture of naked breasts to his mobile. Susan realises that she has sent the picture of her breasts from Janey’s identical phone to Peter by mistake. Ben is now questioned by Susan because he is acting strangely, still lying and all dressed up in his best suit. So when Susan finds the frilly pants in his trouser pocket she races to the door. Peter is there and tries to chat Susan up as he liked the picture she sent him so much. Dismissing him, Susan then goes to the surgery and bullies Roger until he tells her where Ben is. Susan bursts into Henry’s funeral and all hell breaks loose." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2998) "Susan is determined to seduce Ben but he is simply not in the mood! The next morning finds Susan really grumpy. Janey is sending sexy photos to her boyfriend Peter from her mobile to keep her relationship fresh. Susan realises her mobile is very old and decides to break it so she can buy a new one. An old patient of Ben’s (Henry) comes in for treatment and whilst in the dental chair, in the middle of telling Ben he is about to leave his wife who he feels at the age of 42 is getting too old for him, and that he is having an affair with a much younger women, Henry dies! Ben has just realised when Roger bursts in and becomes in a panic when Ben wants him to move the body. A dead body in a dental chair is not good for business! Ben threatens Roger and whilst trying to move the body Ben finds a pair of sexy panties on Henry which he hides in his trouser pocket. 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Roger is still convinced he will be sent to prison for moving the body, when Stacey arrives in the dental surgery…she is Henry’s girlfriend and she wanted to see where Henry died. Ben is trying to console her when Celia arrives. Ben tells Celia that Stacey is his wife. Celia asks Ben to give the eulogy at Henry’s funeral. She is just kissing Ben when Susan arrives, and Ben tries to pass both women off as future receptionists. Susan had come to see if he got the picture of her breasts, but he hadn’t. Janey has broken up with Peter because someone had sent a picture of naked breasts to his mobile. Susan realises that she has sent the picture of her breasts from Janey’s identical phone to Peter by mistake. Ben is now questioned by Susan because he is acting strangely, still lying and all dressed up in his best suit. So when Susan finds the frilly pants in his trouser pocket she races to the door. Peter is there and tries to chat Susan up as he liked the picture she sent him so much. Dismissing him, Susan then goes to the surgery and bullies Roger until he tells her where Ben is. Susan bursts into Henry’s funeral and all hell breaks loose." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3278) "Susan tells Ben they are having dinner with the Morton’s at eight. They have something to talk to them about, but Ben doesn’t want to go. (Titles) Mark, Kenzo’s father, turns up as Ben and Susan leave. Janey is shocked to see him and Mark is shocked no-one knows who he is. Susan rushes back in realising who Mark is, followed by Ben. Mark wants to be more involved in Kenzo’s life. Janey asks Susan if she should let Mark see Kenzo. Susan thinks it would be good for him to have a charming man in his life and wants to know what Janey did to screw things up. Roger chases behind Abi, who is upset with him. Abi has dreamt that Roger cheated on her. At dinner the Morton’s explain to Ben and Susan that they have been experiencing some difficulties starting a family and would like them both to consider the possibility of Ben being their sperm donor. Ben is showing off in front of the mirror. Susan wants to know if they are going to discus the issue, but Ben feels it’s his decision to make and reassures Susan she is no less of a woman now she is no longer having children. Janey is pacing the room waiting for Mark to bring Kenzo home. Ben and Susan arrive at the clinic so he can donate his sperm. Kent recognises Ben, they went to university together. Kent Shows Ben and Susan in, but has to leave. Roger wants to know why Abi can’t realise it was only a dream and that he didn’t really cheat on her. Ben gets Susan attention so she can pass him a helpful magazine. Mark brings Kenzo home and asks when ‘we’ can see Kenzo again. Janey is angry to find out Mark has been married for 2 years, Mark and Linda thought she knew. Things are only made worst when Kenzo calls Linda his ‘new Mummy’. Janey wants to know if she is really that easy to replace, Susan informs her, yes she is. Janey can’t decide whether she should let Mark see Kenzo again, Susan tells her she has to do what’s best for Kenzo. Ben complicates things by tell Janey that he is ‘proud’ of her. Mark calls and Janey lies, telling him Kenzo is unwell. Abi had another dream, this time involving herself and Orlando Bloom. Everything is okay between Roger and herself. Ben’s sperm is lazy. Ben doesn’t believe it, so Kent shows him a sample. Susan finds it all very amusing. Ben will handle telling the Morton’s. Susan is making fun of Ben. Ben has called the Morton’s and arranged another dinner, but tells Susan she needn’t go, but she wouldn’t miss it for the world. Kenzo is full of questions and wants to know when he’s going to see his Dad again. Susan thought it was planned for that day and tells Janey that she has to do what’s best for Kenzo, Janey know but reiterates to Kenzo that he only has one Mum. Mark comes to pick Kenzo up as Ben and Susan are leaving for the restaurant. At the restaurant Ben is avoiding the subject, so Susan tells the Morton’s they have to decline their very complimentary offer as Ben would be too dedicated to his offspring. Kenzo tells Janey about his trip to the park with Mark and Linda. Linda wouldn’t let Kenzo have ice cream as she only eats healthy food. Susan tells Ben how she defines herself as a woman now. Ben gets Amorous. Janey and Kenzo are eating ice cream in the kitchen." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3278) "Susan tells Ben they are having dinner with the Morton’s at eight. They have something to talk to them about, but Ben doesn’t want to go. (Titles) Mark, Kenzo’s father, turns up as Ben and Susan leave. Janey is shocked to see him and Mark is shocked no-one knows who he is. Susan rushes back in realising who Mark is, followed by Ben. Mark wants to be more involved in Kenzo’s life. Janey asks Susan if she should let Mark see Kenzo. Susan thinks it would be good for him to have a charming man in his life and wants to know what Janey did to screw things up. Roger chases behind Abi, who is upset with him. Abi has dreamt that Roger cheated on her. At dinner the Morton’s explain to Ben and Susan that they have been experiencing some difficulties starting a family and would like them both to consider the possibility of Ben being their sperm donor. Ben is showing off in front of the mirror. Susan wants to know if they are going to discus the issue, but Ben feels it’s his decision to make and reassures Susan she is no less of a woman now she is no longer having children. Janey is pacing the room waiting for Mark to bring Kenzo home. Ben and Susan arrive at the clinic so he can donate his sperm. Kent recognises Ben, they went to university together. Kent Shows Ben and Susan in, but has to leave. Roger wants to know why Abi can’t realise it was only a dream and that he didn’t really cheat on her. Ben gets Susan attention so she can pass him a helpful magazine. Mark brings Kenzo home and asks when ‘we’ can see Kenzo again. Janey is angry to find out Mark has been married for 2 years, Mark and Linda thought she knew. Things are only made worst when Kenzo calls Linda his ‘new Mummy’. Janey wants to know if she is really that easy to replace, Susan informs her, yes she is. Janey can’t decide whether she should let Mark see Kenzo again, Susan tells her she has to do what’s best for Kenzo. Ben complicates things by tell Janey that he is ‘proud’ of her. Mark calls and Janey lies, telling him Kenzo is unwell. Abi had another dream, this time involving herself and Orlando Bloom. Everything is okay between Roger and herself. Ben’s sperm is lazy. Ben doesn’t believe it, so Kent shows him a sample. Susan finds it all very amusing. Ben will handle telling the Morton’s. Susan is making fun of Ben. Ben has called the Morton’s and arranged another dinner, but tells Susan she needn’t go, but she wouldn’t miss it for the world. Kenzo is full of questions and wants to know when he’s going to see his Dad again. Susan thought it was planned for that day and tells Janey that she has to do what’s best for Kenzo, Janey know but reiterates to Kenzo that he only has one Mum. Mark comes to pick Kenzo up as Ben and Susan are leaving for the restaurant. At the restaurant Ben is avoiding the subject, so Susan tells the Morton’s they have to decline their very complimentary offer as Ben would be too dedicated to his offspring. Kenzo tells Janey about his trip to the park with Mark and Linda. Linda wouldn’t let Kenzo have ice cream as she only eats healthy food. Susan tells Ben how she defines herself as a woman now. Ben gets Amorous. Janey and Kenzo are eating ice cream in the kitchen." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2137) "Christmas decorations are being put up once again in the Harper house, much to Ben’s chagrin – he wants to spend the holiday abroad! To avoid spending Christmas with family, he feigns illness and works hard to raise his temperature, insisting he is not well. Susan decides they should let the doctor check him over. Meanwhile, Alfie has found two casks of his family’s special recipe home brew and lets Michael take a tentative sip, and Janey is in despair as her little son Kenzo won’t reveal what he wants for Christmas, although she has plans to buy him the latest must-have toy – a Macroman. Ben has been referred to hospital for tests and is in seventh heaven in his private Christmas-free room – that is, until he is told he has forgotten to pay his medical insurance and consequently finds himself in an ordinary public ward where he will be kept for a further couple of days. Susan decides to get revenge on Ben wanting to miss Christmas by exaggerating his symptoms to the registrar, who agrees to even more tests, thereby prolonging his stay. At home, Susan tries to conceal a smirk as she puts the family in the picture over Ben’s prolonged absence. Michael tells Alfie that they can therefore have a party at home, using the homebrew, and Alfie suggests they go to the hospital to find some young women to invite! Back in his ward, Ben is paid a visit by the local vicar and his choir with their rendition of a Christmas carol, which infuriates him even more – especially as he is expected to make a donation to charity, which he begrudgingly does to get rid of the unwanted visitors. However, there is upsetting news when Ben’s tests reveal he needs an angioplasty. The family all come to visit him before the procedure but Michael leaves behind his bag containing a flask of the potent homebrew which a thirsty Ben devours. Consequently, when he is given his local anaesthetic he dreams vividly of being at the gates of heaven and that Susan is God. She makes him re-assess his life and he is given a glimpse of what a happy Christmas at home could be like if only he were not so difficult!" 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["_tax_order_16"]=> string(1) "0" ["episode_name"]=> string(42) "The Heart of Christmas (Hour Long Special)" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(178) "Hoping to avoid yet another awful family Christmas Ben pretends to be ill so Susan calls his bluff and insists on taking him to see a doctor, which results in hospital admission." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2137) "Christmas decorations are being put up once again in the Harper house, much to Ben’s chagrin – he wants to spend the holiday abroad! To avoid spending Christmas with family, he feigns illness and works hard to raise his temperature, insisting he is not well. Susan decides they should let the doctor check him over. Meanwhile, Alfie has found two casks of his family’s special recipe home brew and lets Michael take a tentative sip, and Janey is in despair as her little son Kenzo won’t reveal what he wants for Christmas, although she has plans to buy him the latest must-have toy – a Macroman. Ben has been referred to hospital for tests and is in seventh heaven in his private Christmas-free room – that is, until he is told he has forgotten to pay his medical insurance and consequently finds himself in an ordinary public ward where he will be kept for a further couple of days. Susan decides to get revenge on Ben wanting to miss Christmas by exaggerating his symptoms to the registrar, who agrees to even more tests, thereby prolonging his stay. At home, Susan tries to conceal a smirk as she puts the family in the picture over Ben’s prolonged absence. Michael tells Alfie that they can therefore have a party at home, using the homebrew, and Alfie suggests they go to the hospital to find some young women to invite! Back in his ward, Ben is paid a visit by the local vicar and his choir with their rendition of a Christmas carol, which infuriates him even more – especially as he is expected to make a donation to charity, which he begrudgingly does to get rid of the unwanted visitors. However, there is upsetting news when Ben’s tests reveal he needs an angioplasty. The family all come to visit him before the procedure but Michael leaves behind his bag containing a flask of the potent homebrew which a thirsty Ben devours. Consequently, when he is given his local anaesthetic he dreams vividly of being at the gates of heaven and that Susan is God. She makes him re-assess his life and he is given a glimpse of what a happy Christmas at home could be like if only he were not so difficult!" 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The Art of Being Susan" ["post_type"]=> string(7) "episode" ["slug"]=> string(29) "s06e10-the-art-of-being-susan" ["__type":protected]=> NULL ["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488555143:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_15"]=> string(1) "8" ["episode_name"]=> string(27) "08 - The Art of Being Susan" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(69) "With Ben away, Susan is invited to dinner by a wealthy art collector." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2228) "Grace is staying while Ben is away on a training course. Susan has a job at an Art gallery. There is a private viewing at the gallery and Susan has one ticket which Grace decides she will go to when she knows there are cocktails. Michael has been dumped by his girlfriend and Roger comes to collect Abi who is his new dental receptionist. It is the night of the viewing, Gracey meets a man. Lionel, and Susan mistakes a wealthy art dealer, James Garrett, for a courier! Susan is told by the gallery owner she has to give James anything he wants, absolutely anything. Roger is trying to find a way of asking Abi to marry him and even asks Alfie what he thinks. James rings Susan and asks her out to dinner, she accepts. Roger tells Michael he is going to propose, and asks Alfie again for any ideas on how to do it. Janey has a plan and suggests Roger practice on her. Abi comes downstairs and overhears, and unbeknownst to them rushes back upstairs. Susan is choosing a dress to wear to the dinner date, Janey and Grace give her advice on how to tell if James wants to sleep with her. In the middle of the restaurant, Susan tells James, and the entire restaurant, that she will not sleep with him. They end up having a good time, and realise they have been set up by Simone. James comes back to have coffee and they find a huge mess, it is Grace and her new man, James’ father. Susan and James are very disappointed in their parents and give them a good telling off. Abi is very upset with Roger and he has no idea why . He is still determined to propose. Grace has another ‘friend’ Martin in the house when Lionel arrives with flowers for her, closely followed by James. There is a bit of an upset and James and his father storm out. Susan goes to the gallery and hands in her notice, before she is fired, telling Simone where she can stick her job! It turns out that James has been in and spent a fortune in the gallery! Susan has asked her mother to leave but relents, and Michael’s girlfriend makes a date with Alfie! Janey, Grace and Susan are having a drink when Abi bursts in and tells Janey just what she thinks of her. Roger arrives in the nick of time, and finally manages to propose to Abi." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2228) "Grace is staying while Ben is away on a training course. Susan has a job at an Art gallery. There is a private viewing at the gallery and Susan has one ticket which Grace decides she will go to when she knows there are cocktails. Michael has been dumped by his girlfriend and Roger comes to collect Abi who is his new dental receptionist. It is the night of the viewing, Gracey meets a man. Lionel, and Susan mistakes a wealthy art dealer, James Garrett, for a courier! Susan is told by the gallery owner she has to give James anything he wants, absolutely anything. Roger is trying to find a way of asking Abi to marry him and even asks Alfie what he thinks. James rings Susan and asks her out to dinner, she accepts. Roger tells Michael he is going to propose, and asks Alfie again for any ideas on how to do it. Janey has a plan and suggests Roger practice on her. Abi comes downstairs and overhears, and unbeknownst to them rushes back upstairs. Susan is choosing a dress to wear to the dinner date, Janey and Grace give her advice on how to tell if James wants to sleep with her. In the middle of the restaurant, Susan tells James, and the entire restaurant, that she will not sleep with him. They end up having a good time, and realise they have been set up by Simone. James comes back to have coffee and they find a huge mess, it is Grace and her new man, James’ father. Susan and James are very disappointed in their parents and give them a good telling off. Abi is very upset with Roger and he has no idea why . He is still determined to propose. Grace has another ‘friend’ Martin in the house when Lionel arrives with flowers for her, closely followed by James. There is a bit of an upset and James and his father storm out. Susan goes to the gallery and hands in her notice, before she is fired, telling Simone where she can stick her job! It turns out that James has been in and spent a fortune in the gallery! Susan has asked her mother to leave but relents, and Michael’s girlfriend makes a date with Alfie! Janey, Grace and Susan are having a drink when Abi bursts in and tells Janey just what she thinks of her. Roger arrives in the nick of time, and finally manages to propose to Abi." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2061) "Janey has a headache from lack of sex. Abi has a new job as a Victorian hussy at the London Dungeon but refuses to get out of character when she is home. Ben tells Susan that their next door neighbour has sold their house and Ben has bought it as a surprise but Susan is not happy and thinks it is too big a job. Susan is hogging the duvet and giving Ben the cold shoulder, he appeases her by saying he wanted her to redesign the house, she is now very enthusiastic. Susan has found Michael a new girlfriend, Suzanne, but she is an exact replica of Susan. Ben is horrified but Michael doesn't seem to notice. Alfie is preoccupied by the anniversary of his dog's death. Ben tells Susan about the resemblance between her and Suzanne but Susan can't see it. Susan and Suzanne are planning colour schemes for the new house - they like all the same things. Roger wants to buy the house from Ben but he refuses to sell it to Roger. Ben shows Michael the similarity between Susan and Suzanne and Michael freaks out. Ben and Susan visit the new house only to discover is has been taken over by squatters, Terry and Kirsten. Later they call a policeman who can't do anything. Janey chases him. Alfie sings about his dog to Michael and Suzanne. Michael wants him to stay to avoid spending time alone with Suzanne but Alfie leaves them. Suzanne edges closer and closer to Michael who runs out on her. Ben visits the squatters but they have totally wrecked the house and refuse to leave. Ben then agrees to sell the house to Roger and talks him out of looking round the property. Ben, Roger and Alfie decide to break into the house to claim it back from the squatters. It is pitch black but when the lights go on, it has been transformed into a zen minimalism room. Terry and Kirsten appear and are really from a house makeover programme. Ben is pleased once he knows how much more the house is now worth but Roger reminds him that the money is actually his. Ben worries about Roger living next door to him but Roger sells the house for a huge profit." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2061) "Janey has a headache from lack of sex. Abi has a new job as a Victorian hussy at the London Dungeon but refuses to get out of character when she is home. Ben tells Susan that their next door neighbour has sold their house and Ben has bought it as a surprise but Susan is not happy and thinks it is too big a job. Susan is hogging the duvet and giving Ben the cold shoulder, he appeases her by saying he wanted her to redesign the house, she is now very enthusiastic. Susan has found Michael a new girlfriend, Suzanne, but she is an exact replica of Susan. Ben is horrified but Michael doesn't seem to notice. Alfie is preoccupied by the anniversary of his dog's death. Ben tells Susan about the resemblance between her and Suzanne but Susan can't see it. Susan and Suzanne are planning colour schemes for the new house - they like all the same things. Roger wants to buy the house from Ben but he refuses to sell it to Roger. Ben shows Michael the similarity between Susan and Suzanne and Michael freaks out. Ben and Susan visit the new house only to discover is has been taken over by squatters, Terry and Kirsten. Later they call a policeman who can't do anything. Janey chases him. Alfie sings about his dog to Michael and Suzanne. Michael wants him to stay to avoid spending time alone with Suzanne but Alfie leaves them. Suzanne edges closer and closer to Michael who runs out on her. Ben visits the squatters but they have totally wrecked the house and refuse to leave. Ben then agrees to sell the house to Roger and talks him out of looking round the property. Ben, Roger and Alfie decide to break into the house to claim it back from the squatters. It is pitch black but when the lights go on, it has been transformed into a zen minimalism room. Terry and Kirsten appear and are really from a house makeover programme. Ben is pleased once he knows how much more the house is now worth but Roger reminds him that the money is actually his. Ben worries about Roger living next door to him but Roger sells the house for a huge profit." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2004) "Alfie is sleepwalking and with the help of Ben ushered out of the house. Susan feels down, all her ‘babies’ are finally flying the nest. Michael is off to a military weekend and Janey is clearing out the loft so she doesn’t have to come back any more. Ben is thrilled to have the house to themselves. Abi is off to spend the weekend with Roger, to watch videos. Ben and Susan think Roger may be gay. Ben and Susan are struggling to find things to talk about when a stray dog comes in through the front door. Ben would like Susan to inform the police about the dog, but Susan wants to keep him. Alfie, who returns having been beaten up at an audition for Liam Gallagher’s turns out to be a bit of a dog whisperer! Ben’s pizza disappears from the oven and he blames the dog. Ben goes off to the pub and we see Michael taking the pizza upstairs to his regiment who are hiding out in the attic. Abi becomes convinced there may be truth in the rumour about Roger’s sexuality and Roger becomes very upset and slams out to go to Mykanos! Ben’s beers go missing from the fridge and he blames the dog again. Susan is looking for an original teddy bear, worth hundreds of pounds, and it seems Ben has mistakenly taken it to the charity shop. Roger returns and they make up. Roger has come to a momentous decision, Roger tells Abi he will kiss her at some stage over the weekend. Ben goes back to the charity shop and has to pay £350 to retrieve the teddy. Ben decides to incriminate the dog just to get him into trouble with Susan. Sergeant Wragg comes round looking for Michael who has gone missing with his regiment. Whilst Ben and Susan keep him occupied, we see the unit creep out of the front door. The dog has to be taken to the vet, and we are led to believe his life is in danger after eating the head of the Teddy . Ben and Susan are very upset The moment has finally arrived and Roger and Abi kiss. The dog is returned to his owners, but comes back to collect his blanket!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2004) "Alfie is sleepwalking and with the help of Ben ushered out of the house. Susan feels down, all her ‘babies’ are finally flying the nest. Michael is off to a military weekend and Janey is clearing out the loft so she doesn’t have to come back any more. Ben is thrilled to have the house to themselves. Abi is off to spend the weekend with Roger, to watch videos. Ben and Susan think Roger may be gay. Ben and Susan are struggling to find things to talk about when a stray dog comes in through the front door. Ben would like Susan to inform the police about the dog, but Susan wants to keep him. Alfie, who returns having been beaten up at an audition for Liam Gallagher’s turns out to be a bit of a dog whisperer! Ben’s pizza disappears from the oven and he blames the dog. Ben goes off to the pub and we see Michael taking the pizza upstairs to his regiment who are hiding out in the attic. Abi becomes convinced there may be truth in the rumour about Roger’s sexuality and Roger becomes very upset and slams out to go to Mykanos! Ben’s beers go missing from the fridge and he blames the dog again. Susan is looking for an original teddy bear, worth hundreds of pounds, and it seems Ben has mistakenly taken it to the charity shop. Roger returns and they make up. Roger has come to a momentous decision, Roger tells Abi he will kiss her at some stage over the weekend. Ben goes back to the charity shop and has to pay £350 to retrieve the teddy. Ben decides to incriminate the dog just to get him into trouble with Susan. Sergeant Wragg comes round looking for Michael who has gone missing with his regiment. Whilst Ben and Susan keep him occupied, we see the unit creep out of the front door. The dog has to be taken to the vet, and we are led to believe his life is in danger after eating the head of the Teddy . Ben and Susan are very upset The moment has finally arrived and Roger and Abi kiss. The dog is returned to his owners, but comes back to collect his blanket!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1434) "The boiler has broken so Susan, Janey and Kenzo are wrapped up against the cold. Ben returns from the Boat Show with a model and tells Susan he wants a boat but Susan tells him they can't afford it because Michael will be going to university, the boiler has broken and Janey wants to send Kenzo to a private school. Ben is jealous of one of his patients who has the boat that Ben wants. Roger shows off his new expensive watch and says he has made lots of money through "Pyramus". Ben takes a reluctant Susan to a Pyramus meeting where they meet Roger and Abi. Against their initial instincts, they get drawn into Pyramus and return home loaded with products to sell on. Michael tells them it is a scam but they are determined to prove him wrong. Later, Roger turns up in a brand new sports car so Ben and Susan decide to increase their Pyramus order. The house is packed with Pyramus boxes and Michael tells them not to go running to him when it all goes wrong. After a long days selling, Ben and Susan have only made one sale and Ben has been bitten by a dog. They give in and ask Michael for help. Under his advice they organise a Pyramus party but find it difficult to sell anything with the people they attract. Roger and Abi turn up so Ben uses Roger as a real life example of Pyramus success but Roger tells him that he was left the money for the car in an Aunt's will. Ben and Susan burn Ben's model boat for heat." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1434) "The boiler has broken so Susan, Janey and Kenzo are wrapped up against the cold. Ben returns from the Boat Show with a model and tells Susan he wants a boat but Susan tells him they can't afford it because Michael will be going to university, the boiler has broken and Janey wants to send Kenzo to a private school. Ben is jealous of one of his patients who has the boat that Ben wants. Roger shows off his new expensive watch and says he has made lots of money through "Pyramus". Ben takes a reluctant Susan to a Pyramus meeting where they meet Roger and Abi. Against their initial instincts, they get drawn into Pyramus and return home loaded with products to sell on. Michael tells them it is a scam but they are determined to prove him wrong. Later, Roger turns up in a brand new sports car so Ben and Susan decide to increase their Pyramus order. The house is packed with Pyramus boxes and Michael tells them not to go running to him when it all goes wrong. After a long days selling, Ben and Susan have only made one sale and Ben has been bitten by a dog. They give in and ask Michael for help. Under his advice they organise a Pyramus party but find it difficult to sell anything with the people they attract. Roger and Abi turn up so Ben uses Roger as a real life example of Pyramus success but Roger tells him that he was left the money for the car in an Aunt's will. Ben and Susan burn Ben's model boat for heat." 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Michael gets involved in a money making scheme." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2336) "Janey has lost a filling and she wants to go to Ben to fix it. She didn’t realise that Ben had already been away for a week! Michael is receiving mail for a Mr and Mrs Greyling. Susan’s mum Grace has come to stay while Ben is away. Roger is put out that Ben has a new locum, but Abi is infatuated! Janey wants the new locum to do her filling and not Roger. Michael has a scheme and wants Alfie's help. He has sold their address to a family trying to get their son into a local school. Susan has a mother and daughter chat with Janey and finds out that Janey has a new love interest, it is Ben’s new locum Tony Bassett. Tony Bassett's wife arrives on the doorstep to confide in Susan she is worried about him. She thinks he is having one of his affairs again! Susan introduces Janey to Tony’s wife and when she leaves Janey promises she will end it. She had no idea he was a married man. We hear Michael negotiating with Mr Greyling, offering to employ another boy to sit the entrance exam. Susan tries to have a Mother/Son chat with Michael but to no avail and Grace helps herself to Janey’s champagne, a gift from Tony. Janey tried to finish the relationship but fell under Tony’s charm yet again so Susan decides to take matters into her own hands and goes to the surgery to confront him. Michael negotiates a deal with a boy, Russell, who is to take the entrance exam for Oscar Greyling. He proves to be a tough negotiator and gets the better of Michael. Susan fares no better with Tony, he is a complete charmer and Susan falls under his spell too! Tony’s wife arrives to tell Susan she has found out her husband is definitely having an affair and wonders if Susan knows who it is. Tony has moved out this time, the relationship is serious and he wants to start a new life with whoever it is. The headmistress calls Michael to make an arrangement to visit Oscar Greyling and his parents in their home environment. He asks the family to help him by playing the part of the Greyling’s when the headmistress arrives. The interview goes really well until Susan returns and wonders what is going on. Even more flowers and bottles have arrived for Janey from Tony. Susan has a plan to get rid of him. They ask him round for drinks and show him how terrible living with Janey in the family home would be." 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Michael gets involved in a money making scheme." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2336) "Janey has lost a filling and she wants to go to Ben to fix it. She didn’t realise that Ben had already been away for a week! Michael is receiving mail for a Mr and Mrs Greyling. Susan’s mum Grace has come to stay while Ben is away. Roger is put out that Ben has a new locum, but Abi is infatuated! Janey wants the new locum to do her filling and not Roger. Michael has a scheme and wants Alfie's help. He has sold their address to a family trying to get their son into a local school. Susan has a mother and daughter chat with Janey and finds out that Janey has a new love interest, it is Ben’s new locum Tony Bassett. Tony Bassett's wife arrives on the doorstep to confide in Susan she is worried about him. She thinks he is having one of his affairs again! Susan introduces Janey to Tony’s wife and when she leaves Janey promises she will end it. She had no idea he was a married man. We hear Michael negotiating with Mr Greyling, offering to employ another boy to sit the entrance exam. Susan tries to have a Mother/Son chat with Michael but to no avail and Grace helps herself to Janey’s champagne, a gift from Tony. Janey tried to finish the relationship but fell under Tony’s charm yet again so Susan decides to take matters into her own hands and goes to the surgery to confront him. Michael negotiates a deal with a boy, Russell, who is to take the entrance exam for Oscar Greyling. He proves to be a tough negotiator and gets the better of Michael. Susan fares no better with Tony, he is a complete charmer and Susan falls under his spell too! Tony’s wife arrives to tell Susan she has found out her husband is definitely having an affair and wonders if Susan knows who it is. Tony has moved out this time, the relationship is serious and he wants to start a new life with whoever it is. The headmistress calls Michael to make an arrangement to visit Oscar Greyling and his parents in their home environment. He asks the family to help him by playing the part of the Greyling’s when the headmistress arrives. The interview goes really well until Susan returns and wonders what is going on. Even more flowers and bottles have arrived for Janey from Tony. Susan has a plan to get rid of him. They ask him round for drinks and show him how terrible living with Janey in the family home would be." 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An old friend of Susan's comes to visit, and Janey starts dating her son." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1980) "Susan has tea with Hilary Jessop who boasts about the success of her family. Hilary has joined Susan on the fund raising committee at Kenzo's nursery and Susan is less than happy. Ben returns home ranting about a cyclist who clipped his car. Abi and Roger are off to a food demonstration by Gordon Ramsey. Hilary's son Dominic comes to pick her up. Although Janey hated him when they were young and used to play Doctors and Nurses, she takes a fancy to him but he doesn't believe in sex before marriage. Hilary invites herself over for dinner. Michael and Alfie encourage Ben to call the local radio to complain about cyclists. Susan decides to make a nude calendar to raise money using local businessmen. Janey says she knows the perfect photographer. Ben is invited onto the local radio but shocks the DJ with his views on cyclists. Susan is practising cooking the food for the dinner party but burns it all so Roger and Abi agree to help out. The house is being besieged with irate cyclists. Janey has prepared the models and Michael is looking forward to photographing them. Ben refuses to apologise to the cyclists. Michael discovers the models are male. Susan wants Hilary to think their lives are perfect. Hilary and her husband Richard arrive. Susan checks on the chefs and Abi has started swearing like Gordon Ramsey. At the pub, Dominic tells Janey he has intimacy issues from a game of Doctors and Nurses. Back at the dinner party, Alfie sings a charity song for Kenzo's school. Ben rants about cyclists – Richard was the cyclist who scratched his car! Michael walks past with 2 naked men and Ben slams Richard's face into the pavlova. Susan's calendars arrive but you can see everything in the mirrors. Ben leaves for a TV interview and Susan tells him he is ruining his family's lives. On TV Ben does a u turn and says he loves cyclists who then all leave from besieging the house. Hilary arrives and tells Susan she wished she had her perfect life." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1973) "Susan has found her bliss spot, in a book by her favourite author. It’s a book on lifestyles. Dr Buck, the American author is coming over to talk to Susan’s book club and staying at the Harper’s. Michael is off to a museum with the school, and Ben’s application has been turned down by yet another expensive Golf Club. Alfie has discovered the effects of caffeine. Ben fits a wealthy business man, Hoxton-Jones, in for an appointment, and tells him he is finding life a struggle. Hoxton-Jones tells him how to improve his lot. He suggests Ben join his society, the Brotherhood of the Cockerel. He explains how to progress from a Chick to the Big Cock. Roger and Abi flirt, and Roger starts to woo her speaking Welsh, it seems to be working. The author’s arrival is imminent as Ben returns with a Brotherhood box of necessary items for his initiation. Buck arrives and Susan is besotted. Dr Buck analyses Ben and his Brotherhood, and flirts with Susan. Ben thinks Dr Buck is a charlatan, Susan is still besotted. Ben tells her he has heard Dr Buck shouting about his divorce. It would appear he is not so nice after all. Michael brings his attractive but older lecturer home from the school trip and impresses her with his archaeological collection. Alfie helps Ben to practice for the initiation by teaching him to walk and squawk like a cockerel. We see subtitles as Roger continues to woo Abi in Welsh. Susan and Buck leave for the book club. Michael’s lecturer finds out he has been planting his artifacts from his school display case in the back garden and she stalks out. We see the last part of the initiation ceremony, Hatchling Harper swears the oath of allegiance. Ben is admitted to the fraternity, the members strip off and it turns into a gay disco party. Susan’s dreams are shattered when Dr Buck makes a pass at her. Ben arrives and decides to assert his masculinity. Ben manages to throw himself out of the bedroom window." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1973) "Susan has found her bliss spot, in a book by her favourite author. It’s a book on lifestyles. Dr Buck, the American author is coming over to talk to Susan’s book club and staying at the Harper’s. Michael is off to a museum with the school, and Ben’s application has been turned down by yet another expensive Golf Club. Alfie has discovered the effects of caffeine. Ben fits a wealthy business man, Hoxton-Jones, in for an appointment, and tells him he is finding life a struggle. Hoxton-Jones tells him how to improve his lot. He suggests Ben join his society, the Brotherhood of the Cockerel. He explains how to progress from a Chick to the Big Cock. Roger and Abi flirt, and Roger starts to woo her speaking Welsh, it seems to be working. The author’s arrival is imminent as Ben returns with a Brotherhood box of necessary items for his initiation. Buck arrives and Susan is besotted. Dr Buck analyses Ben and his Brotherhood, and flirts with Susan. Ben thinks Dr Buck is a charlatan, Susan is still besotted. Ben tells her he has heard Dr Buck shouting about his divorce. It would appear he is not so nice after all. Michael brings his attractive but older lecturer home from the school trip and impresses her with his archaeological collection. Alfie helps Ben to practice for the initiation by teaching him to walk and squawk like a cockerel. We see subtitles as Roger continues to woo Abi in Welsh. Susan and Buck leave for the book club. Michael’s lecturer finds out he has been planting his artifacts from his school display case in the back garden and she stalks out. We see the last part of the initiation ceremony, Hatchling Harper swears the oath of allegiance. Ben is admitted to the fraternity, the members strip off and it turns into a gay disco party. Susan’s dreams are shattered when Dr Buck makes a pass at her. Ben arrives and decides to assert his masculinity. Ben manages to throw himself out of the bedroom window." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2850) "Ben is in scrooge mood. When he arrives home he finds Susan interviewing clowns for Kenzos birthday party on Christmas Eve. Susan is determined he will have a big party because she forgot Janey’s third birthday and feels guilty. Much to Ben’s horror Susan’s mother is staying for Christmas. Ben goes on a present hunt and finds a £1,200 ring which Susan has obviously bought for him. Michael has a job as a Christmas postman, and Ben goes to him for advice as he has only bought her an ironing cover so far. Grace has a toy boy and has asked him to Christmas lunch. Grace also has a drink problem. Susan asks Janey to bring Kenzos father to the party. Abi has a job in the make up department for a couple of weeks in the local department store. A friend of Nick’s, Alfie Butts arrives unexpectedly, because Nick has rented him his room! Susan is delighted and asks him to stay for Christmas. Ben is reduced to asking Grace what to get Susan for Christmas, she suggests a divorce. Susan lets it drop that what she really wants is a video camera so she can record Kenzo’s party. Ben decides he can save money on Shingles the clown for the party, by using Roger instead. Ben doesn’t think Susan will notice. At the department store Abi gives Robert a facial in exchange for her staff discount card. Ben arrives home with a burnt face having bought the video camera, only to discover Grace has also bought one for Susan. Ben now turns to Alfie for advice for Susan’s present. Alfie suggests a first edition. Mrs Dalloway. The day of the party arrives and Shingles hasn’t. Ben returns with the first edition. Roger is ready to go on, with Abi as his assistant, but Roger gets stage fright and takes to the bottle. To add to Susan’s confusion, Kenzo’s father arrives, swiftly followed by another father for Kenzo and then another! Susan is now desperate for the clown to arrive, while Ben and Abi try and persuade Roger to go on. Meanwhile he sends Alfie in to sing to the children with his guitar. Michael performs D and A tests on the three fathers, to find out who is the real father. Roger is now very drunk in the kitchen and Susan comes in to see what the commotion is all about and Ben tells her that Shingles had to rush off. Roger passes out and Abi refuses to go on too. Susan gives Ben two minutes to produce a clown. In desperation, Ben comes out to entertain the kids as Shingles with Susan as his assistant. The children are not impressed, and then terrified when Roger falls through the door in his underwear. Michael’s DNA results are inconclusive. Present time arrives, Abi has bought Alfie a donkey instead of giving him the door key, the ring Ben found turns out to be for Grace’s toy-boy and Susan happily got her first edition and Ben got socks. And there we leave them in a powercut!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2850) "Ben is in scrooge mood. When he arrives home he finds Susan interviewing clowns for Kenzos birthday party on Christmas Eve. Susan is determined he will have a big party because she forgot Janey’s third birthday and feels guilty. Much to Ben’s horror Susan’s mother is staying for Christmas. Ben goes on a present hunt and finds a £1,200 ring which Susan has obviously bought for him. Michael has a job as a Christmas postman, and Ben goes to him for advice as he has only bought her an ironing cover so far. Grace has a toy boy and has asked him to Christmas lunch. Grace also has a drink problem. Susan asks Janey to bring Kenzos father to the party. Abi has a job in the make up department for a couple of weeks in the local department store. A friend of Nick’s, Alfie Butts arrives unexpectedly, because Nick has rented him his room! Susan is delighted and asks him to stay for Christmas. Ben is reduced to asking Grace what to get Susan for Christmas, she suggests a divorce. Susan lets it drop that what she really wants is a video camera so she can record Kenzo’s party. Ben decides he can save money on Shingles the clown for the party, by using Roger instead. Ben doesn’t think Susan will notice. At the department store Abi gives Robert a facial in exchange for her staff discount card. Ben arrives home with a burnt face having bought the video camera, only to discover Grace has also bought one for Susan. Ben now turns to Alfie for advice for Susan’s present. Alfie suggests a first edition. Mrs Dalloway. The day of the party arrives and Shingles hasn’t. Ben returns with the first edition. Roger is ready to go on, with Abi as his assistant, but Roger gets stage fright and takes to the bottle. To add to Susan’s confusion, Kenzo’s father arrives, swiftly followed by another father for Kenzo and then another! 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Ben has trouble accepting Ches as his future son-in-law, while Susan could not be more enthusiastic. Michael sells Janey's wedding gifts on Ebay, all while Nick is lost in the African Jungle." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3471) "Kris is appealing to his parents to send him £2,000 from Thailand. We see Ben rewinding the video and enjoying watching Kris in difficulties. Ben and Susan had both sent him the money. Ben takes down the Christmas decorations after lunch on Christmas day, and Janey phones to tell them she is getting married and bringing her fiancé, Ches, to see them. Ches is not quite what they were hoping for! Michael wants to keep his girlfriend Molly away from the wedding plans, to stop her getting ideas. Susan and Ben are horrified at Janey’s choice, and would like to call the wedding off. After a visit to Ches Chez, where Janey admits she was told by a pshycic she would meet the man of her dreams at a wedding, Susan doesn’t feel any better, but Ben does as Ches has now offered to pay for the imminent wedding which is to be held at his house in a few days! Ben is to make the Father of the Bride speech and is determined to say what he really feels. Ben and Ches go off bonding in one of Ches’s night clubs and Susan makes the guest list and is persuaded to add her mother. The in laws come to meet Ben and Susan, Edie is a miserable ‘old cow’ and Ches Senior is planning a divorce the minute his son Ches and Janey are married! Abi agrees to be a bridesmaid once she realizes that they are wearing leopard outfits. Janey tries to bribe Michael into wearing a page boy outfit, by saying she will tell Molly about the wedding but he finally refuses, he thinks the wedding will be such a disaster he decides to take Molly after all as it will probably put her off. We see Kris in Thailand, catching flies and eating them with his chopsticks. He tells Ben and Susan he is also running out of food. It is the day of the wedding, Roger arrives as the page boy and Grace arrives as vitriolic as ever. Janey comes down the stairs looking radiant. The wedding is all set in Ches’ ‘understated little’ living room. The guests arrive and Michael takes the presents away at the door, to give to Hubert. One of the bridesmaids fancies Roger which annoys Abi, Grace mistakes Ches senior for Ches, Susan and Edie are dressed in identical outfits and the photographer turns out to be more used to shooting porn. Ches arrives flanked by sex kittens and the registrar tries to marry Ben and Ches off together. Finally the wedding proceeds, as hurriedly as possible as the registrar has back to back weddings all day. The wedding photos are taken and the reception begins. Susan is slightly worse for wear and Ben and Ches finally bond about their age problems. Hubert has been set up by Michael in a guest bedroom to sell off all the presents on e-bay. Molly spends the whole time searching for Michael. Ben, much to everyone's relief, gives a lovely speech about Janey, and Susan, by now worse for wear herself, decides she would like to say something, topples into Ben who in turn topples into the cake. The disco starts, and Janey decides she has something to tell everyone. This has been the most wonderful day of her life, but she wants a divorce, she is going to marry the waiter! Finally, later that evening, Janey tells Ches she doesn’t need any money from him and Ches agrees he will now let Ben pay for the wedding! Susan now thinks she will be able to organise Janey’s next wedding. Kris is still demanding money, we pull out to reveal it is a set up in Michael’s bedroom. Michael is recording him! They decide to try for more money." 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"field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(13) "Alison Baxter" ["_additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(13) "Laura Harling" ["_additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(4) "Lucy" ["_additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_8_actor"]=> string(15) "John Hodgkinson" ["_additional_casts_8_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_8_character"]=> string(9) "Registrar" ["_additional_casts_8_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_9_actor"]=> string(13) "Michael Mears" ["_additional_casts_9_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_9_character"]=> string(19) "Nige (Photographer)" ["_additional_casts_9_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_10_actor"]=> string(19) "Peter Heppelthwaite" 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["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488556182:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_14"]=> string(2) "10" ["episode_name"]=> string(56) "15 - Glad Tidings We Bring (Hour Long Christmas Special)" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(234) "Ches, Janey's fiancé, visits the Harpers. Ben has trouble accepting Ches as his future son-in-law, while Susan could not be more enthusiastic. Michael sells Janey's wedding gifts on Ebay, all while Nick is lost in the African Jungle." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3471) "Kris is appealing to his parents to send him £2,000 from Thailand. We see Ben rewinding the video and enjoying watching Kris in difficulties. Ben and Susan had both sent him the money. Ben takes down the Christmas decorations after lunch on Christmas day, and Janey phones to tell them she is getting married and bringing her fiancé, Ches, to see them. Ches is not quite what they were hoping for! Michael wants to keep his girlfriend Molly away from the wedding plans, to stop her getting ideas. Susan and Ben are horrified at Janey’s choice, and would like to call the wedding off. After a visit to Ches Chez, where Janey admits she was told by a pshycic she would meet the man of her dreams at a wedding, Susan doesn’t feel any better, but Ben does as Ches has now offered to pay for the imminent wedding which is to be held at his house in a few days! Ben is to make the Father of the Bride speech and is determined to say what he really feels. Ben and Ches go off bonding in one of Ches’s night clubs and Susan makes the guest list and is persuaded to add her mother. The in laws come to meet Ben and Susan, Edie is a miserable ‘old cow’ and Ches Senior is planning a divorce the minute his son Ches and Janey are married! Abi agrees to be a bridesmaid once she realizes that they are wearing leopard outfits. Janey tries to bribe Michael into wearing a page boy outfit, by saying she will tell Molly about the wedding but he finally refuses, he thinks the wedding will be such a disaster he decides to take Molly after all as it will probably put her off. We see Kris in Thailand, catching flies and eating them with his chopsticks. He tells Ben and Susan he is also running out of food. It is the day of the wedding, Roger arrives as the page boy and Grace arrives as vitriolic as ever. Janey comes down the stairs looking radiant. The wedding is all set in Ches’ ‘understated little’ living room. The guests arrive and Michael takes the presents away at the door, to give to Hubert. One of the bridesmaids fancies Roger which annoys Abi, Grace mistakes Ches senior for Ches, Susan and Edie are dressed in identical outfits and the photographer turns out to be more used to shooting porn. Ches arrives flanked by sex kittens and the registrar tries to marry Ben and Ches off together. Finally the wedding proceeds, as hurriedly as possible as the registrar has back to back weddings all day. The wedding photos are taken and the reception begins. Susan is slightly worse for wear and Ben and Ches finally bond about their age problems. Hubert has been set up by Michael in a guest bedroom to sell off all the presents on e-bay. Molly spends the whole time searching for Michael. Ben, much to everyone's relief, gives a lovely speech about Janey, and Susan, by now worse for wear herself, decides she would like to say something, topples into Ben who in turn topples into the cake. The disco starts, and Janey decides she has something to tell everyone. This has been the most wonderful day of her life, but she wants a divorce, she is going to marry the waiter! Finally, later that evening, Janey tells Ches she doesn’t need any money from him and Ches agrees he will now let Ben pay for the wedding! Susan now thinks she will be able to organise Janey’s next wedding. Kris is still demanding money, we pull out to reveal it is a set up in Michael’s bedroom. Michael is recording him! They decide to try for more money." 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Going Dental" ["post_type"]=> string(7) "episode" ["slug"]=> string(19) "s05e14-going-dental" ["__type":protected]=> NULL ["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488492527:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_14"]=> string(2) "10" ["episode_name"]=> string(17) "14 - Going Dental" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(58) "Susan forsakes Ben's dental conference to write her novel." 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Ben’s business cards have arrived. 500 of them! Ben is going to a dental conference, to try and get a share in a Harley Street Practice owned by Geoffrey Dutton. Susan wants to stay home and write her book, and suggests Janey go in her place. Susan notices all Ben’s cards read Ben Hamper! Ben is pushed into taking Janey. Ben and Janey arrive at the hotel arguing, the receptionist mistakes them for a couple! Other guests overhear Ben saying he paid for Mrs Harper but brought her instead, by the time they go into the lift, other people are convinced they are a couple too. Abi tries to persuade Susan to go the the conference with her. The novel isn’t going well, and Abi has suggestions for improvement. Susan takes them on board. Janey is still complaining about the hotel, and Ben is determined she won’t embarrass him in front of Geoffrey Dutton. Roger arrives and is thrilled to see Ben! Janey refuses to wear a Mrs Harper label. She goes to change her room and moves into the best room they have, the Windsor suite, which is extremely expensive. Abi arrives, and also give the name Harper! Ben finally catches up with Geoffrey who wonders who Janey is. Ben starts to negotiate with Geoffrey, when Abi pitches up. She has brought his toothbrush! Roger has cancelled Abi’s room and only has one bed in his, he suggests she could commute. Writers block has set in back at home, and Michael and Hubert make fun of Susan. Geoffrey buys Ben a brandy, Ben tries to explain that Janey really is his daughter. Geoffrey is delighted, Ben has passed the first test. Ben gives in and tells him what he wants to hear, that Janey is his mistress. Ben goes to find Janey in their room, and discovers that she has moved out, he is literally thrown out. Back in reception, Ben can’t find Janey. The night porter can not use the computer! Ben can find out first thing in the morning. Susan decides to go and join Ben when Kenzo is dropped back, by Janey’s nanny, for her to look after. Ben has had to sleep in the phone box in reception. Janey is on the champagne at breakfast, and rumours are spreading fast about their relationship, Janey stomps out noisily when she finds that Ben has told Geoffrey that she is his mistress. Susan arrives carrying Kenzo and looking for Ben. Michael and Hubert decide to race up to the dental conference to join in the fun. Rumours are by now rife at the hotel. Susan finally tracks down Janey, who is having a massage. Janey tells Susan that Ben has asked her to pretend to be his mistress. Susan is livid. Geoffrey has by now worked out that Janey is his daughter, and Ben tries to persuade him he does have a mistress. He rushes off the get Abi, but Roger won’t let her. They have a tug of war. ‘Kitty’ has been entertaining Geoffrey, the job is in the bag! Until Geoffrey’s wife arrives and recognises her to be Susan, Ben’s wife. Ben ends up telling Geoffrey’s wife he has a mistress. Ben has to settle up, the bill is enormous, Hubert and Michael have gone to town!
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Ben’s business cards have arrived. 500 of them! Ben is going to a dental conference, to try and get a share in a Harley Street Practice owned by Geoffrey Dutton. Susan wants to stay home and write her book, and suggests Janey go in her place. Susan notices all Ben’s cards read Ben Hamper! Ben is pushed into taking Janey. Ben and Janey arrive at the hotel arguing, the receptionist mistakes them for a couple! Other guests overhear Ben saying he paid for Mrs Harper but brought her instead, by the time they go into the lift, other people are convinced they are a couple too. Abi tries to persuade Susan to go the the conference with her. The novel isn’t going well, and Abi has suggestions for improvement. Susan takes them on board. Janey is still complaining about the hotel, and Ben is determined she won’t embarrass him in front of Geoffrey Dutton. Roger arrives and is thrilled to see Ben! Janey refuses to wear a Mrs Harper label. She goes to change her room and moves into the best room they have, the Windsor suite, which is extremely expensive. Abi arrives, and also give the name Harper! Ben finally catches up with Geoffrey who wonders who Janey is. Ben starts to negotiate with Geoffrey, when Abi pitches up. She has brought his toothbrush! Roger has cancelled Abi’s room and only has one bed in his, he suggests she could commute. Writers block has set in back at home, and Michael and Hubert make fun of Susan. Geoffrey buys Ben a brandy, Ben tries to explain that Janey really is his daughter. Geoffrey is delighted, Ben has passed the first test. Ben gives in and tells him what he wants to hear, that Janey is his mistress. Ben goes to find Janey in their room, and discovers that she has moved out, he is literally thrown out. Back in reception, Ben can’t find Janey. The night porter can not use the computer! Ben can find out first thing in the morning. Susan decides to go and join Ben when Kenzo is dropped back, by Janey’s nanny, for her to look after. Ben has had to sleep in the phone box in reception. Janey is on the champagne at breakfast, and rumours are spreading fast about their relationship, Janey stomps out noisily when she finds that Ben has told Geoffrey that she is his mistress. Susan arrives carrying Kenzo and looking for Ben. Michael and Hubert decide to race up to the dental conference to join in the fun. Rumours are by now rife at the hotel. Susan finally tracks down Janey, who is having a massage. Janey tells Susan that Ben has asked her to pretend to be his mistress. Susan is livid. Geoffrey has by now worked out that Janey is his daughter, and Ben tries to persuade him he does have a mistress. He rushes off the get Abi, but Roger won’t let her. They have a tug of war. ‘Kitty’ has been entertaining Geoffrey, the job is in the bag! Until Geoffrey’s wife arrives and recognises her to be Susan, Ben’s wife. Ben ends up telling Geoffrey’s wife he has a mistress. Ben has to settle up, the bill is enormous, Hubert and Michael have gone to town!
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"post" ["_content":protected]=> NULL ["_permalink":protected]=> NULL ["_next":protected]=> array(0) { } ["_prev":protected]=> array(0) { } ["class"]=> string(77) "post-1096 episode type-episode status-publish hentry series_category-series-5" ["id"]=> int(1096) ["ID"]=> int(1096) ["post_author"]=> string(1) "2" ["post_content"]=> string(0) "" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 22:02:22" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["post_title"]=> string(25) "S05E13 - The Book of Love" ["post_type"]=> string(7) "episode" ["slug"]=> string(23) "s05e13-the-book-of-love" ["__type":protected]=> NULL ["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488405761:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_14"]=> string(2) "10" ["episode_name"]=> string(21) "13 - The Book of Love" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(85) "Susan starts attending a book club while Michael works for Roger, as a booking agent." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2751) "Ben has finished his book. Susan fancies a literary discussion, Ben doesn’t! The next morning Ben walks in and finds Susan sneakily giving Janey a cheque. Susan thinks Ben should give Janey a job and Janey accepts! Ben catches Abi and Michael impersonating him when the doorbell goes. It is the neighbour, Mr Griffin, wanting to ask Susan to join his book club, he is delighted when Ben says he is too busy to go!! They will be reading Cold Mountain. Susan needs to read the whole book before her Book club meeting on Friday. There is no time for sex. Ben says Mr Griffin just wants to get Susan alone. Abi is upset, she can’t get tickets for Cold Play. Michael just happens to have a couple which he is prepared to sell to Roger at an extortionate price. He considers the offer and realizes Abi is worth it. At the surgery, Janey is causing chaos with Baby Kenzo crying. Roger takes the baby who needs changing, so Ben leaves his root canal work and decides to do it with terrible consequences. Susan arrives at her book club, and appears to be the only member, apparently there were several last minute cancellations. Susan starts to discuss the book, but it becomes clear Mr Griffin has ideas other than discussing books! Soft music, bubbly and a sofa shuffle together with the fact that Mr Griffin didn’t even read the book sends Susan rushing home early. Ben is happily eating take away when Susan returns. She tells Ben she doesn’t feel right leaving Ben alone, and she won’t be going back. Ben thinks she was bored at the club! Susan tells him she was not bored and will go back after all. Susan confesses to Abi that Mr Griffin tried to seduce her. Roger tells Abi, he has got tickets for Cold Play, Abi is thrilled, but Roger panics when he finds out he has lost them. Mr Griffin comes to the door to apologise to Susan, and thinks Ben must have been told what happened. Ben is happy to pass the message on and says that Susan will be there later. Mr Griffin takes this to mean that Susan probably fancies him. Luckily, Michael seems to have two more tickets to sell to Roger, for even more money. Susan goes to the book club to prove to Ben she is out having fun. Janey wants Ben to baby sit, but he refuses. Abi manages to tell Ben that Mr Griffin is after Susan. Roger appears to have lost the tickets again, Michael seems to have yet more, Abi realizes and threatens Michael to give the tickets back. Janey asks Michael to baby sit, he says he will do it but only for a lot of money! When Mr Griffin ends up in his pants, Susan decides it is time to leave, as she opens the door Ben turns up and is about to punch Mr Griffin, but when they realize they both like reading Tom Clancy Ben joins the book club." 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Roger takes the baby who needs changing, so Ben leaves his root canal work and decides to do it with terrible consequences. Susan arrives at her book club, and appears to be the only member, apparently there were several last minute cancellations. Susan starts to discuss the book, but it becomes clear Mr Griffin has ideas other than discussing books! Soft music, bubbly and a sofa shuffle together with the fact that Mr Griffin didn’t even read the book sends Susan rushing home early. Ben is happily eating take away when Susan returns. She tells Ben she doesn’t feel right leaving Ben alone, and she won’t be going back. Ben thinks she was bored at the club! Susan tells him she was not bored and will go back after all. Susan confesses to Abi that Mr Griffin tried to seduce her. Roger tells Abi, he has got tickets for Cold Play, Abi is thrilled, but Roger panics when he finds out he has lost them. Mr Griffin comes to the door to apologise to Susan, and thinks Ben must have been told what happened. Ben is happy to pass the message on and says that Susan will be there later. Mr Griffin takes this to mean that Susan probably fancies him. Luckily, Michael seems to have two more tickets to sell to Roger, for even more money. Susan goes to the book club to prove to Ben she is out having fun. Janey wants Ben to baby sit, but he refuses. Abi manages to tell Ben that Mr Griffin is after Susan. Roger appears to have lost the tickets again, Michael seems to have yet more, Abi realizes and threatens Michael to give the tickets back. Janey asks Michael to baby sit, he says he will do it but only for a lot of money! When Mr Griffin ends up in his pants, Susan decides it is time to leave, as she opens the door Ben turns up and is about to punch Mr Griffin, but when they realize they both like reading Tom Clancy Ben joins the book club." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2181) "Ben and Roger are in the surgery. Roger can’t afford the rent increase. Ben suggests he move to a cheaper area. Michael is off to ‘tag’ a few bridges. Susan is suffering from boredom with her life. She needs to re-define herself as something other than wife and mother. Ben suggests Susan swaps her life with Janey’s and Susan thinks it’s a wonderful idea. Sunday morning dawns, and there is no coffee & croissants, Susan is off to swap with Janey. Janey arrives and wants the emergency money. Susan leaves. It dawns on Ben that Janey isn’t taking over Susan’s role at all, and he leaves for a hotel. Ben arrives to check in and realises how expensive it would be, and decides to stay check in somewhere else, the surgery! Janey lays down the rules at home for Michael and Abi. Janey will be Mother, Michael can be Kenzo and Abi the servant. Ben tries to tell Susan he is in a luxury hotel, but she knows he is actually in the surgery. Ben wants to call it off. At home the gas man comes, Janey goes to see him and says her husband always deals with the utilities. This gives Janey the idea to make up a fantasy husband. Ben, having slept on his dental chair, is disturbed when his first patient and new receptionist turn up. His patient leaves, and he fires his receptionist. Meanwhile, Janey’s humiliation with her fantasy husband and their relationship is starting to weigh heavily on her. Ben sets up his lad’s pad in the surgery. Susan can’t find anyone to go out with her and cooks a meal for 6 by mistake! They are both as lonely as each other. They need a first date. Ben discovers Roger is living upstairs, which is all the incentive he needs to go and see Susan. At home, Janey is hitting the bottle and cracking up. Ben and Susan re-visit the restaurant they first went to 27 years ago. Even the waiter is still there and he knows they are behaving just as they did on their first date. Michael rings them and says things are a bit weird at home. Ben and Susan reminisce about the first time they made love, only Susan’s memories are not the same as Ben’s. They arrive home to Janey going through a fantasy divorce." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2181) "Ben and Roger are in the surgery. Roger can’t afford the rent increase. Ben suggests he move to a cheaper area. Michael is off to ‘tag’ a few bridges. Susan is suffering from boredom with her life. She needs to re-define herself as something other than wife and mother. Ben suggests Susan swaps her life with Janey’s and Susan thinks it’s a wonderful idea. Sunday morning dawns, and there is no coffee & croissants, Susan is off to swap with Janey. Janey arrives and wants the emergency money. Susan leaves. It dawns on Ben that Janey isn’t taking over Susan’s role at all, and he leaves for a hotel. Ben arrives to check in and realises how expensive it would be, and decides to stay check in somewhere else, the surgery! Janey lays down the rules at home for Michael and Abi. Janey will be Mother, Michael can be Kenzo and Abi the servant. Ben tries to tell Susan he is in a luxury hotel, but she knows he is actually in the surgery. Ben wants to call it off. At home the gas man comes, Janey goes to see him and says her husband always deals with the utilities. This gives Janey the idea to make up a fantasy husband. Ben, having slept on his dental chair, is disturbed when his first patient and new receptionist turn up. His patient leaves, and he fires his receptionist. Meanwhile, Janey’s humiliation with her fantasy husband and their relationship is starting to weigh heavily on her. Ben sets up his lad’s pad in the surgery. Susan can’t find anyone to go out with her and cooks a meal for 6 by mistake! They are both as lonely as each other. They need a first date. Ben discovers Roger is living upstairs, which is all the incentive he needs to go and see Susan. At home, Janey is hitting the bottle and cracking up. Ben and Susan re-visit the restaurant they first went to 27 years ago. Even the waiter is still there and he knows they are behaving just as they did on their first date. Michael rings them and says things are a bit weird at home. Ben and Susan reminisce about the first time they made love, only Susan’s memories are not the same as Ben’s. They arrive home to Janey going through a fantasy divorce." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2796) "Susan is bored with her choice of career. She wants a change. Roger pops into Ben’s surgery and is ecstatic to discover Ben has a famous patient, Colin Judd. Ben hasn’t a clue who he is and decries actors in general and some of Colin’s parts in particular. Roger pops in to get his chest autographed and Ben finally realizes who Colin is. Much to Ben’s amazement, Colin is still prepared to return for more treatment, and he cancels his previous bookings to squeeze his ‘famous’ patient in. Michael has rented out the toilet facilities, to a local film crew, down the road, but when Abi says there was a strange man in the bathroom Michael passes him off as Ben! Michael is revising as Ben comes home and tells them all about his famous patient. Susan is a real fan. Susan has been sacked. She is now going to study hard to pass the exam to get her old job back so she can resign! Susan decides to swot at the kitchen table with Michael, when Ben wants his breakfast. Michael won’t move the books so Ben does it. He puts his back out. Susan gives Roger a call to tell him he will have to take Ben’s patients today, including Colin Judd. Ben has to spend the day on the sofa. Susan decides to swot up with Michael at the table, but manages to be a total distraction, whilst also refusing Ben any help. Roger comes round to gloat about his famous patient and tells Ben he has been taken out to lunch by Colin, where he sat at the next table to Jude Law and he did his teeth too! Colin also gave him two tickets to a studio party to which Janey promptly invites herself. Roger tells Ben he has Colin, Jude and also Kevin Spacey dropping in the next day. Ben is determined he is going to work the next day to reclaim his clients. As Roger leaves, more film crew members are queuing up to pay Michael to use the loo. The next day we see Michael wheel Ben into the surgery, strapped to a trolley. Susan is helping as the dental nurse. Colin decides to go up to Roger even though he caused chaos at the celebrity party. Susan goes off to help Colin and Ben falls to the floor. The next day, the fall has mended Ben’s back, but caused him to have a bad head. Colin arrives to see how Ben is and bring them a gift and explains about Roger and his glove puppets and that he would rather go back to Ben. Abi comes in with an article which says Colin’s breath stinks as said Ben Harper. Colin gets very upset and goes to leave, but decides he needs the toilet first, Michael charges him £50.00. Roger has lost all his celebrity patients, therefore Janey has lost all interest in Roger, Susan comes home elated, she passed her exam by cheating. The film crew are still filming in the area and a stunt man races through the lounge and flings himself out through the window." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2796) "Susan is bored with her choice of career. She wants a change. Roger pops into Ben’s surgery and is ecstatic to discover Ben has a famous patient, Colin Judd. Ben hasn’t a clue who he is and decries actors in general and some of Colin’s parts in particular. Roger pops in to get his chest autographed and Ben finally realizes who Colin is. Much to Ben’s amazement, Colin is still prepared to return for more treatment, and he cancels his previous bookings to squeeze his ‘famous’ patient in. Michael has rented out the toilet facilities, to a local film crew, down the road, but when Abi says there was a strange man in the bathroom Michael passes him off as Ben! Michael is revising as Ben comes home and tells them all about his famous patient. Susan is a real fan. Susan has been sacked. She is now going to study hard to pass the exam to get her old job back so she can resign! 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The next day we see Michael wheel Ben into the surgery, strapped to a trolley. Susan is helping as the dental nurse. Colin decides to go up to Roger even though he caused chaos at the celebrity party. Susan goes off to help Colin and Ben falls to the floor. The next day, the fall has mended Ben’s back, but caused him to have a bad head. Colin arrives to see how Ben is and bring them a gift and explains about Roger and his glove puppets and that he would rather go back to Ben. Abi comes in with an article which says Colin’s breath stinks as said Ben Harper. Colin gets very upset and goes to leave, but decides he needs the toilet first, Michael charges him £50.00. Roger has lost all his celebrity patients, therefore Janey has lost all interest in Roger, Susan comes home elated, she passed her exam by cheating. The film crew are still filming in the area and a stunt man races through the lounge and flings himself out through the window." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2696) "Susan is in a villa in Spain, and Ben is dressed as a matador, when she hears the fog horn again. She awakes from her dream to realize it is Ben’s snoring. Janey has started a personal shopping business, she has come to stay with Kenzo because her boiler has packed up and Susan is in a terrible mood because of Ben’s snoring. Abi is convinced they are on the road to divorce. To prove to Ben that he really does snore, Susan has taped him snoring, but he refuses to watch it, she forces him. Susan comes home with some home remedies for the snoring problem. It is that or he has to give up drink. We see Ben enter the bedroom in the snoring prevention kit but now Susan can’t sleep because of the noise of the oxygen mask, so Ben suggests she move and sleep on the sofa. Michael arrives home with a girlfriend, Molly, she trots off to the loo while he opens a bottle of wine and moves towards the sofa. It is dark and he starts kissing her arm, it turns out to be his Mum, Michael is mortified and Molly leaves. The next morning Ben awakes full of the joys of spring having had a wonderful night’s sleep. He has made breakfast for everyone! Because of her new shopping business, Janey has decided to give all Abi’s clothes away, and Michael has nothing to wear except an old, too small school uniform, because Janey has thrown all his clothes out too. Ben and Susan are both behaving very oddly. Much too happy. Abi knows it is because they are getting divorced. In the surgery, Roger is un - nerved because Ben is being so nice to him, Ben asks Rogers’ advice on how to have another night apart, as he had so enjoyed the last one. He tells him to pick a fight. Ben picks a fight and they both agree that they don’t want to sleep with each other anyway. Abi has now had to resort to wearing the cheese costume, she also manages to convince Michael and Janey that Ben and Susan are definitely heading for divorce, she also thinks it may be her fault. Michael is now wearing new clothes from Janey, and he decides to have a man to man talk with Ben. Ben starts to explain their problems and Michael thinks he is talking about their sex life. Abi who is now dressed by Janey, offers to move out because as she explains to Ben, the troubles are obviously all her fault. He accepts her offer to leave immediately. He also wants to know when Janey is leaving to go back to her flat now that her shopping business has gone into liquidation. Ben and Susan finally decide they need to sleep together again and as Abi enters and sees them kissing she decides she doesn’t need to go after all. Ben tries to re – enact Susan’s Spanish dream with not much effect." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2696) "Susan is in a villa in Spain, and Ben is dressed as a matador, when she hears the fog horn again. She awakes from her dream to realize it is Ben’s snoring. Janey has started a personal shopping business, she has come to stay with Kenzo because her boiler has packed up and Susan is in a terrible mood because of Ben’s snoring. Abi is convinced they are on the road to divorce. To prove to Ben that he really does snore, Susan has taped him snoring, but he refuses to watch it, she forces him. Susan comes home with some home remedies for the snoring problem. It is that or he has to give up drink. We see Ben enter the bedroom in the snoring prevention kit but now Susan can’t sleep because of the noise of the oxygen mask, so Ben suggests she move and sleep on the sofa. Michael arrives home with a girlfriend, Molly, she trots off to the loo while he opens a bottle of wine and moves towards the sofa. It is dark and he starts kissing her arm, it turns out to be his Mum, Michael is mortified and Molly leaves. The next morning Ben awakes full of the joys of spring having had a wonderful night’s sleep. He has made breakfast for everyone! Because of her new shopping business, Janey has decided to give all Abi’s clothes away, and Michael has nothing to wear except an old, too small school uniform, because Janey has thrown all his clothes out too. Ben and Susan are both behaving very oddly. Much too happy. Abi knows it is because they are getting divorced. In the surgery, Roger is un - nerved because Ben is being so nice to him, Ben asks Rogers’ advice on how to have another night apart, as he had so enjoyed the last one. He tells him to pick a fight. Ben picks a fight and they both agree that they don’t want to sleep with each other anyway. Abi has now had to resort to wearing the cheese costume, she also manages to convince Michael and Janey that Ben and Susan are definitely heading for divorce, she also thinks it may be her fault. Michael is now wearing new clothes from Janey, and he decides to have a man to man talk with Ben. Ben starts to explain their problems and Michael thinks he is talking about their sex life. Abi who is now dressed by Janey, offers to move out because as she explains to Ben, the troubles are obviously all her fault. He accepts her offer to leave immediately. He also wants to know when Janey is leaving to go back to her flat now that her shopping business has gone into liquidation. Ben and Susan finally decide they need to sleep together again and as Abi enters and sees them kissing she decides she doesn’t need to go after all. Ben tries to re – enact Susan’s Spanish dream with not much effect." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2310) "Susan is obsessed with watching Morse DVD’s. Ben is working on Mr Addis, who Ben wants to sign up for implants, and be Ben’s guinea pig. While under aesthetic Mr Addis confesses he killed his wife. Michael has a new girlfriend, who he wants to keep secret from Susan. Ben makes the mistake of telling Susan Mr Addis confessed to killing his wife and Susan now has a new obsession. She decides to investigate herself. Michael carries on trying to keep his girlfriend secret from Susan, and to keep her off his back, he suggests ways to help her investigation. Susan arrives dressed as a dental nurse at Ben’s surgery, while Ben is working on Mr Addis. She has come to collect DNA. When Ben arrives home, he tells Susan Mr Addis practically accused him of stealing his wallet. Susan produces it, she stole it to look for clues. He has a receipt for an axe! Susan arrives, yet again, at the surgery while Mr Addis is waiting for his appointment and tries to lead him into conversation about his wife. She is rigged for a microphone. Ben orders her out. Ben tries to put the wallet back. Abi spills the beans about Michael’s new girlfriend! Susan offers to buy Ben, who she now refers to as Luis, a pint so they can discuss the case in more depth. Mr Addis is watching them! Susan has gone out in the middle of the night, looking for evidence, he asks Michael to deflect Susan. To put her off this obsession with Mr Addis. Michael says he will oblige for money. Susan returns with Mr Addis’ rubbish, but it yields no clues. Susan, now dressed in trench-coat and hat, spots Mr Addis watching their house. Susan decides Mr Addis is now out to murder Ben, and she sets off to break into and search his house, where she encounters the real Mrs Addis, alive and well. At home, Ben asks Michael for his money back, but it’s too late, Michael has ‘transmatterated’ it into the bank! Ben is now un-nerved by Mr Addis staring at the house, he turns round and Mr Addis is there brandishing a big stick. Ben knocks him out, just as Susan comes back in to tell him it’s okay and Mr Addis hasn’t done anything wrong. We see Mr Addis waking in the surgery, with Ben and Susan pretending it was all a dream while he was under aesthetic. Michael leaves the house, with his ‘supermodel’ girlfriend." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2310) "Susan is obsessed with watching Morse DVD’s. Ben is working on Mr Addis, who Ben wants to sign up for implants, and be Ben’s guinea pig. While under aesthetic Mr Addis confesses he killed his wife. Michael has a new girlfriend, who he wants to keep secret from Susan. Ben makes the mistake of telling Susan Mr Addis confessed to killing his wife and Susan now has a new obsession. She decides to investigate herself. Michael carries on trying to keep his girlfriend secret from Susan, and to keep her off his back, he suggests ways to help her investigation. Susan arrives dressed as a dental nurse at Ben’s surgery, while Ben is working on Mr Addis. She has come to collect DNA. When Ben arrives home, he tells Susan Mr Addis practically accused him of stealing his wallet. Susan produces it, she stole it to look for clues. He has a receipt for an axe! Susan arrives, yet again, at the surgery while Mr Addis is waiting for his appointment and tries to lead him into conversation about his wife. She is rigged for a microphone. Ben orders her out. Ben tries to put the wallet back. Abi spills the beans about Michael’s new girlfriend! Susan offers to buy Ben, who she now refers to as Luis, a pint so they can discuss the case in more depth. Mr Addis is watching them! Susan has gone out in the middle of the night, looking for evidence, he asks Michael to deflect Susan. To put her off this obsession with Mr Addis. Michael says he will oblige for money. Susan returns with Mr Addis’ rubbish, but it yields no clues. Susan, now dressed in trench-coat and hat, spots Mr Addis watching their house. Susan decides Mr Addis is now out to murder Ben, and she sets off to break into and search his house, where she encounters the real Mrs Addis, alive and well. At home, Ben asks Michael for his money back, but it’s too late, Michael has ‘transmatterated’ it into the bank! Ben is now un-nerved by Mr Addis staring at the house, he turns round and Mr Addis is there brandishing a big stick. Ben knocks him out, just as Susan comes back in to tell him it’s okay and Mr Addis hasn’t done anything wrong. We see Mr Addis waking in the surgery, with Ben and Susan pretending it was all a dream while he was under aesthetic. Michael leaves the house, with his ‘supermodel’ girlfriend." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1942) "Abi is learning words from the dictionary, she has a job interview with the College Library. Susan is overworked and wants a cleaner. Ben is thrilled when he finds Michael is reading the football results…even if it just because he has a girlfriend who is interested in it. Susan is interviewing for the job of cleaner, Michael answers the door to a gorgeous blond and wants Susan to hire her, but they get off on the wrong foot when Ben comes home and mistakes her for Susan! Ben really doesn’t want this cleaner, until Susan says she is too tired for Sex. Martha is hired. She is perfect! Ben shows off his football skills to Michael and Susan starts to feel very left out because of Martha, who won’t let her do anything, and is better than Susan at everything she does. Now that Susan has hired the cleaner and Ben really likes her she is jealous. Ben decides to watch football with Michael so he can explain a few points, but as usual Michael knows more about it than he does. Susan decides to go on a campaign to make it look like Martha is slipping, in Ben’s eyes. She stole his chocolate off his pillow and he catches her downstairs in the middle of the night throwing dirt around to mess up the house. Susan tells Ben he has to fire Martha. He does it and Martha agrees that Susan is a bit touchy, Ben becomes very upset. Abi doesn’t get the job as she has been practicing for, she is overqualified. The job was for Tea Lady. Susan drops in unexpectedly to the surgery to take Ben to lunch and suspects that Martha has been there, Ben denies it but Roger manages to let the cat out of the bag that Martha has been cleaning there, and also cleaning his surgery upstairs. Susan is delighted to have her house back, Ben comes home and promises he has now fired Martha. Ben is all dressed up to take Michael to the QPR game, but Michael is now after a new girl who is into pottery, he hates the primitive game!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(1942) "Abi is learning words from the dictionary, she has a job interview with the College Library. Susan is overworked and wants a cleaner. Ben is thrilled when he finds Michael is reading the football results…even if it just because he has a girlfriend who is interested in it. Susan is interviewing for the job of cleaner, Michael answers the door to a gorgeous blond and wants Susan to hire her, but they get off on the wrong foot when Ben comes home and mistakes her for Susan! Ben really doesn’t want this cleaner, until Susan says she is too tired for Sex. Martha is hired. She is perfect! Ben shows off his football skills to Michael and Susan starts to feel very left out because of Martha, who won’t let her do anything, and is better than Susan at everything she does. Now that Susan has hired the cleaner and Ben really likes her she is jealous. Ben decides to watch football with Michael so he can explain a few points, but as usual Michael knows more about it than he does. Susan decides to go on a campaign to make it look like Martha is slipping, in Ben’s eyes. She stole his chocolate off his pillow and he catches her downstairs in the middle of the night throwing dirt around to mess up the house. Susan tells Ben he has to fire Martha. He does it and Martha agrees that Susan is a bit touchy, Ben becomes very upset. Abi doesn’t get the job as she has been practicing for, she is overqualified. The job was for Tea Lady. Susan drops in unexpectedly to the surgery to take Ben to lunch and suspects that Martha has been there, Ben denies it but Roger manages to let the cat out of the bag that Martha has been cleaning there, and also cleaning his surgery upstairs. Susan is delighted to have her house back, Ben comes home and promises he has now fired Martha. Ben is all dressed up to take Michael to the QPR game, but Michael is now after a new girl who is into pottery, he hates the primitive game!" 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2925) "The morning starts as normal with the kids ignoring Ben. Susan enters in funeral clothing and Ben has forgotten it was the funeral of her best friend. Susan says they must be prepared as they could be snuffed out at any time. Ben feels the kids ignore him, and as if that isn’t bad enough he finds out Abi hasn’t been paying rent. He makes her a tenant! Susan reveals that she has learned Ben is about to die over the internet and now needs to plan the perfect funeral. Ben goes to ask Michael for help, on Date with Death.com. After a few questions Michael works out Ben has 67 weeks to live! Abi starts to assert her tenants rights. She has two hours of her choice of TV daily. Nick arrives, wearing a top hat and tails, he is an official mourner at the local undertakers. Ben asks where he has been for the last 6 months, Nick has been going round and round on the central line! Nick joins in with suggestions for a ‘special’ funeral for Ben. Ben is becoming upset with all the funeral talk and when Susan suggests he make a will, he thinks the kids will suddenly start to take notice of him and be helpful towards him! Susan plans what she should wear to Ben’s funeral to look her most attractive and also thinks they should appoint a guardian for Michael. Ben suggests Roger as Michael would hate it. Nick has brought ice home for Ben’s whisky, and before he has decides to leave Nickhis money he wants to make sure he is a responsible adult! When he looks at Nick he has chopsticks up his nose.! Then he tells Ben he got the ice from the mortuary. Susan has bought the music that Ben would like for his funeral but he is not allowed to listen to it until he dies. Ben decides to call a family meeting when the kids turn up there is a terrible smell, Nick has had a go at embalming his leg. None of the children can come up with anything nice to say about Ben, they can’t even say they love him for his money, so he rips up Abi’s rentbook and decides to make her his sole beneficiary. Nick has been fired for doing hand brake turns in a hearse. He has also brought home a little memento, a coffin. Abi thinks Nick has killed Ben and he is dead and in the coffin. Ben wants Susan to be distraught when he dies, like she was when the goldfish dies. Ben then comes up behind Abi who becomes incredibly upset because Ben isn’t dead. Ben climbs into the coffin to give Susan a fright. Two undertakers arrive on the doorstep, looking for a stolen coffin. They assume Nick has taken it, and when then they see it in the lounge and wheel it away. When Nick comes home it dawns on him that Ben has been taken away too. They race to the funeral parlour where Ben has just woken up and isn’t too sure where he is. Back at home Ben has called yet another meeting, although he has completed his Will he has found an online site that has given him another 40 years to live, so he tears it up." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2925) "The morning starts as normal with the kids ignoring Ben. Susan enters in funeral clothing and Ben has forgotten it was the funeral of her best friend. Susan says they must be prepared as they could be snuffed out at any time. Ben feels the kids ignore him, and as if that isn’t bad enough he finds out Abi hasn’t been paying rent. He makes her a tenant! Susan reveals that she has learned Ben is about to die over the internet and now needs to plan the perfect funeral. Ben goes to ask Michael for help, on Date with Death.com. After a few questions Michael works out Ben has 67 weeks to live! Abi starts to assert her tenants rights. She has two hours of her choice of TV daily. Nick arrives, wearing a top hat and tails, he is an official mourner at the local undertakers. Ben asks where he has been for the last 6 months, Nick has been going round and round on the central line! Nick joins in with suggestions for a ‘special’ funeral for Ben. Ben is becoming upset with all the funeral talk and when Susan suggests he make a will, he thinks the kids will suddenly start to take notice of him and be helpful towards him! Susan plans what she should wear to Ben’s funeral to look her most attractive and also thinks they should appoint a guardian for Michael. Ben suggests Roger as Michael would hate it. Nick has brought ice home for Ben’s whisky, and before he has decides to leave Nickhis money he wants to make sure he is a responsible adult! When he looks at Nick he has chopsticks up his nose.! Then he tells Ben he got the ice from the mortuary. Susan has bought the music that Ben would like for his funeral but he is not allowed to listen to it until he dies. Ben decides to call a family meeting when the kids turn up there is a terrible smell, Nick has had a go at embalming his leg. None of the children can come up with anything nice to say about Ben, they can’t even say they love him for his money, so he rips up Abi’s rentbook and decides to make her his sole beneficiary. Nick has been fired for doing hand brake turns in a hearse. He has also brought home a little memento, a coffin. Abi thinks Nick has killed Ben and he is dead and in the coffin. Ben wants Susan to be distraught when he dies, like she was when the goldfish dies. Ben then comes up behind Abi who becomes incredibly upset because Ben isn’t dead. Ben climbs into the coffin to give Susan a fright. Two undertakers arrive on the doorstep, looking for a stolen coffin. They assume Nick has taken it, and when then they see it in the lounge and wheel it away. When Nick comes home it dawns on him that Ben has been taken away too. They race to the funeral parlour where Ben has just woken up and isn’t too sure where he is. Back at home Ben has called yet another meeting, although he has completed his Will he has found an online site that has given him another 40 years to live, so he tears it up." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(4161) "Ben and Susan are in bed. Susan produces a baby monitor Susan explains that it is the latest model and can pick up sounds from Janey’s flat. Janey’s voice comes over the monitor talking to baby Kenzo, but we hear a man’s voice answer her! Ben is with a patient called Mr Collins when Roger walks in. Roger has won The Times crossword and the prize is a £20 gift voucher and his name printed in the paper. Roger completed the crossword in 20 mins although he usually does it in 10. He suggests that maybe Ben can’t complete crosswords. Ben is in the kitchen preoccupied with completing a crossword when Susan comes home. Susan complains that the local streets are a disgrace with all the litter, dog mess and graffiti. Susan tells Michael and Ben that she is going to stand for local councillor, Ben hopes she is joking! Ben visits Michael in his bedroom to ask for his help with the crossword. He sees that Michael has bought a pet, Nicola, he assumes it’s a kitten until he pulls it out of the box and realises it’s a tarantula. Susan is in the kitchen completing her councillor candidate form when Ben enters still doing the crossword. She tells Ben she wants his signature for her form, he insists on checking the form before he signs. Michael is looking for something, Ben and Susan ask him what he is doing. Nicola, his tarantula has gone missing and he explains that her sting could cause some swelling and occasionally be fatal. Ben and Susan are checking their bed for evidence of Nicola before getting in. Ben picks up his crossword and Susan her councellor plans. Susan is canvassing on the doorstep of a yuppie couple. Ben has been ordered to canvass for her too, so he barely knocks on the door of a woman who insists on voting for Susan and helping in anyway she can even against Ben’s suggestion. He asks her for help with his crossword. Susan calls at Janey’s flat to ask for her vote. Janey insists that Susan explain her manifesto and will only vote if Susan does her cleaning. Ben and Susan are in bed, he’s reading his book which has his crossword hidden in. Michael enters looking around the room. He’s still not found Nicola and is worried about her ‘especially in her condition. She’s pregnant and could be about to produce hundreds of babies. Ben thinks that Nicola may be in the bed and goes to investigate. Susan’s holding a kitchen cabinet, a campaign meeting with Michael, Abi and Roger. Ben has defaced Susan’s campaign folder. They discuss slogans. Ben enters and mocks the situation. Ben is pacing around the living room trying to complete his crossword, one question left to answer and then he can catch the post. Susan rings him and asks why he isn’t campaigning with her and she suggests he would be safer out of the house than in it with the tarantula. Ben is on the coffee table with a baseball bat calling for Nicola, the room is in disarray. He sees her and starts lashing out with the baseball bat when Michael appears and asks him what he is doing. Ben breaks the sad news about Nicola’s untimely death. Michael tells him he took Nicola back to the pet shop last week. Ben had mistaken a black glove for Nicola. Ben is about to throttle Michael but he saves himself by giving Ben the last clue for the crossword. Susan, Michael and Abi are waiting for the election results at the local town hall when Ben arrives late. He promises he has not forgotten to vote. Susan’s opposition, George Edward Glover wins, Susan has only received 2 votes. Michael points out that the votes don’t add up if Susan, Abi and Ben all voted. Ben tries to cover his tracks. Abi and Susan are in the kitchen, Abi is still trying to come up with slogans. Ben enters with The Times, trying to see if Harper has won. Yes, Harper has won, but it is Abi’s name is in the newspaper instead. Roger entered under her name. Roger leaves as he has to vote for Susan before the polls close! Ben and Susan are in bed when a sound comes over the baby monitor. They think it is squeaking bed springs and turn it off immediately. We reveal it is in fact Janey with Baby Kenzo in his baby bouncer." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(4161) "Ben and Susan are in bed. Susan produces a baby monitor Susan explains that it is the latest model and can pick up sounds from Janey’s flat. Janey’s voice comes over the monitor talking to baby Kenzo, but we hear a man’s voice answer her! Ben is with a patient called Mr Collins when Roger walks in. Roger has won The Times crossword and the prize is a £20 gift voucher and his name printed in the paper. Roger completed the crossword in 20 mins although he usually does it in 10. He suggests that maybe Ben can’t complete crosswords. Ben is in the kitchen preoccupied with completing a crossword when Susan comes home. Susan complains that the local streets are a disgrace with all the litter, dog mess and graffiti. Susan tells Michael and Ben that she is going to stand for local councillor, Ben hopes she is joking! Ben visits Michael in his bedroom to ask for his help with the crossword. He sees that Michael has bought a pet, Nicola, he assumes it’s a kitten until he pulls it out of the box and realises it’s a tarantula. Susan is in the kitchen completing her councillor candidate form when Ben enters still doing the crossword. She tells Ben she wants his signature for her form, he insists on checking the form before he signs. Michael is looking for something, Ben and Susan ask him what he is doing. Nicola, his tarantula has gone missing and he explains that her sting could cause some swelling and occasionally be fatal. Ben and Susan are checking their bed for evidence of Nicola before getting in. Ben picks up his crossword and Susan her councellor plans. Susan is canvassing on the doorstep of a yuppie couple. Ben has been ordered to canvass for her too, so he barely knocks on the door of a woman who insists on voting for Susan and helping in anyway she can even against Ben’s suggestion. He asks her for help with his crossword. Susan calls at Janey’s flat to ask for her vote. Janey insists that Susan explain her manifesto and will only vote if Susan does her cleaning. Ben and Susan are in bed, he’s reading his book which has his crossword hidden in. Michael enters looking around the room. He’s still not found Nicola and is worried about her ‘especially in her condition. She’s pregnant and could be about to produce hundreds of babies. Ben thinks that Nicola may be in the bed and goes to investigate. Susan’s holding a kitchen cabinet, a campaign meeting with Michael, Abi and Roger. Ben has defaced Susan’s campaign folder. They discuss slogans. Ben enters and mocks the situation. Ben is pacing around the living room trying to complete his crossword, one question left to answer and then he can catch the post. Susan rings him and asks why he isn’t campaigning with her and she suggests he would be safer out of the house than in it with the tarantula. Ben is on the coffee table with a baseball bat calling for Nicola, the room is in disarray. He sees her and starts lashing out with the baseball bat when Michael appears and asks him what he is doing. Ben breaks the sad news about Nicola’s untimely death. Michael tells him he took Nicola back to the pet shop last week. Ben had mistaken a black glove for Nicola. Ben is about to throttle Michael but he saves himself by giving Ben the last clue for the crossword. Susan, Michael and Abi are waiting for the election results at the local town hall when Ben arrives late. He promises he has not forgotten to vote. Susan’s opposition, George Edward Glover wins, Susan has only received 2 votes. Michael points out that the votes don’t add up if Susan, Abi and Ben all voted. Ben tries to cover his tracks. Abi and Susan are in the kitchen, Abi is still trying to come up with slogans. Ben enters with The Times, trying to see if Harper has won. Yes, Harper has won, but it is Abi’s name is in the newspaper instead. Roger entered under her name. Roger leaves as he has to vote for Susan before the polls close! Ben and Susan are in bed when a sound comes over the baby monitor. They think it is squeaking bed springs and turn it off immediately. We reveal it is in fact Janey with Baby Kenzo in his baby bouncer." ["_episode_summary"]=> string(19) "field_57471e34d33f4" ["gallery"]=> string(0) "" ["_gallery"]=> string(19) "field_57471e55d33f5" ["cast_selection"]=> array(6) { [0]=> string(3) "100" [1]=> string(3) "105" [2]=> string(3) "111" [3]=> string(3) "109" [4]=> string(3) "115" [5]=> string(3) "477" } ["_cast_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471e7bd33f6" ["additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(9) "Giles New" ["_additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(20) "Mr. Collins, Patient" ["_additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(12) "Judith Jacob" ["_additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(21) "Mrs. Cooke, Neighbour" ["_additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(15) "Victoria Hasted" ["_additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(7) "Kathryn" ["_additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(13) "Andrew Alston" ["_additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(3) "Tim" ["_additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(11) "Edward Lyon" ["_additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "George Edward Glove" ["_additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(10) "Sody Singh" ["_additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(17) "Returning Officer" ["_additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(19) "Thomas & Noah Davis" ["_additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(10) "Baby Kenzo" ["_additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(11) "Ralf Ineson" ["_additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(15) "Deep Male Voice" ["_additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts"]=> string(1) "8" ["_additional_casts"]=> string(19) "field_57471eefd33f7" ["team_selection"]=> array(5) { [0]=> string(3) "674" [1]=> string(3) "534" [2]=> string(3) "536" [3]=> string(3) "529" [4]=> string(3) "540" } ["_team_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471ffed33fa" } } [68]=> object(Timber\Post)#9325 (87) { ["ImageClass"]=> string(12) "Timber\Image" ["PostClass"]=> string(11) "Timber\Post" ["TermClass"]=> string(11) "Timber\Term" ["object_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["_content":protected]=> NULL ["_permalink":protected]=> NULL ["_next":protected]=> array(0) { } ["_prev":protected]=> array(0) { } ["class"]=> string(77) "post-1031 episode type-episode status-publish hentry series_category-series-5" ["id"]=> int(1031) ["ID"]=> int(1031) ["post_author"]=> string(1) "2" ["post_content"]=> string(0) "" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 21:20:26" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["post_title"]=> string(31) "S05E05 - Luck Be A Lady Tonight" ["post_type"]=> string(7) "episode" ["slug"]=> string(29) "s05e05-luck-be-a-lady-tonight" ["__type":protected]=> NULL ["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488492440:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_14"]=> string(1) "4" ["episode_name"]=> string(27) "05 - Luck Be A Lady Tonight" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(80) "In order to awaken Abi's interest, Susan suggests Roger should make her jealous." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2837) "Ben and Susan are watching TV when the doorbell goes and Roger arrives. He has come to ask Abi to go out with him. Abi and her boyfriend Steve come downstairs. They are off to Burger King, Roger is shattered. Susan wants him to talk about it but Ben thinks there is nothing to be said. Susan says Roger must make Abi jealous and get another girl. Ben thinks he should go away and join the foreign legion to get over it. Susan suggests some friends of hers for a blind date with Roger, but Ben says they are all terrible ideas. He will take on the problem of Roger’s love life himself, he is a man after all and all men must stick together. Ben tries to teach Roger how to dazzle and flirt with one of his patients, a Mr Hargreaves, who turns out to be more than happy to play the part of ‘Claudia’. Roger is not too good a the role play, but Ben turns out to be the master. ‘Claudia’ and Roger go off to the pub. Back at the house, there is a value measuring up the living room, and Ben and Susan think Michael may be selling the house. As Ben’s plan didn’t work for Roger and his love life, Susan decides to take matters into her own hands and organize a drinks party, for Abi, Steve, Roger and he is to find a girl to bring. Michael shows a couple around the house, he is testing the marked. Ben and Susan are staggered when Roger arrives for the drinks party with a beautiful, stunning girl, Sarah. She seems to good to be true and then Sarah comes onto Ben in the Kitchen. Ben discovers they met through Yellow Pages! Susan realizes she is a prostitute. Unfortunately Roger doesn’t know! He thinks she is an actress, a model and a masseuse. Ben tells Susan that Sarah came on to him and he is flattered until he also realizes Sarah is a prostitute. Susan thinks they should tell Roger, Ben doesn’t. Michael is showing Hubert round the bedroom, with a view to his buying it once he has sold his parents house. Roger is strapped for cash, he is still paying for dates with Sarah, Ben starts to explain but Roger is so excited he can’t bring himself too. Ben takes it upon himself to go round to Sarah’s house to ask Sarah to leave Roger alone because he is rather naïve, he discovers Sarah is a model, a masseuse and also an actress, Ben is relieved, then realizes that she is also a prostitute! Ben asks her to stop seeing him, but at £200 an hour Sarah thinks Ben is naïve too! Susan makes up ‘their’ minds to tell Roger, when he rushes in and tells them he knows, he got caught in a police raid at Sarah’s house. Roger and Abi bump into one another and swap disaster stories about their dates. Susan tries to set Roger up with Vicki Crabshaw, a very unattractive friend of Susan’s, but Roger is not her type. The removal men are in, removing the furniture. They call for Michael." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2837) "Ben and Susan are watching TV when the doorbell goes and Roger arrives. He has come to ask Abi to go out with him. Abi and her boyfriend Steve come downstairs. They are off to Burger King, Roger is shattered. Susan wants him to talk about it but Ben thinks there is nothing to be said. Susan says Roger must make Abi jealous and get another girl. Ben thinks he should go away and join the foreign legion to get over it. Susan suggests some friends of hers for a blind date with Roger, but Ben says they are all terrible ideas. He will take on the problem of Roger’s love life himself, he is a man after all and all men must stick together. Ben tries to teach Roger how to dazzle and flirt with one of his patients, a Mr Hargreaves, who turns out to be more than happy to play the part of ‘Claudia’. Roger is not too good a the role play, but Ben turns out to be the master. ‘Claudia’ and Roger go off to the pub. Back at the house, there is a value measuring up the living room, and Ben and Susan think Michael may be selling the house. As Ben’s plan didn’t work for Roger and his love life, Susan decides to take matters into her own hands and organize a drinks party, for Abi, Steve, Roger and he is to find a girl to bring. Michael shows a couple around the house, he is testing the marked. Ben and Susan are staggered when Roger arrives for the drinks party with a beautiful, stunning girl, Sarah. She seems to good to be true and then Sarah comes onto Ben in the Kitchen. Ben discovers they met through Yellow Pages! Susan realizes she is a prostitute. Unfortunately Roger doesn’t know! He thinks she is an actress, a model and a masseuse. Ben tells Susan that Sarah came on to him and he is flattered until he also realizes Sarah is a prostitute. Susan thinks they should tell Roger, Ben doesn’t. Michael is showing Hubert round the bedroom, with a view to his buying it once he has sold his parents house. Roger is strapped for cash, he is still paying for dates with Sarah, Ben starts to explain but Roger is so excited he can’t bring himself too. Ben takes it upon himself to go round to Sarah’s house to ask Sarah to leave Roger alone because he is rather naïve, he discovers Sarah is a model, a masseuse and also an actress, Ben is relieved, then realizes that she is also a prostitute! Ben asks her to stop seeing him, but at £200 an hour Sarah thinks Ben is naïve too! Susan makes up ‘their’ minds to tell Roger, when he rushes in and tells them he knows, he got caught in a police raid at Sarah’s house. Roger and Abi bump into one another and swap disaster stories about their dates. Susan tries to set Roger up with Vicki Crabshaw, a very unattractive friend of Susan’s, but Roger is not her type. The removal men are in, removing the furniture. They call for Michael." 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["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(58) "Ben and Susan flat-sit their friends' brand-new apartment." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(7963) "Ben and Susan exit the lift on the 10th floor of the building, they are greeted in the hall by Geoffrey and Stephanie. Geoffrey thanks Ben for flat-sitting, Ben says it’s no problem. Stephanie tells them there’s been a spate of burglaries in the area, and having them staying in the flat will put their minds at rest while they spend the weekend in their second home in the country. They are led towards the flat and shown the keypad to let them in. The flat is a brand new luxury Docklands flat. The rest of the building is as yet, unoccupied. The flat is full of the latest gadgets, and the lights are voice activated. Susan walks in and thinks they have been burgled already, but they say that it’s ‘minimalist’, it’s their design choice. Geoffrey and Stephanie leave, and say that if there’s any problems, the numbers and information are all in the instruction book in the kitchen drawer. Ben is really amazed by the flat and thinks it’s great, Susan doesn’t. Ben thinks that it could be a good retirement home for them, Susan say’s that her dream home is a little cottage in the country. Ben tries to dissuade about living in the country and admires the view of the London skyline. Susan argues saying where’s the country breeze? Ben says to just open the window. He realises that there aren’t any handles to open them up with and says that they probably don’t need any as it’s air conditioned. Susan flops onto the sofa, Ben joins her, and flicks on the widescreen tv. He starts switching between the channels, he can’t find anything he likes so he decides to put on a dvd, except he can’t find any cupboards. Susan can’t find the toilet! She goes to find the instructions left in the drawer, and can’t find a drawer. They start searching the kitchen and Ben finds the beer. But he can’t find a bottle opener. Susan is still looking for tea, Ben picks up one of the takeaway menu’s left out on the side – Silver service, a range of romantic gourmet dinners delivered straight to your door. Susan says she’s eaten, he meant for when they move there. Ben decides to use an old boy-scout trick to open the bottle, by chipping it on the side. By doing so, he chips a hole in the marble, then say’s he’ll get a man in the morning to come and fix it. Susan tells him its marble from a mountain in Italy, Ben says he’ll just give them the money. They are both sitting on the sofa, drinking when Susan chokes on what she thinks is tea and finds out it’s actually a ‘Bouquet Garni’. Ben says to think of it as Bovril, this does the trick. Susan tells Ben that there’s no way she is buying a flat like this one, Ben tries reverse psychology with her to change her mind, but it doesn’t work. Later, we here banging from another room, it’s Ben trying to find the toilet. He listens to the wall, and thinks he can hear the running water of the cistern behind it, Susan thinks it might be the boiler. Ben is sure it’s the toilet, and picks up an African statue to lever the door open with. It’s head breaks off without the door opening, he says he’ll superglue it in the morning. He then takes the metal spoon that Susan is holding and tries again to lever the door open. This time he chips away some of the wood. Susan is worried about what Geoffrey and Stephanie will say. Ben says it’s fine as they’re saving the place from being burgled. He then pats the door and it swings open to reveal the boiler. Not the loo. They are in bed, Ben is reading, Susan is saying that she’s glad they found the boiler, Ben say’s that it was good that they found the toilet, Susan agrees, then says that it’s another door they will have to repair. Ben says he’ll give them the money. Susan thinks he’s trying to buy the flat bit by bit. They start arguing about living in the country again, and Susan decides she wants to go to sleep. Ben calls lights, nothing happens. He calls ‘lights’ again, they get brighter, he calls ‘lights’ louder and they get even brighter. We fade in and out to see them lying in bed with sunglasses on. They get up thinking it’s morning, and realise it’s 2.46am. Ben calls out ‘Why can’t we turn these bloody light’s off’ and the lights go off. They go back to sleep. Ben and Susan return from a walk, they have been pursued by some local kids. Ben tells Susan that he has organised a surprise for her, she hates his surprises. The door buzzer goes. Ben asks them to come up, we see a liveried butler with a silver service dinner on a tray on the intercom screen. Susan guesses that it’s one of those ‘stupid’ dinners with a candle and rose, Ben tells her to wait and see. Susan doesn’t think the city looks better at night. Ben points out a twinkling light which Susan says is an ambulance. Susan wants her life to be more like The Archers. She leaves him to slip into something more comfortable. Ben is on his mobile asking where the butler has disappeared to. He cancels it and orders a pizza as his backup plan. He’s on his mobile again trying to wave the pizza delivery guy in who has got lost. Susan emerges all dressed up. Ben buzzes the pizza man in but can’t see him on the intercom screen. Susan believes that the flat has developed a personality. Ben goes to look for their supper, Susan follows him even though Ben has told her to stay in the flat. Ben disappears in to the lift and the doors close on him before Susan can join him. She descends the stairs to follow him and again misses him when he steps out of the lift and gets back in again. She arrives on the 1st floor to find an empty lift after Ben has got out and is wandering the corridors. She runs in the opposite direction of Ben. There is here a chase sequence up and down floors and corridors which all look exactly the same. This includes, the pizza delivery man, Ben, Susan and the liveried butler with his trolley. She gives up and returns to the flat. Ben has had the same idea, except the door entry code won’t work. He can’t make Susan hear him banging, and as no one is looking he breaks the door open with the fire extinguisher. He enters the flat calling after Janey, Mikey and Nick, pleased at the thought that they are not there. He sits on the sofa and turns the plasma screen on and settles to watch Die Hard. His mobile rings, he assumes it’s the pizza company and starts to berate them. It’s Susan though, asking where he is. He tells her he’s in the living room, apparently that is where she is too. He asks whereabouts, she’s on the sofa, but so is he. “I’m in the wrong flat aren’t I?”. He realises he is also on the wrong floor. He gets into the lift to return to the right flat As the doors are closing Ben finally sees the liveried butler who has settled down to eating the candle lit dinner in the corridor. Ben returns to the correct flat to find Susan on the sofa watching tv. There is a knock at the door, it’s the pizza man. The entry phone doesn’t work, so the pizza man slips the pizza under the door without the topping. He then puts the topping through the letter box. Ben passes money through the door and asks for his change, but we see the pizza man leaving straight away. Susan suggests that she puts the topping back on the pizza and put it under the grill. Ben chips the marble table again while opening more beer. They smell burning, it is the pizza. Ben pulls out the flaming pizza and realises that he can’t throw it out the window as they don’t open. In panic, Susan pulls the Video player off the wall and lobs it through the window, Ben then throw the pizza out after it. The plasma screen is now on fire and the room is filled with smoke. The water sprinklers come on and soak Susan & Ben. A wet Ben is on his mobile explaining to Geoffrey that they have been burgled but that he and Susan are okay. Susan finally finds the instructions leaflet." 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["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(58) "Ben and Susan flat-sit their friends' brand-new apartment." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(7963) "Ben and Susan exit the lift on the 10th floor of the building, they are greeted in the hall by Geoffrey and Stephanie. Geoffrey thanks Ben for flat-sitting, Ben says it’s no problem. Stephanie tells them there’s been a spate of burglaries in the area, and having them staying in the flat will put their minds at rest while they spend the weekend in their second home in the country. They are led towards the flat and shown the keypad to let them in. The flat is a brand new luxury Docklands flat. The rest of the building is as yet, unoccupied. The flat is full of the latest gadgets, and the lights are voice activated. Susan walks in and thinks they have been burgled already, but they say that it’s ‘minimalist’, it’s their design choice. Geoffrey and Stephanie leave, and say that if there’s any problems, the numbers and information are all in the instruction book in the kitchen drawer. Ben is really amazed by the flat and thinks it’s great, Susan doesn’t. Ben thinks that it could be a good retirement home for them, Susan say’s that her dream home is a little cottage in the country. Ben tries to dissuade about living in the country and admires the view of the London skyline. Susan argues saying where’s the country breeze? Ben says to just open the window. He realises that there aren’t any handles to open them up with and says that they probably don’t need any as it’s air conditioned. Susan flops onto the sofa, Ben joins her, and flicks on the widescreen tv. He starts switching between the channels, he can’t find anything he likes so he decides to put on a dvd, except he can’t find any cupboards. Susan can’t find the toilet! She goes to find the instructions left in the drawer, and can’t find a drawer. They start searching the kitchen and Ben finds the beer. But he can’t find a bottle opener. Susan is still looking for tea, Ben picks up one of the takeaway menu’s left out on the side – Silver service, a range of romantic gourmet dinners delivered straight to your door. Susan says she’s eaten, he meant for when they move there. Ben decides to use an old boy-scout trick to open the bottle, by chipping it on the side. By doing so, he chips a hole in the marble, then say’s he’ll get a man in the morning to come and fix it. Susan tells him its marble from a mountain in Italy, Ben says he’ll just give them the money. They are both sitting on the sofa, drinking when Susan chokes on what she thinks is tea and finds out it’s actually a ‘Bouquet Garni’. Ben says to think of it as Bovril, this does the trick. Susan tells Ben that there’s no way she is buying a flat like this one, Ben tries reverse psychology with her to change her mind, but it doesn’t work. Later, we here banging from another room, it’s Ben trying to find the toilet. He listens to the wall, and thinks he can hear the running water of the cistern behind it, Susan thinks it might be the boiler. Ben is sure it’s the toilet, and picks up an African statue to lever the door open with. It’s head breaks off without the door opening, he says he’ll superglue it in the morning. He then takes the metal spoon that Susan is holding and tries again to lever the door open. This time he chips away some of the wood. Susan is worried about what Geoffrey and Stephanie will say. Ben says it’s fine as they’re saving the place from being burgled. He then pats the door and it swings open to reveal the boiler. Not the loo. They are in bed, Ben is reading, Susan is saying that she’s glad they found the boiler, Ben say’s that it was good that they found the toilet, Susan agrees, then says that it’s another door they will have to repair. Ben says he’ll give them the money. Susan thinks he’s trying to buy the flat bit by bit. They start arguing about living in the country again, and Susan decides she wants to go to sleep. Ben calls lights, nothing happens. He calls ‘lights’ again, they get brighter, he calls ‘lights’ louder and they get even brighter. We fade in and out to see them lying in bed with sunglasses on. They get up thinking it’s morning, and realise it’s 2.46am. Ben calls out ‘Why can’t we turn these bloody light’s off’ and the lights go off. They go back to sleep. Ben and Susan return from a walk, they have been pursued by some local kids. Ben tells Susan that he has organised a surprise for her, she hates his surprises. The door buzzer goes. Ben asks them to come up, we see a liveried butler with a silver service dinner on a tray on the intercom screen. Susan guesses that it’s one of those ‘stupid’ dinners with a candle and rose, Ben tells her to wait and see. Susan doesn’t think the city looks better at night. Ben points out a twinkling light which Susan says is an ambulance. Susan wants her life to be more like The Archers. She leaves him to slip into something more comfortable. Ben is on his mobile asking where the butler has disappeared to. He cancels it and orders a pizza as his backup plan. He’s on his mobile again trying to wave the pizza delivery guy in who has got lost. Susan emerges all dressed up. Ben buzzes the pizza man in but can’t see him on the intercom screen. Susan believes that the flat has developed a personality. Ben goes to look for their supper, Susan follows him even though Ben has told her to stay in the flat. Ben disappears in to the lift and the doors close on him before Susan can join him. She descends the stairs to follow him and again misses him when he steps out of the lift and gets back in again. She arrives on the 1st floor to find an empty lift after Ben has got out and is wandering the corridors. She runs in the opposite direction of Ben. There is here a chase sequence up and down floors and corridors which all look exactly the same. This includes, the pizza delivery man, Ben, Susan and the liveried butler with his trolley. She gives up and returns to the flat. Ben has had the same idea, except the door entry code won’t work. He can’t make Susan hear him banging, and as no one is looking he breaks the door open with the fire extinguisher. He enters the flat calling after Janey, Mikey and Nick, pleased at the thought that they are not there. He sits on the sofa and turns the plasma screen on and settles to watch Die Hard. His mobile rings, he assumes it’s the pizza company and starts to berate them. It’s Susan though, asking where he is. He tells her he’s in the living room, apparently that is where she is too. He asks whereabouts, she’s on the sofa, but so is he. “I’m in the wrong flat aren’t I?”. He realises he is also on the wrong floor. He gets into the lift to return to the right flat As the doors are closing Ben finally sees the liveried butler who has settled down to eating the candle lit dinner in the corridor. Ben returns to the correct flat to find Susan on the sofa watching tv. There is a knock at the door, it’s the pizza man. The entry phone doesn’t work, so the pizza man slips the pizza under the door without the topping. He then puts the topping through the letter box. Ben passes money through the door and asks for his change, but we see the pizza man leaving straight away. Susan suggests that she puts the topping back on the pizza and put it under the grill. Ben chips the marble table again while opening more beer. They smell burning, it is the pizza. Ben pulls out the flaming pizza and realises that he can’t throw it out the window as they don’t open. In panic, Susan pulls the Video player off the wall and lobs it through the window, Ben then throw the pizza out after it. The plasma screen is now on fire and the room is filled with smoke. The water sprinklers come on and soak Susan & Ben. A wet Ben is on his mobile explaining to Geoffrey that they have been burgled but that he and Susan are okay. Susan finally finds the instructions leaflet." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(4655) "Michael and Hubert are watching tv. Hubert has invented a way of watching premium channels for free, Ben will have to pay them a monthly sum, in order to watch sport. Michael and Abi are at breakfast. Abi can’t wait till the weekend as she’s got a double date with Janey. Susan says Janey has an alternative motive; she probably wants Abi to babysit, but Susan is to babysit. Ben is worried about Michael hanging around with four eyed swatty Hubert. Ben’s looking forward to the football game on tv. Michael is trying to teach his new friend Jack maths, when Ben enters with beers to watch the match. Jack introduces himself to Ben, he’s impressed with Michael’s cool friend. Ben and Jack watch the match leaving Michael to finish Jack’s homework. Susan enters, Jack is obviously smitten with her. Ben’s in bed praising Jack and says at last Michael has the chance to be cool.. The next day, Ben trips over Kenzo’s car seat. Susan explains that Janey is home, and is with Abi giving her fashion advice. The Blonde leading the Bonkers! Michael is suddenly dressing trendily. He enjoyed school as he was now hanging out with the cool guys. Jack brings Susan some tea in Abi’s bedroom. Janey tells Susan she is using Abi as the gawky friend for her double date. Janey refers to Jack being Susan’s toyboy. Susan says she is too young to be the older woman. Susan doesn’t want to hear another word about it. Abi asks Susan where her toyboy is. Ben and Jack are discussing Slade. Susan comes in, she asks Jack if he has a girlfriend, Ben doesn’t think Susan should be interrogating Jack, he is a friend not family. Susan tells Jack he should have one of his own age. Susan is doing the washing up, Jack tries to grab her hand and ends up with her washing glove, he puts it down his top. Ben is still oblivious. Susan is concerned that Jack isn’t good for Michael. Ben disagrees. Susan can’t bring her to say that he fancies her. The phone rings, it’s Jack. Ben tells him what Susan is wearing in bed. Susan and Abi are sat in a coffee shop discussing Jack’s attraction to Susan. Janey explains that like her Susan is a babe magnet. Ben and Jack are saying goodbye when Susan returns home. Jack kisses Susan goodbye on both cheeks. Susan tells Ben about Jacks fascination with her. He thinks she’s imagining it. Later that night, Ben is still killing himself laughing, and that Susan is like a batty old woman thinking Tom Hanks fancies her….Ben says it’s a faze that Jack is obviously going through, 17 year old boys fancy anything, and as long as Jack still has time for him he doesn’t mind. Susan tells Ben to stop Jack from coming round, he tells her to stop leading him on. Abi’s about to get ready for her date, she tells Susan that she needs to tell Michael about Jack fancying her. Susan tells Michael about Jack, he knows about Jack’s crush, it allows him to be in with the ‘in’ crowd. He suggests she tries even harder to make herself look good to keep Jack interested. Ben’s looking for his Noddy Holder sideburns. Susan appears in a boiler suit with her hair in curlers. She’s trying to dress badly to put Jack off. Abi’s dressed for her date, by Janey, in a terrible outfit. Ben’s standing in front of the mirror with his sideburns singing Slade songs. Michael and Jack are looking at Slade albums and Jack tells Michael his father is great.. Susan enters chewing on a drumstick, Michael is mortified and stomps off. Susan persists in trying to put Jack off. She talks about her varicose veins and hearing aids, Jack is not put off. Susan’s in the bedroom attending to Kenzo, Jack walks in. He takes his shoes and socks off and tries to come on to Susan. She tells him to back off. He leaves. Susan turns back to the baby, and without Susan seeing Ben appears from the bathroom, he’s heard the conversation and picks up Jack’s sock. He leaves. He tells Michael he has to tell Jack to go, Michael says he doesn’t want to get wedgies again, he demonstrates on Ben. He then tells Ben he must tell Jack. Ben approaches Jack on the sofa and puts him off fancying Susan. Jack tells Susan it’s all over as Ben has explained to him about her being a nagging, manipulative harpy, and he can get that at home. Susan tells Ben she’ll have to go back to servicing old men now that Jack isn’t interested. She also tells Ben she knows Ben slagged her off. The next day, Ben is missing Jack. Abi returns from her date on which she ended up with both her and Janey’s bloke. Michael comes in all muddy and with a limp. Ben demonstrates on Susan what a wedgie is." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(4655) "Michael and Hubert are watching tv. Hubert has invented a way of watching premium channels for free, Ben will have to pay them a monthly sum, in order to watch sport. Michael and Abi are at breakfast. Abi can’t wait till the weekend as she’s got a double date with Janey. Susan says Janey has an alternative motive; she probably wants Abi to babysit, but Susan is to babysit. Ben is worried about Michael hanging around with four eyed swatty Hubert. Ben’s looking forward to the football game on tv. Michael is trying to teach his new friend Jack maths, when Ben enters with beers to watch the match. Jack introduces himself to Ben, he’s impressed with Michael’s cool friend. Ben and Jack watch the match leaving Michael to finish Jack’s homework. Susan enters, Jack is obviously smitten with her. Ben’s in bed praising Jack and says at last Michael has the chance to be cool.. The next day, Ben trips over Kenzo’s car seat. Susan explains that Janey is home, and is with Abi giving her fashion advice. The Blonde leading the Bonkers! Michael is suddenly dressing trendily. He enjoyed school as he was now hanging out with the cool guys. Jack brings Susan some tea in Abi’s bedroom. Janey tells Susan she is using Abi as the gawky friend for her double date. Janey refers to Jack being Susan’s toyboy. Susan says she is too young to be the older woman. Susan doesn’t want to hear another word about it. Abi asks Susan where her toyboy is. Ben and Jack are discussing Slade. Susan comes in, she asks Jack if he has a girlfriend, Ben doesn’t think Susan should be interrogating Jack, he is a friend not family. Susan tells Jack he should have one of his own age. Susan is doing the washing up, Jack tries to grab her hand and ends up with her washing glove, he puts it down his top. Ben is still oblivious. Susan is concerned that Jack isn’t good for Michael. Ben disagrees. Susan can’t bring her to say that he fancies her. The phone rings, it’s Jack. Ben tells him what Susan is wearing in bed. Susan and Abi are sat in a coffee shop discussing Jack’s attraction to Susan. Janey explains that like her Susan is a babe magnet. Ben and Jack are saying goodbye when Susan returns home. Jack kisses Susan goodbye on both cheeks. Susan tells Ben about Jacks fascination with her. He thinks she’s imagining it. Later that night, Ben is still killing himself laughing, and that Susan is like a batty old woman thinking Tom Hanks fancies her….Ben says it’s a faze that Jack is obviously going through, 17 year old boys fancy anything, and as long as Jack still has time for him he doesn’t mind. Susan tells Ben to stop Jack from coming round, he tells her to stop leading him on. Abi’s about to get ready for her date, she tells Susan that she needs to tell Michael about Jack fancying her. Susan tells Michael about Jack, he knows about Jack’s crush, it allows him to be in with the ‘in’ crowd. He suggests she tries even harder to make herself look good to keep Jack interested. Ben’s looking for his Noddy Holder sideburns. Susan appears in a boiler suit with her hair in curlers. She’s trying to dress badly to put Jack off. Abi’s dressed for her date, by Janey, in a terrible outfit. Ben’s standing in front of the mirror with his sideburns singing Slade songs. Michael and Jack are looking at Slade albums and Jack tells Michael his father is great.. Susan enters chewing on a drumstick, Michael is mortified and stomps off. Susan persists in trying to put Jack off. She talks about her varicose veins and hearing aids, Jack is not put off. Susan’s in the bedroom attending to Kenzo, Jack walks in. He takes his shoes and socks off and tries to come on to Susan. She tells him to back off. He leaves. Susan turns back to the baby, and without Susan seeing Ben appears from the bathroom, he’s heard the conversation and picks up Jack’s sock. He leaves. He tells Michael he has to tell Jack to go, Michael says he doesn’t want to get wedgies again, he demonstrates on Ben. He then tells Ben he must tell Jack. Ben approaches Jack on the sofa and puts him off fancying Susan. Jack tells Susan it’s all over as Ben has explained to him about her being a nagging, manipulative harpy, and he can get that at home. Susan tells Ben she’ll have to go back to servicing old men now that Jack isn’t interested. She also tells Ben she knows Ben slagged her off. The next day, Ben is missing Jack. Abi returns from her date on which she ended up with both her and Janey’s bloke. Michael comes in all muddy and with a limp. Ben demonstrates on Susan what a wedgie is." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(6275) "Ben is reading his Tom Clancy novel, while Susan is banging the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together. Susan complains that it is too quiet. Ben is pleased that Janey is at uni, Nick’s got his own flat, Michael is near-normal, and Abi’s always out at an evening class. Ben enters the kitchen to find a car engine in pieces on the kitchen table. Abi has started car maintenance classes. It turns out she is experimenting with Ben’s car. Susan suggests that maybe car maintenance wasn’t the best choice for Abi. Abi agrees and leaves the engine in parts as her car fixing days are over. Ben asks Michael for his help to shift the car engine. Michael says he can’t as it is Sunday and he has found religion. He has been born again which means there will be no more selfishness or sin, only bible study and silent contemplation. Janey arrives with baby Kenzo, she has dropped out of university and is moving back in. 3 burly men carry all of Janey’s possessions in. Ben and Susan are in bed. Susan is concerned about why Janey left Manchester. She thinks there may be a man involved. Ben suggests that maybe she just dropped out. Susan says that it is up to Ben to question Janey, as she never tells Susan anything. With any luck the man in Janey’s life (if indeed there is one) may prove to be serious and Ben’s days of supporting Janey may be coming to an end! Janey’s cooking breakfast. Ben tries questioning Janey, she tells him to butt out. Michael insists on them saying grace before tucking into breakfast. Michael tells Ben that he is going to hell as he is not taking Michael’s religion seriously. Susan tries questioning Janey after Ben’s feeble attempt. Susan has much more success, Ben masterfully tells Janey to either get married or go back to uni. Abi tells Ben that she has found a new class to go to, naturism. Ben doesn’t put Abi right, and let’s her believe it’s about trees and birds! He didn’t tell her because he wants revenge for dismantling his car. Michael and his religious friend Hubert tell Ben they are going to save him. But that he’s already going to Hell. Ben picks up his book to read only to find that Michael has hidden the Bible in the dust cover. The Manchester police arrive on the doorstep looking for Janey. Susan lies to them telling them they haven’t seen Janey for 14months and that she doesn’t live there anymore. Ben and Susan are in bed discussing why Janey may be wanted by the police. Ben is now forced into reading Joanna Trollope as Michael has hidden his Tom Clancy. It suddenly dawns on Susan that Janey may be in real trouble and that she has lied to the police. Abi tells Ben that she enjoyed her first naturist meeting and that she is going on a picnic with them. Janey returns with lots of shopping. Susan asks her if she paid for the clothes, she hasn’t, she put them on Ben’s credit card. Susan tells her that the police are looking for her. Janey panics, and Susan becomes more concerned she has lied to the police. Ben is fine with the police situation because it in not affecting him. In bed Susan is worried about her lying to the police. She’s worried that her and Janey might end up in prison together. Ben is now reduced to trying to read one of Kenzo’s books. Michael asks Janey why the police are after her. He tells her he knows that she didn’t drop out she was kicked out of uni. He phoned her tutor. He won’t tell Ben & Susan if Janey attends one of his bible classes. Susan finds Abi and two of her naturist friends on the sofa having tea. George is a solicitor and Sandra works for the Citizen’s Advice Bureau. After Susan recovers from the shock of seeing naked strangers in her living room, she asks for George’s advice about her lying to the police. Ben arrives home to find Michael holding a bible group session in the kitchen, where they are happily singing ‘Give me oil in my lamp’, he interrupts them and asks why Michael can’t be a normal kid by getting drunk and coming home with a tattoo. He orders them out. Ben heads for the lounge for a breath of sanity, after the madness in the kitchen and is confronted by Abi’s new friends. He heads for the pub and while in there bumps into a vicar. The vicar is just as miserable as Ben who persists in telling him all his problems. The vicar tells Ben that he finds the answer is in drink. Ben returns home elated, and tells Susan he met a guy in the pub who was just as miserable as him and he didn’t even have kids! He decides to turn over a new leaf and to not let the kids get him down, Susan thinks that the man in the pub may have given him something other than drink to make him think this way. Ben’s tries out his new image the next morning and tells Janey that Kenzo and her can stay as long as she likes in the house. Janey is touched for a moment, then says that there’s no way she would ever do that. She has instead found a flat nearby so she won’t have to be interrogated by Susan and Ben, and can be close enough to bring Kenzo over for them to baby sit! She then tells Ben she need’s a deposit and the first month’s rent in advance. Ben flips at this, and says that he’s not going to be Mr Pretending-to-be-nice-guy, things couldn’t get any worse in his eyes, Michael enters saying the police have arrived. Susan says that she will handle it, and heads into the living room to meet them. The police know that Janey has been to the house, and they still need to speak to her. Susan gives in and tells them she’s in the kitchen. Janey bursts in and tells the policeman (Gareth) that she doesn’t want to see him, it turns out the policeman is an ex-boyfriend and still wants to make a go of their relationship. Janey tells him that it just wasn’t the same after he was promoted to plain clothes. Gareth leaves, distraught. But the accompanying policeman tries his luck with Janey in his uniform, till Gareth calls for him to follow. Ben is upset that Janey has dumped the policeman, as he must be earning a good amount. Susan asks why she didn’t tell them in the first place, Janey says that they would never have covered up for her if they knew the truth. Ben isn’t going to fall for this, but Susan does and forgives Janey" ["_episode_summary"]=> string(19) "field_57471e34d33f4" ["gallery"]=> string(0) "" ["_gallery"]=> string(19) "field_57471e55d33f5" ["cast_selection"]=> array(5) { [0]=> string(3) "100" [1]=> string(3) "105" [2]=> string(3) "109" [3]=> string(3) "111" [4]=> string(3) "115" } ["_cast_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471e7bd33f6" ["additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(14) "Colin Procktor" ["_additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(6) "George" ["_additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(11) "Jiggy Bhore" ["_additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(6) "Sandra" ["_additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(15) "John Hodgkinson" ["_additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(5) "Vicar" ["_additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(16) "Peter Ferdinando" ["_additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(6) "Gareth" ["_additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(11) "Alex Dawson" ["_additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(6) "Hubert" ["_additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(14) "Renton Skinner" ["_additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(7) "Spencer" ["_additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(19) "Thomas & Noah Davis" ["_additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(10) "Baby Kenzo" ["_additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts"]=> string(1) "7" ["_additional_casts"]=> string(19) "field_57471eefd33f7" ["team_selection"]=> array(5) { [0]=> string(3) "674" [1]=> string(3) "534" [2]=> string(3) "536" [3]=> string(3) "529" [4]=> string(3) "540" } ["_team_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471ffed33fa" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 21:12:38" ["comment_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(24) "s05e02-the-mummy-returns" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 21:12:38" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 21:12:38" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["guid"]=> string(54) "http://myfamilyontv.com/?post_type=episode&p=1025" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" ["status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["custom"]=> array(45) { ["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488492375:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_14"]=> string(1) "1" ["episode_name"]=> string(22) "02 - The Mummy Returns" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(67) "Janey comes back home from University and Susan lies to the police." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(6275) "Ben is reading his Tom Clancy novel, while Susan is banging the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together. Susan complains that it is too quiet. Ben is pleased that Janey is at uni, Nick’s got his own flat, Michael is near-normal, and Abi’s always out at an evening class. Ben enters the kitchen to find a car engine in pieces on the kitchen table. Abi has started car maintenance classes. It turns out she is experimenting with Ben’s car. Susan suggests that maybe car maintenance wasn’t the best choice for Abi. Abi agrees and leaves the engine in parts as her car fixing days are over. Ben asks Michael for his help to shift the car engine. Michael says he can’t as it is Sunday and he has found religion. He has been born again which means there will be no more selfishness or sin, only bible study and silent contemplation. Janey arrives with baby Kenzo, she has dropped out of university and is moving back in. 3 burly men carry all of Janey’s possessions in. Ben and Susan are in bed. Susan is concerned about why Janey left Manchester. She thinks there may be a man involved. Ben suggests that maybe she just dropped out. Susan says that it is up to Ben to question Janey, as she never tells Susan anything. With any luck the man in Janey’s life (if indeed there is one) may prove to be serious and Ben’s days of supporting Janey may be coming to an end! Janey’s cooking breakfast. Ben tries questioning Janey, she tells him to butt out. Michael insists on them saying grace before tucking into breakfast. Michael tells Ben that he is going to hell as he is not taking Michael’s religion seriously. Susan tries questioning Janey after Ben’s feeble attempt. Susan has much more success, Ben masterfully tells Janey to either get married or go back to uni. Abi tells Ben that she has found a new class to go to, naturism. Ben doesn’t put Abi right, and let’s her believe it’s about trees and birds! He didn’t tell her because he wants revenge for dismantling his car. Michael and his religious friend Hubert tell Ben they are going to save him. But that he’s already going to Hell. Ben picks up his book to read only to find that Michael has hidden the Bible in the dust cover. The Manchester police arrive on the doorstep looking for Janey. Susan lies to them telling them they haven’t seen Janey for 14months and that she doesn’t live there anymore. Ben and Susan are in bed discussing why Janey may be wanted by the police. Ben is now forced into reading Joanna Trollope as Michael has hidden his Tom Clancy. It suddenly dawns on Susan that Janey may be in real trouble and that she has lied to the police. Abi tells Ben that she enjoyed her first naturist meeting and that she is going on a picnic with them. Janey returns with lots of shopping. Susan asks her if she paid for the clothes, she hasn’t, she put them on Ben’s credit card. Susan tells her that the police are looking for her. Janey panics, and Susan becomes more concerned she has lied to the police. Ben is fine with the police situation because it in not affecting him. In bed Susan is worried about her lying to the police. She’s worried that her and Janey might end up in prison together. Ben is now reduced to trying to read one of Kenzo’s books. Michael asks Janey why the police are after her. He tells her he knows that she didn’t drop out she was kicked out of uni. He phoned her tutor. He won’t tell Ben & Susan if Janey attends one of his bible classes. Susan finds Abi and two of her naturist friends on the sofa having tea. George is a solicitor and Sandra works for the Citizen’s Advice Bureau. After Susan recovers from the shock of seeing naked strangers in her living room, she asks for George’s advice about her lying to the police. Ben arrives home to find Michael holding a bible group session in the kitchen, where they are happily singing ‘Give me oil in my lamp’, he interrupts them and asks why Michael can’t be a normal kid by getting drunk and coming home with a tattoo. He orders them out. Ben heads for the lounge for a breath of sanity, after the madness in the kitchen and is confronted by Abi’s new friends. He heads for the pub and while in there bumps into a vicar. The vicar is just as miserable as Ben who persists in telling him all his problems. The vicar tells Ben that he finds the answer is in drink. Ben returns home elated, and tells Susan he met a guy in the pub who was just as miserable as him and he didn’t even have kids! He decides to turn over a new leaf and to not let the kids get him down, Susan thinks that the man in the pub may have given him something other than drink to make him think this way. Ben’s tries out his new image the next morning and tells Janey that Kenzo and her can stay as long as she likes in the house. Janey is touched for a moment, then says that there’s no way she would ever do that. She has instead found a flat nearby so she won’t have to be interrogated by Susan and Ben, and can be close enough to bring Kenzo over for them to baby sit! She then tells Ben she need’s a deposit and the first month’s rent in advance. Ben flips at this, and says that he’s not going to be Mr Pretending-to-be-nice-guy, things couldn’t get any worse in his eyes, Michael enters saying the police have arrived. Susan says that she will handle it, and heads into the living room to meet them. The police know that Janey has been to the house, and they still need to speak to her. Susan gives in and tells them she’s in the kitchen. Janey bursts in and tells the policeman (Gareth) that she doesn’t want to see him, it turns out the policeman is an ex-boyfriend and still wants to make a go of their relationship. Janey tells him that it just wasn’t the same after he was promoted to plain clothes. Gareth leaves, distraught. But the accompanying policeman tries his luck with Janey in his uniform, till Gareth calls for him to follow. Ben is upset that Janey has dumped the policeman, as he must be earning a good amount. Susan asks why she didn’t tell them in the first place, Janey says that they would never have covered up for her if they knew the truth. Ben isn’t going to fall for this, but Susan does and forgives Janey" ["_episode_summary"]=> string(19) "field_57471e34d33f4" ["gallery"]=> string(0) "" ["_gallery"]=> string(19) "field_57471e55d33f5" ["cast_selection"]=> array(5) { [0]=> string(3) "100" [1]=> string(3) "105" [2]=> string(3) "109" [3]=> string(3) "111" [4]=> string(3) "115" } ["_cast_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471e7bd33f6" ["additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(14) "Colin Procktor" ["_additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(6) "George" ["_additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(11) "Jiggy Bhore" ["_additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(6) "Sandra" ["_additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(15) "John Hodgkinson" ["_additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(5) "Vicar" ["_additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(16) "Peter Ferdinando" ["_additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(6) "Gareth" ["_additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(11) "Alex Dawson" ["_additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(6) "Hubert" ["_additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(14) "Renton Skinner" ["_additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(7) "Spencer" ["_additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(19) "Thomas & Noah Davis" ["_additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(10) "Baby Kenzo" ["_additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts"]=> string(1) "7" ["_additional_casts"]=> string(19) "field_57471eefd33f7" ["team_selection"]=> array(5) { [0]=> string(3) "674" [1]=> string(3) "534" [2]=> string(3) "536" [3]=> string(3) "529" [4]=> string(3) "540" } ["_team_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471ffed33fa" } } [72]=> object(Timber\Post)#9329 (55) { ["ImageClass"]=> string(12) "Timber\Image" ["PostClass"]=> string(11) "Timber\Post" ["TermClass"]=> string(11) "Timber\Term" ["object_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["_content":protected]=> NULL ["_permalink":protected]=> NULL ["_next":protected]=> array(0) { } ["_prev":protected]=> array(0) { } ["class"]=> string(77) "post-1023 episode type-episode status-publish hentry series_category-series-5" ["id"]=> int(1023) ["ID"]=> int(1023) ["post_author"]=> string(1) "2" ["post_content"]=> string(0) "" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 21:08:11" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["post_title"]=> string(37) "S05E01 - My Family Reloaded 'Special'" ["post_type"]=> string(7) "episode" ["slug"]=> string(33) "s05e01-my-family-reloaded-special" ["__type":protected]=> NULL ["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488492387:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_14"]=> string(1) "0" ["episode_name"]=> string(33) "01 - My Family Reloaded 'Special'" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(67) "Ben breaks Susan's leg, which forces them to reflect upon the past." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3542) "An argument between Ben and Susan in the bedroom, causes them to re-visit earlier times. Susan is in bed reading, Ben comes into the room acting sheepish and asks if she’s angry with him, she tells him she isn’t and that she forgives him. He gives Susan her favourite chocolates to cheer her up, she opens them and realises he has bought her Turkish Delight, she HATES Turkish delight! Susan flips and throws the chocolates back at him. He tries to kiss and make up and he reveals Susan with her leg in plaster. She tells him to leave her leg, as he’s already caused enough trouble and it’s the one thing he’s good at… RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES HERE. Back in the bedroom… Ben is angry with Susan for bringing up everything he’s ever done wrong. Susan tells him that her leg being in plaster was his fault, even though she forgave him, this is because he was listening to the football on the radio while she was loading the boot with shopping and he ran her over. Ben tells her that she is enjoying being a martyr… RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES HERE. Back in the bedroom… Ben says he hates the way Susan argues; Susan agrees the same about him. He says that she argues the wrong way and always wants to win the argument rather than sort the problem out. She agrees, meaning Ben has won the argument. She thinks that Ben winning the argument doesn’t mean he’s right, it just means that he’s a good arguer! Ben replies saying she’s not making any sense, Susan agrees saying it must run in the family… RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES HERE. Back in the bedroom… Susan believes that Ben will not leave her because he has got into bed with her. Ben tells her that he’ll leave her when he’s ready, not under her timetable! Susan says that she’ll leave him first, he disagrees saying she’ll never leave the house, being that it’s her domain, and that she doesn’t have anywhere to go. She tells him she still has her children! Ben thinks he can live with that… RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES HERE. Back in the bedroom… The argument has reached the silent stage, they are both in bed reading and ignoring each other. Ben shuts his book suddenly making Susan jump, then he settles down to sleep leaving his bedside light on. Susan turns hers off and realises he has left his light on. She is about to ask him to turn it off, and thinks better of it, so she struggles to get out of bed with her leg in plaster and limps around the bed. Just before she reaches the light, he clicks it off and snuggles back down. Susan fumes and limps back round the bed to her side, as she gets into bed and settles, Ben turns the light back on. Susan is furious and hits him with her plastered leg! RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES Back in the bedroom… Ben starts tugging the duvet, as does Susan, they get into a fight with the duvet, ending with Susan making Ben fall with the duvet off the bed completely. Susan falls about laughing at him, and he clambers back on the bed, and starts to tickle her. She giggles and tells him not to, until she finally gives in and tells him to carry on… RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES Back in the bedroom… We return to see them lying together on the bed, Ben thinks it would be a nice idea to have some champagne, he tries to move, but has pulled his back out. They call for the kids, and are about to call for Nick when they think better of it." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3542) "An argument between Ben and Susan in the bedroom, causes them to re-visit earlier times. Susan is in bed reading, Ben comes into the room acting sheepish and asks if she’s angry with him, she tells him she isn’t and that she forgives him. He gives Susan her favourite chocolates to cheer her up, she opens them and realises he has bought her Turkish Delight, she HATES Turkish delight! Susan flips and throws the chocolates back at him. He tries to kiss and make up and he reveals Susan with her leg in plaster. She tells him to leave her leg, as he’s already caused enough trouble and it’s the one thing he’s good at… RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES HERE. Back in the bedroom… Ben is angry with Susan for bringing up everything he’s ever done wrong. Susan tells him that her leg being in plaster was his fault, even though she forgave him, this is because he was listening to the football on the radio while she was loading the boot with shopping and he ran her over. Ben tells her that she is enjoying being a martyr… RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES HERE. Back in the bedroom… Ben says he hates the way Susan argues; Susan agrees the same about him. He says that she argues the wrong way and always wants to win the argument rather than sort the problem out. She agrees, meaning Ben has won the argument. She thinks that Ben winning the argument doesn’t mean he’s right, it just means that he’s a good arguer! Ben replies saying she’s not making any sense, Susan agrees saying it must run in the family… RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES HERE. Back in the bedroom… Susan believes that Ben will not leave her because he has got into bed with her. Ben tells her that he’ll leave her when he’s ready, not under her timetable! Susan says that she’ll leave him first, he disagrees saying she’ll never leave the house, being that it’s her domain, and that she doesn’t have anywhere to go. She tells him she still has her children! Ben thinks he can live with that… RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES HERE. Back in the bedroom… The argument has reached the silent stage, they are both in bed reading and ignoring each other. Ben shuts his book suddenly making Susan jump, then he settles down to sleep leaving his bedside light on. Susan turns hers off and realises he has left his light on. She is about to ask him to turn it off, and thinks better of it, so she struggles to get out of bed with her leg in plaster and limps around the bed. Just before she reaches the light, he clicks it off and snuggles back down. Susan fumes and limps back round the bed to her side, as she gets into bed and settles, Ben turns the light back on. Susan is furious and hits him with her plastered leg! RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES Back in the bedroom… Ben starts tugging the duvet, as does Susan, they get into a fight with the duvet, ending with Susan making Ben fall with the duvet off the bed completely. Susan falls about laughing at him, and he clambers back on the bed, and starts to tickle her. She giggles and tells him not to, until she finally gives in and tells him to carry on… RECAP OF PREVIOUS SCENES FROM EARLIER EPISODES Back in the bedroom… We return to see them lying together on the bed, Ben thinks it would be a nice idea to have some champagne, he tries to move, but has pulled his back out. They call for the kids, and are about to call for Nick when they think better of it." 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The Harper family have been on a Christmas shopping trip and are returning home on the tube, when the tube stops for no apparent reason. Nick turns into the voice of doom and says they could be down there for at least a year and upsets the couple sitting beside Ben and Susan, Mr Hall is getting very upset with Nick. Ben refuses to help. Michael goes off exploring. Nick thinks their situation is like the film Cannibal Holocaust. Susan sees it as an opportunity to meet new people. She starts chatting to two Estonian tourists, and manages to upset them by her lack of knowledge in their country, and find her patronising. They like Ben though. Nick thinks there may be a war going on up above the tube, and they may be the only people left alive. Mr and Mrs Hall are even more upset. Michael returns, he has met a girl called Claire and taken her on a date in carriage number 3. The driver comes over the tannoy again and says their delay is due to a failure, but he doesn’t say what sort of failure. Nick goes to prove the tannoy is a recording, but it isn’t and he is subject to a £1,000 fine. Susan decides to rally the passengers and tells them she is trained to handle crises such as these and they are all welcome to tell her their problems. Ben is mortified. Michael goes off to see his girlfriend. Later we see Susan playing guessing games and still trying to jolly the passengers up unsuccessfully. The driver comes on the tannoy again, and says he thinks they have been forgotten. He has no idea what the delay is caused by. It is now getting very hot and unpleasant in the carriage. Susan now decides they need to leave the carriage and walk to safety down the track. No one agrees to go with her though. Ben is thirsty, there is a sleeping drunk in the corner with a can, and Nick has a bag full of bottled water. He refuses to give Ben a drink though as he was rude about why he had bought them earlier. He decides to charge Ben £20, when another passenger comes up and gives Nick a cookbook in exchange for a bottle of water. Ben agrees to pay the twenty pounds but Nick realises he can get more and puts the price up to forty pounds a bottle. Susan has now decorated the carriage with paper chains. Ben is still asking for water, he asks Mr Hall but he refuses. Michael brings Claire in to meet Ben and Susan. A Romanian folk group come in dancing, it turns out to be Abi and much to Abi’s surprise the accordionist turns out to be Roger Bailey, and the violinist owns up that he is not Romanian either. Claire dumps Michael but he is not upset, he goes off to find other girls. Nick has found a celebrity in another carriage, and he brings Richard Whiteley to meet Ben and Susan. He has told Richard that Ben and Susan have food for him, which they do not. The driver has found a book of The Christmas Carol which he reads over the tannoy to help pass the time. Ben, now desperate for a drink, tries to steel the water bottle from Mr Hall, and then the tin of lager from the drunk, which turns out to be empty. Nick returns now covered in his spoils from swapping his water. Susan tells the driver he needs to just move the train on and proceeds to argue with him until he cuts her off. Mrs Hall goes into a faint, Ben tries to help and a riot starts up in the carriage. The driver comes over the tannoy and says they can go again, but he won’t move on until Susan apologises to him for all the offensive things she said. Susan decides to sit it out.
" ["_episode_summary"]=> string(19) "field_57471e34d33f4" ["gallery"]=> string(0) "" ["_gallery"]=> string(19) "field_57471e55d33f5" ["cast_selection"]=> array(6) { [0]=> string(3) "100" [1]=> string(3) "105" [2]=> string(3) "107" [3]=> string(3) "109" [4]=> string(3) "115" [5]=> string(3) "477" } ["_cast_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471e7bd33f6" ["additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(15) "Patrick Godfrey" ["_additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(10) "Barry Hall" ["_additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(13) "Amanda Walker" ["_additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(13) "Patricia Hall" ["_additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(11) "Robert Webb" ["_additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(4) "Aryo" ["_additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(14) "Phillip Brodie" ["_additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(4) "Jaak" ["_additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(13) "Nigel Lindsay" ["_additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(3) "Roy" ["_additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(16) "Sydney Stevenson" ["_additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(6) "Sophie" ["_additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(13) "Tony Marshall" ["_additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(6) "Edmund" ["_additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(12) "Samuel Gough" ["_additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(16) "Romany Violinist" ["_additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_8_actor"]=> string(11) "Bobby Bragg" ["_additional_casts_8_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_8_character"]=> string(14) "Sleeping Drunk" ["_additional_casts_8_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts"]=> string(1) "9" ["_additional_casts"]=> string(19) "field_57471eefd33f7" ["team_selection"]=> array(6) { [0]=> string(3) "674" [1]=> string(3) "536" [2]=> string(3) "534" [3]=> string(3) "529" [4]=> string(3) "538" [5]=> string(3) "540" } ["_team_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471ffed33fa" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 20:41:04" ["comment_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(41) "s04e14-sixty-feet-under-christmas-special" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2017-03-03 15:24:31" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2017-03-03 15:24:31" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["guid"]=> string(54) "http://myfamilyontv.com/?post_type=episode&p=1014" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" ["status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["custom"]=> array(53) { ["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488554671:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_13"]=> string(2) "10" ["episode_name"]=> string(36) "Sixty Feet Under (Christmas Special)" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(77) "Richard Whitley guest stars as a shopping trip to london is abruptly stopped." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3547) "

The Harper family have been on a Christmas shopping trip and are returning home on the tube, when the tube stops for no apparent reason. Nick turns into the voice of doom and says they could be down there for at least a year and upsets the couple sitting beside Ben and Susan, Mr Hall is getting very upset with Nick. Ben refuses to help. Michael goes off exploring. Nick thinks their situation is like the film Cannibal Holocaust. Susan sees it as an opportunity to meet new people. She starts chatting to two Estonian tourists, and manages to upset them by her lack of knowledge in their country, and find her patronising. They like Ben though. Nick thinks there may be a war going on up above the tube, and they may be the only people left alive. Mr and Mrs Hall are even more upset. Michael returns, he has met a girl called Claire and taken her on a date in carriage number 3. The driver comes over the tannoy again and says their delay is due to a failure, but he doesn’t say what sort of failure. Nick goes to prove the tannoy is a recording, but it isn’t and he is subject to a £1,000 fine. Susan decides to rally the passengers and tells them she is trained to handle crises such as these and they are all welcome to tell her their problems. Ben is mortified. Michael goes off to see his girlfriend. Later we see Susan playing guessing games and still trying to jolly the passengers up unsuccessfully. The driver comes on the tannoy again, and says he thinks they have been forgotten. He has no idea what the delay is caused by. It is now getting very hot and unpleasant in the carriage. Susan now decides they need to leave the carriage and walk to safety down the track. No one agrees to go with her though. Ben is thirsty, there is a sleeping drunk in the corner with a can, and Nick has a bag full of bottled water. He refuses to give Ben a drink though as he was rude about why he had bought them earlier. He decides to charge Ben £20, when another passenger comes up and gives Nick a cookbook in exchange for a bottle of water. Ben agrees to pay the twenty pounds but Nick realises he can get more and puts the price up to forty pounds a bottle. Susan has now decorated the carriage with paper chains. Ben is still asking for water, he asks Mr Hall but he refuses. Michael brings Claire in to meet Ben and Susan. A Romanian folk group come in dancing, it turns out to be Abi and much to Abi’s surprise the accordionist turns out to be Roger Bailey, and the violinist owns up that he is not Romanian either. Claire dumps Michael but he is not upset, he goes off to find other girls. Nick has found a celebrity in another carriage, and he brings Richard Whiteley to meet Ben and Susan. He has told Richard that Ben and Susan have food for him, which they do not. The driver has found a book of The Christmas Carol which he reads over the tannoy to help pass the time. Ben, now desperate for a drink, tries to steel the water bottle from Mr Hall, and then the tin of lager from the drunk, which turns out to be empty. Nick returns now covered in his spoils from swapping his water. Susan tells the driver he needs to just move the train on and proceeds to argue with him until he cuts her off. Mrs Hall goes into a faint, Ben tries to help and a riot starts up in the carriage. The driver comes over the tannoy and says they can go again, but he won’t move on until Susan apologises to him for all the offensive things she said. Susan decides to sit it out.
" ["_episode_summary"]=> string(19) "field_57471e34d33f4" ["gallery"]=> string(0) "" ["_gallery"]=> string(19) "field_57471e55d33f5" ["cast_selection"]=> array(6) { [0]=> string(3) "100" [1]=> string(3) "105" [2]=> string(3) "107" [3]=> string(3) "109" [4]=> string(3) "115" [5]=> string(3) "477" } ["_cast_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471e7bd33f6" ["additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(15) "Patrick Godfrey" ["_additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(10) "Barry Hall" ["_additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(13) "Amanda Walker" ["_additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(13) "Patricia Hall" ["_additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(11) "Robert Webb" ["_additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(4) "Aryo" ["_additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(14) "Phillip Brodie" ["_additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(4) "Jaak" ["_additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(13) "Nigel Lindsay" ["_additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(3) "Roy" ["_additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(16) "Sydney Stevenson" ["_additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(6) "Sophie" ["_additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(13) "Tony Marshall" ["_additional_casts_6_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(6) "Edmund" ["_additional_casts_6_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(12) "Samuel Gough" ["_additional_casts_7_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(16) "Romany Violinist" ["_additional_casts_7_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_8_actor"]=> string(11) "Bobby Bragg" ["_additional_casts_8_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_8_character"]=> string(14) "Sleeping Drunk" ["_additional_casts_8_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts"]=> string(1) "9" ["_additional_casts"]=> string(19) "field_57471eefd33f7" ["team_selection"]=> array(6) { [0]=> string(3) "674" [1]=> string(3) "536" [2]=> string(3) "534" [3]=> string(3) "529" [4]=> string(3) "538" [5]=> string(3) "540" } ["_team_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471ffed33fa" } } [74]=> object(Timber\Post)#9331 (75) { ["ImageClass"]=> string(12) "Timber\Image" ["PostClass"]=> string(11) "Timber\Post" ["TermClass"]=> string(11) "Timber\Term" ["object_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["_content":protected]=> NULL ["_permalink":protected]=> NULL ["_next":protected]=> array(0) { } ["_prev":protected]=> array(0) { } ["class"]=> string(77) "post-1002 episode type-episode status-publish hentry series_category-series-4" ["id"]=> int(1002) ["ID"]=> int(1002) ["post_author"]=> string(1) "2" ["post_content"]=> string(0) "" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 20:36:26" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["post_title"]=> string(34) "S04E13 - It's A Window Filled Life" ["post_type"]=> string(7) "episode" ["slug"]=> string(31) "s04e13-its-a-window-filled-life" ["__type":protected]=> NULL ["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488492384:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_13"]=> string(2) "10" ["episode_name"]=> string(30) "13 - It's A Window Filled Life" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(61) "When Roger becomes sick, the Harper household is quarantined." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2117) "Michael shoots a rocket sausage and it smashes through the living room window. Michael is grounded. Ben has trouble taking out a tooth with a child patient and he decides to go home early, leaving all his afternoon patients for Roger. Nick is starting up a new business, he wants to borrow money from Susan as she was the one that stopped them firing sausages from Michaels launcher as his free delivery service. Susan would like Ben to mend the window. Susan takes food up to Michael and finds his girlfriend Fiona up there. She tells them Fiona has to leave as Michael is being punished. Ben is making hard work of trying to mend the window, and decides to pop out to the pub, when Roger arrives and hugs him and explains that one of the patients at the surgery has Ortiz River Fever. Roger has shut down the surgery, and he mustn’t come into close contact with other people until he is sure he hasn’t any other symptoms. He then hugs Susan!! Susan puts the whole household in quarantine, which means Fiona can’t leave either, much to Michael’s delight. Ben is still trying to mend the window, badly. Abi is not helping matters either. Nick arrives with a very large python round his neck, Pamela. Ben turns them away even though Pamela is pregnant. Susan tries to phone NHS direct to find out about Ortiz River fever. Nick is now trying to persuade Susan to let him in at the kitchen window. Nick explains that Pamela is his new business venture. Selling eggs from snakes. Ben is now convinced he has the fever. Susan is less than sympathetic, and tells him to fix the window quickly in case he dies quickly. Ben goes to the window and there is Nick, again with Pamela trying to get in. Roger is completely smitten with Abi and tries out poetry. It is lost on Abi and she thinks he has worms. Ben is just finishing the window when one of the panes he has mended Falls out. He becomes very fed up and leaves, climbing out of the window. All the mended panes fall out. Michael and Fiona are just about to strip when Susan calls and tells them she knows what they are doing, and to stop it." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2117) "Michael shoots a rocket sausage and it smashes through the living room window. Michael is grounded. Ben has trouble taking out a tooth with a child patient and he decides to go home early, leaving all his afternoon patients for Roger. Nick is starting up a new business, he wants to borrow money from Susan as she was the one that stopped them firing sausages from Michaels launcher as his free delivery service. Susan would like Ben to mend the window. Susan takes food up to Michael and finds his girlfriend Fiona up there. She tells them Fiona has to leave as Michael is being punished. Ben is making hard work of trying to mend the window, and decides to pop out to the pub, when Roger arrives and hugs him and explains that one of the patients at the surgery has Ortiz River Fever. Roger has shut down the surgery, and he mustn’t come into close contact with other people until he is sure he hasn’t any other symptoms. He then hugs Susan!! Susan puts the whole household in quarantine, which means Fiona can’t leave either, much to Michael’s delight. Ben is still trying to mend the window, badly. Abi is not helping matters either. Nick arrives with a very large python round his neck, Pamela. Ben turns them away even though Pamela is pregnant. Susan tries to phone NHS direct to find out about Ortiz River fever. Nick is now trying to persuade Susan to let him in at the kitchen window. Nick explains that Pamela is his new business venture. Selling eggs from snakes. Ben is now convinced he has the fever. Susan is less than sympathetic, and tells him to fix the window quickly in case he dies quickly. Ben goes to the window and there is Nick, again with Pamela trying to get in. Roger is completely smitten with Abi and tries out poetry. It is lost on Abi and she thinks he has worms. Ben is just finishing the window when one of the panes he has mended Falls out. He becomes very fed up and leaves, climbing out of the window. All the mended panes fall out. Michael and Fiona are just about to strip when Susan calls and tells them she knows what they are doing, and to stop it." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2338) "Ben arrives at the office to be told by Roger that a Richard Harper is coming to see Ben. Ben explains that he is Abi’s father. Roger is thrilled as he sees him as his future Father in Law. Ben decides to leave so he doesn’t have to meet him, but Richard turns up before Ben can leave. He wants Ben to be his best man at his wedding. When Ben tells Susan he has agreed to be the best man, Susan is worried about how Abi will take it. Ben says he will tell her. Michael is on strike about doing the washing up. Ben tries to tell Abi, but Susan ends up doing it! The washing up is piled high now, like a massive game of Jenga. Susan is still waiting for Michael to do it. Ben is writing his best man speech, and he is stuck. Nick offers to help him with the plans for the stag night. Michael and Nick have a heart to heart, and then they arm wrestle for who should do the washing up. Nick loses! Abi is very upset with Ben for agreeing to be Best Man. Nick and Ben plan the stag night. Abi explains to Susan that her father’s bride is three years younger than Abi herself. Susan decides she will not go the wedding, and plans to have a hen night alone with Abi. Susan is very wound up with Ben because the bride to be is so very young and she wants him to cancel the stag night. The night of the stag night arrives, there is no food, no booze and no music, and half the people who are there are at the wrong event and they leave. Richard is not impressed. Ben rings Nick and he says there is a stripper in the cake, but Ben explains the cake is not here!! Nick says he will track the cake down. Richard tries to leave but Ben begs him to stay. Abi and Susan are at home getting drunk when Nick comes in and begs one of them to go inside the cake. Back at the stag do, Ben is doing bird impressions, then he introduces Roger Bailey’s Menagerie of Rubber. Two heavies arrive to arrest Richard for car fraud. Susan is by this time dressed up and inside the cake, refusing to come out. Ben, who doesn’t know it is her is on the mobile trying to persuade her to come out. Susan pops out but she is at the wrong party. A large man with a pipe pops out of the stag night cake!! Back at home, Susan is pleased with Michael who has cleared up the kitchen, but when Susan opens the cupboard all the dirty plates fall out." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2338) "Ben arrives at the office to be told by Roger that a Richard Harper is coming to see Ben. Ben explains that he is Abi’s father. Roger is thrilled as he sees him as his future Father in Law. Ben decides to leave so he doesn’t have to meet him, but Richard turns up before Ben can leave. He wants Ben to be his best man at his wedding. When Ben tells Susan he has agreed to be the best man, Susan is worried about how Abi will take it. Ben says he will tell her. Michael is on strike about doing the washing up. Ben tries to tell Abi, but Susan ends up doing it! The washing up is piled high now, like a massive game of Jenga. Susan is still waiting for Michael to do it. Ben is writing his best man speech, and he is stuck. Nick offers to help him with the plans for the stag night. Michael and Nick have a heart to heart, and then they arm wrestle for who should do the washing up. Nick loses! Abi is very upset with Ben for agreeing to be Best Man. Nick and Ben plan the stag night. Abi explains to Susan that her father’s bride is three years younger than Abi herself. Susan decides she will not go the wedding, and plans to have a hen night alone with Abi. Susan is very wound up with Ben because the bride to be is so very young and she wants him to cancel the stag night. The night of the stag night arrives, there is no food, no booze and no music, and half the people who are there are at the wrong event and they leave. Richard is not impressed. Ben rings Nick and he says there is a stripper in the cake, but Ben explains the cake is not here!! Nick says he will track the cake down. Richard tries to leave but Ben begs him to stay. Abi and Susan are at home getting drunk when Nick comes in and begs one of them to go inside the cake. Back at the stag do, Ben is doing bird impressions, then he introduces Roger Bailey’s Menagerie of Rubber. 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Ben has a new digital camera." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3077) "Susan has won a free holiday for 4 in the Canaries, so Ben, Susan and the two boys arrive at their holiday apartment. Ben has invested in a digital camera at the duty free shop, and has lost his luggage on the flight. He has only the clothes he stands up in. Ben is snapping away at everything in sight and manages to take pictures of cracked tiles and building sites in the distance, but uses the zoom lens. Susan suggests that Ben borrow some of Nicks clothes. They meet their neighbours on the balcony. The boys want the bedroom with a sea view and Ben and Susan go clothes shopping for Susan, and she realises that her bag has been stolen. The police arrive and Susan tries to translate everything into Spanish, but Ben wonders who she is doing this for? As he doesn’t speak Spanish and they speak perfect English. Ben goes to pay and realises that he has had his credit cards stolen buy the ‘policemen’. Michael and Nick watch a bullfight, and Nick thinks it’s all special effects. Susan reports the stolen bag and credit cards to the insurance company in London, still trying out her Spanish, and Ben manages to take pictures of the lady neighbour sunbathing topless. Her husband comes rushing out and there is an incident, and he threatens Ben. They now have no money for three days, Susan thinks she will borrow money from the neighbours and Ben has to admit he took pictures of her breasts. As they are about to share out 1 slice of pizza between three, Nick scoffs it. He then owns up that he has money. He makes Ben Beg. He calls Michael on his mobile, Michael is in a bar doing deals. That night, Susan is sunburned, and Ben is swotting mosquitos. The neighbours hear all the noises through their adjoining bedroom wall. Nick gives Susan money for her creams from the chemist, but he still refuses to give Ben money for breakfast. Ben goes out onto the balcony and sees the remains of the neighbours breakfast, and helps himself. He then gets carried away and goes onto their balcony , not noticing the daughter is now sunbathing. The husband comes rushing out and punches Ben in the face. Susan tries out her Spanish in the chemist and makes lewd suggestions to the chemist, whose wife attacks her in front of the neighbours. That night, Ben and Susan are both nursing their bruises, when Nick offers to buy them dinner. Michael meanwhile is gambling. At the end of dinner Nick confesses he has no money, he has spent the money he had on a big hat. Nick has a plan, he had planted a cockroach in Ben’s salad so they would be given a free meal. Ben has eaten it. So they decide to make a run for it but Susan can’t because of her bites and sunburn. Back in the apartment, the neighbours arrive with the manager, complaining about Ben and his camera. He is ordered to delete all the pictures, which he duly does, and then comes across 15 pictures of Nicks bottom. The credit cards arrive, the waiter and the chef arrive and Ben books himself on a first class flight home. We see Michael, in a plush hotel being served breakfast in bed." 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Ben has a new digital camera." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3077) "Susan has won a free holiday for 4 in the Canaries, so Ben, Susan and the two boys arrive at their holiday apartment. Ben has invested in a digital camera at the duty free shop, and has lost his luggage on the flight. He has only the clothes he stands up in. Ben is snapping away at everything in sight and manages to take pictures of cracked tiles and building sites in the distance, but uses the zoom lens. Susan suggests that Ben borrow some of Nicks clothes. They meet their neighbours on the balcony. The boys want the bedroom with a sea view and Ben and Susan go clothes shopping for Susan, and she realises that her bag has been stolen. The police arrive and Susan tries to translate everything into Spanish, but Ben wonders who she is doing this for? As he doesn’t speak Spanish and they speak perfect English. Ben goes to pay and realises that he has had his credit cards stolen buy the ‘policemen’. Michael and Nick watch a bullfight, and Nick thinks it’s all special effects. Susan reports the stolen bag and credit cards to the insurance company in London, still trying out her Spanish, and Ben manages to take pictures of the lady neighbour sunbathing topless. Her husband comes rushing out and there is an incident, and he threatens Ben. They now have no money for three days, Susan thinks she will borrow money from the neighbours and Ben has to admit he took pictures of her breasts. As they are about to share out 1 slice of pizza between three, Nick scoffs it. He then owns up that he has money. He makes Ben Beg. He calls Michael on his mobile, Michael is in a bar doing deals. That night, Susan is sunburned, and Ben is swotting mosquitos. The neighbours hear all the noises through their adjoining bedroom wall. Nick gives Susan money for her creams from the chemist, but he still refuses to give Ben money for breakfast. Ben goes out onto the balcony and sees the remains of the neighbours breakfast, and helps himself. He then gets carried away and goes onto their balcony , not noticing the daughter is now sunbathing. The husband comes rushing out and punches Ben in the face. Susan tries out her Spanish in the chemist and makes lewd suggestions to the chemist, whose wife attacks her in front of the neighbours. That night, Ben and Susan are both nursing their bruises, when Nick offers to buy them dinner. Michael meanwhile is gambling. At the end of dinner Nick confesses he has no money, he has spent the money he had on a big hat. Nick has a plan, he had planted a cockroach in Ben’s salad so they would be given a free meal. Ben has eaten it. So they decide to make a run for it but Susan can’t because of her bites and sunburn. Back in the apartment, the neighbours arrive with the manager, complaining about Ben and his camera. He is ordered to delete all the pictures, which he duly does, and then comes across 15 pictures of Nicks bottom. The credit cards arrive, the waiter and the chef arrive and Ben books himself on a first class flight home. We see Michael, in a plush hotel being served breakfast in bed." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2589) "Susan gets a call from Michael’s headmaster. Michael has been playing truant. Roger is in love with Abi, and tells Ben he has finally become Abi’s friend, which Ben explains is the kiss of death to a relationship. Susan summons Ben to meet her at the school. The meeting with the headmaster doesn’t go well for Susan, he tells Ben and Susan that Ben’s relaxed attitude is much better than Susan’s. He sends them to parenting classes. Michael tells them they are indeed bad parents, and Ben tells Susan to give the boy some space. Roger tries to explain that he has become Abi’s friend, and Susan tells him there is no excitement in being nice, that it is both boring and dull, and that Roger is too nice. Ben and Susan attend the class and meet up with Roy and Liz, who are regulars. They both support Arsenal. The headmaster turns out to be the counsellor much to Ben and Susan’s horror. Susan sneaks Ben a note about the headmaster and Ben is called up to read it. Embarrassed Ben blames Susan. The headmaster picks Susan out as being a terrible parent, and Susan is very upset with Ben. Ben tries to explain that he is indeed the perfect parent and that Susan is the problem. He suggests Susan try and be a little more like Ben. A little more hands off. Susan takes this to the extreme and takes no notice of anything Michael does, lets the house go to pot and slobs out on the sofa. Meanwhile, Roger is learning how to be a cool swine by studying Ben at work. Ben arranges to meet up with his new friends Roy and Liz at a football match and Roger arrives clutching a Vinnie Jones book, dressed up as a tough guy. He decides to take a tough approach with Abi but can’t keep it up. Susan is fighting the urge to finally clean up her mess when Ben arrives home the worse for wear with a piercing. Michael sneaks in late and wonders why no one cares. Ben tells Michael he has an earring in and then throws up all over him. The next day Michael wants to see Ben when he gets back from work. Michael fires him, on the grounds that he is now superfluous to requirements. Now that Susan is not doing anything either, there is no need for Ben. He is expendable. He give him a fob watch for his retirement present. Susan makes Ben admit she was right all along, and Ben wants her to go hands on parenting again. Abi and Michael have a chat and she orders him back to school. Susan comes in and orders him back to school as well. Ben asks Michael for his old job back. Roger comes in and tries the hard approach with Abi, who slaps his face. Roger is delighted." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2589) "Susan gets a call from Michael’s headmaster. Michael has been playing truant. Roger is in love with Abi, and tells Ben he has finally become Abi’s friend, which Ben explains is the kiss of death to a relationship. Susan summons Ben to meet her at the school. The meeting with the headmaster doesn’t go well for Susan, he tells Ben and Susan that Ben’s relaxed attitude is much better than Susan’s. He sends them to parenting classes. Michael tells them they are indeed bad parents, and Ben tells Susan to give the boy some space. Roger tries to explain that he has become Abi’s friend, and Susan tells him there is no excitement in being nice, that it is both boring and dull, and that Roger is too nice. Ben and Susan attend the class and meet up with Roy and Liz, who are regulars. They both support Arsenal. The headmaster turns out to be the counsellor much to Ben and Susan’s horror. Susan sneaks Ben a note about the headmaster and Ben is called up to read it. Embarrassed Ben blames Susan. The headmaster picks Susan out as being a terrible parent, and Susan is very upset with Ben. Ben tries to explain that he is indeed the perfect parent and that Susan is the problem. He suggests Susan try and be a little more like Ben. A little more hands off. Susan takes this to the extreme and takes no notice of anything Michael does, lets the house go to pot and slobs out on the sofa. Meanwhile, Roger is learning how to be a cool swine by studying Ben at work. Ben arranges to meet up with his new friends Roy and Liz at a football match and Roger arrives clutching a Vinnie Jones book, dressed up as a tough guy. He decides to take a tough approach with Abi but can’t keep it up. Susan is fighting the urge to finally clean up her mess when Ben arrives home the worse for wear with a piercing. Michael sneaks in late and wonders why no one cares. Ben tells Michael he has an earring in and then throws up all over him. The next day Michael wants to see Ben when he gets back from work. Michael fires him, on the grounds that he is now superfluous to requirements. Now that Susan is not doing anything either, there is no need for Ben. He is expendable. He give him a fob watch for his retirement present. Susan makes Ben admit she was right all along, and Ben wants her to go hands on parenting again. Abi and Michael have a chat and she orders him back to school. Susan comes in and orders him back to school as well. Ben asks Michael for his old job back. Roger comes in and tries the hard approach with Abi, who slaps his face. Roger is delighted." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2489) "Nick has two girlfriends and is sharing out evenly a bouquet of flowers into two piles. Susan receives a postcard, which she reads out to Ben, but when he asks who Bill and Joyce are she has no idea! Michael wants Ben to read his geography project, everyone else has read it apart from him. Ben says he hasn’t even time to read the paper. Nick cuts a box of chocolates in half to give each girl some chocolates too. Ben is jealous. Monique rings for Nick. He then has to share the flowers into three piles. Susan suggests that Ben do some Father and son stuff together, to stop him turning like Nick. Ben goes to have a heart to heart with Michael and he informs Ben what a useless parent he is. Ben is very upset, and doesn’t understand why no one likes him. Nick, meanwhile has found the perfect present for his three girlfriends. A kitkat. One stick for each and one for himself. Ben is jealous of Nick having three girls at once and is completely depressed. He suddenly sees baby Kenzo, who they are babysitting for Janey. Ben sees him as yet another victim for Susan. Janey has left a list of instructions, which Susan puts in the bin as she doesn’t need it, she knows what to do. Ben is still trying to become friends with Michael, he has bought him an outdated toy, and ends up agreeing to a space watch for UFO’s with him on Friday night in Michael’s bedroom. Susan can’t wake the baby even with the help of banging pans together. Finally he wakes up crying and Ben and Susan try in vain to pacify him. Nick walks in to the screaming, can’t hear himself think, picks up baby Kenzo and he stops instantly. Ben tells him Nick can’t go out as he has to help with Kenzo. Nick finishes with his three girlfriends on the house phone and the mobile, all at the same time. Michael and Ben are sitting in the dark looking for UFO’s. All Ben finds is Nick out for an evening stroll on the roof. Susan is still trying to cope with Baby Kenzo, and they find out Janey is not coming back for the whole night. They ask Nick for help and he gets into their bed with them to cope with the baby. It’s a restless night, Nick can’t sleep and wants to give Michael to Janey and keep the baby. The next morning Ben takes the crying baby from Susan and stops him crying. Susan orders them all out, and finally looks at Janey’s note. Nick tries to get his three girlfriends back, and Michael makes Ben own up to the whole family that he really believes in UFO’s." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2489) "Nick has two girlfriends and is sharing out evenly a bouquet of flowers into two piles. Susan receives a postcard, which she reads out to Ben, but when he asks who Bill and Joyce are she has no idea! Michael wants Ben to read his geography project, everyone else has read it apart from him. Ben says he hasn’t even time to read the paper. Nick cuts a box of chocolates in half to give each girl some chocolates too. Ben is jealous. Monique rings for Nick. He then has to share the flowers into three piles. Susan suggests that Ben do some Father and son stuff together, to stop him turning like Nick. Ben goes to have a heart to heart with Michael and he informs Ben what a useless parent he is. Ben is very upset, and doesn’t understand why no one likes him. Nick, meanwhile has found the perfect present for his three girlfriends. A kitkat. One stick for each and one for himself. Ben is jealous of Nick having three girls at once and is completely depressed. He suddenly sees baby Kenzo, who they are babysitting for Janey. Ben sees him as yet another victim for Susan. Janey has left a list of instructions, which Susan puts in the bin as she doesn’t need it, she knows what to do. Ben is still trying to become friends with Michael, he has bought him an outdated toy, and ends up agreeing to a space watch for UFO’s with him on Friday night in Michael’s bedroom. Susan can’t wake the baby even with the help of banging pans together. Finally he wakes up crying and Ben and Susan try in vain to pacify him. Nick walks in to the screaming, can’t hear himself think, picks up baby Kenzo and he stops instantly. Ben tells him Nick can’t go out as he has to help with Kenzo. Nick finishes with his three girlfriends on the house phone and the mobile, all at the same time. Michael and Ben are sitting in the dark looking for UFO’s. All Ben finds is Nick out for an evening stroll on the roof. Susan is still trying to cope with Baby Kenzo, and they find out Janey is not coming back for the whole night. They ask Nick for help and he gets into their bed with them to cope with the baby. It’s a restless night, Nick can’t sleep and wants to give Michael to Janey and keep the baby. The next morning Ben takes the crying baby from Susan and stops him crying. Susan orders them all out, and finally looks at Janey’s note. Nick tries to get his three girlfriends back, and Michael makes Ben own up to the whole family that he really believes in UFO’s." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(5192) "Susan and Abi are scooping out pumpkins at breakfast time. Ben would rather have coffee. He doesn’t want to be in the Halloween spirit. He thinks of it as a scam. Susan tells Ben he must be home by six as that is when the fun starts. Abi can’t help as she is going to a fancy dress party. Michael will be out at the cinema, but he has made Abi a fright mask. It is a picture of Bens face. We see Ben come home, the house is decorated completely for Halloween a house or horrors. Susan is dressed as a witch, and overacting terribly, which Ben refuses to notice. He does not want to join in. She has hired him a costume but he won’t wear it. Susan puts the radio on, it is supposedly a news flash about a dangerous lunatic who has escaped. The doorbell rings, and Ben goes. It is Trick or treaters. They curse the house and then they end up throwing an egg at him. Ben changes and the doorbell goes again. Susan refuses to answer the door because she has to jump out at them to scare them. Mr Green the neighbour is at the door, and leaves young Timmy, a vampire, to visit. Timmy is not impressed with the house, or with Susan’s witch impression. She offers him a sweet and he pulls out a big fake spider, shows him the skeleton in the cupboard, and he is still not frightened. Ben tells Timmy that ghosts don’t exist, and he goes into a long Speech about the fact that there is nothing after death. Timmy cries, and Susan tries to comfort him, she thinks it was the skeleton that frightened him. Ben opens the fridge door and there is a ghoul in it. The door rings again. It is Roger Bailey, dressed as a ghost. Susan and Roger scare each other, This reminds Ben of a Westlife concert, and they go into the kitchen to apple bob. The doorbell rings again, it is trick or treaters. Ben recognises them, and they all throw eggs at him. We see Ben coming down stairs in yet another clean shirt. His Beer has had fake blood put in it, which goes all over his mouth, although he doesn’t realise. Susan and Roger both deny putting the blood in the beer can. The doorbell goes again, and Roger in his ghost costume goes and answers it with all the sweets. Roger has heard about the lunatic on the loose, which has made him a little uneasy. Ben tries to explain it was Susan and he thinks Ben means Susan is the loony. The doorbell goes again, but the kids have eaten the sweets already. Susan and Roger look around for things to give them. Roger finds Family Circle which he starts to read avidly. Susan opens the door, and the kids are carol singing at this point. Someone has put a skeleton on the sofa reading the paper. Ben borrows it from him. Susan offers them an old biro, batteries, and a key to bleed the radiator. She then slams the door in their face. We hear them shouting their complaints through the door. Susan tells Ben she didn’t put the skeleton on the sofa, and nor did Roger. The plot thickens. Roger thinks it may have been the escaped lunatic. The doorbell goes again and Abi dressed as a cheese comes in, in a panic because of all the kids outside. The party was alright, but the doors were a bit narrow for Abi’s costume. We see the kids at the window shouting. Then they notice that the kids have set fire to the garden furniture. Ben rings the police who don’t want to come because they say it’s just kids. They all sit in the living room with the curtains pulled. Susan thinks they’re calming down, Ben opens the curtains to check, and the kids jeer and throw yet another egg which splats on the window. Roger says he will go out and buy them sweets. Dressed in his sheet. Susan says Ben is being childish because he won’t wear his costume. They bicker and Ben talks himself into wearing the costume. Roger comes back in covered in eggs and all torn. He is very upset, the sheet was his chewy blanket. Ben descends in his devil costume. He feels quite the part, but Susan kills herself laughing. Susan looks thru the curtains again and it seems to have quietened down. The bell rings, and Roger comes to the door with a gun full of rotten eggs to get the children back. Ben, as the devil, goads him on to get justice. Ben opens the letter box, and Roger squirts the eggs. He has squirted two policemen. They come in covered in egg. They suggest that Ben laughs at their colleagues jokes or they may press charges. Later that same evening, they are sitting on the sofa having a drink, when they hear noises. Ben opens the curtains and sees the skeleton with Bens face hanging there. They then hear noises and footsteps coming from upstairs. A large shadowy figure holding an axe comes down the stairs. It’s the neighbour. He was taking revenge on them because Ben had terrified young Timmy. It was he who put the blood in the Ben’s beer, the skeleton on the sofa and behind the curtain. Ben suggests the police, but Mr Green tells them they won’t get anywhere they are too busy looking for an escaped lunatic. The doorbell goes again, and Ben goes to the door in normal everyday clothes, on the doorstep is one of his patients and her small child, the patient screams at the sight of Ben and pulls the child away." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(5192) "Susan and Abi are scooping out pumpkins at breakfast time. Ben would rather have coffee. He doesn’t want to be in the Halloween spirit. He thinks of it as a scam. Susan tells Ben he must be home by six as that is when the fun starts. Abi can’t help as she is going to a fancy dress party. Michael will be out at the cinema, but he has made Abi a fright mask. It is a picture of Bens face. We see Ben come home, the house is decorated completely for Halloween a house or horrors. Susan is dressed as a witch, and overacting terribly, which Ben refuses to notice. He does not want to join in. She has hired him a costume but he won’t wear it. Susan puts the radio on, it is supposedly a news flash about a dangerous lunatic who has escaped. The doorbell rings, and Ben goes. It is Trick or treaters. They curse the house and then they end up throwing an egg at him. Ben changes and the doorbell goes again. Susan refuses to answer the door because she has to jump out at them to scare them. Mr Green the neighbour is at the door, and leaves young Timmy, a vampire, to visit. Timmy is not impressed with the house, or with Susan’s witch impression. She offers him a sweet and he pulls out a big fake spider, shows him the skeleton in the cupboard, and he is still not frightened. Ben tells Timmy that ghosts don’t exist, and he goes into a long Speech about the fact that there is nothing after death. Timmy cries, and Susan tries to comfort him, she thinks it was the skeleton that frightened him. Ben opens the fridge door and there is a ghoul in it. The door rings again. It is Roger Bailey, dressed as a ghost. Susan and Roger scare each other, This reminds Ben of a Westlife concert, and they go into the kitchen to apple bob. The doorbell rings again, it is trick or treaters. Ben recognises them, and they all throw eggs at him. We see Ben coming down stairs in yet another clean shirt. His Beer has had fake blood put in it, which goes all over his mouth, although he doesn’t realise. Susan and Roger both deny putting the blood in the beer can. The doorbell goes again, and Roger in his ghost costume goes and answers it with all the sweets. Roger has heard about the lunatic on the loose, which has made him a little uneasy. Ben tries to explain it was Susan and he thinks Ben means Susan is the loony. The doorbell goes again, but the kids have eaten the sweets already. Susan and Roger look around for things to give them. Roger finds Family Circle which he starts to read avidly. Susan opens the door, and the kids are carol singing at this point. Someone has put a skeleton on the sofa reading the paper. Ben borrows it from him. Susan offers them an old biro, batteries, and a key to bleed the radiator. She then slams the door in their face. We hear them shouting their complaints through the door. Susan tells Ben she didn’t put the skeleton on the sofa, and nor did Roger. The plot thickens. Roger thinks it may have been the escaped lunatic. The doorbell goes again and Abi dressed as a cheese comes in, in a panic because of all the kids outside. The party was alright, but the doors were a bit narrow for Abi’s costume. We see the kids at the window shouting. Then they notice that the kids have set fire to the garden furniture. Ben rings the police who don’t want to come because they say it’s just kids. They all sit in the living room with the curtains pulled. Susan thinks they’re calming down, Ben opens the curtains to check, and the kids jeer and throw yet another egg which splats on the window. Roger says he will go out and buy them sweets. Dressed in his sheet. Susan says Ben is being childish because he won’t wear his costume. They bicker and Ben talks himself into wearing the costume. Roger comes back in covered in eggs and all torn. He is very upset, the sheet was his chewy blanket. Ben descends in his devil costume. He feels quite the part, but Susan kills herself laughing. Susan looks thru the curtains again and it seems to have quietened down. The bell rings, and Roger comes to the door with a gun full of rotten eggs to get the children back. Ben, as the devil, goads him on to get justice. Ben opens the letter box, and Roger squirts the eggs. He has squirted two policemen. They come in covered in egg. They suggest that Ben laughs at their colleagues jokes or they may press charges. Later that same evening, they are sitting on the sofa having a drink, when they hear noises. Ben opens the curtains and sees the skeleton with Bens face hanging there. They then hear noises and footsteps coming from upstairs. A large shadowy figure holding an axe comes down the stairs. It’s the neighbour. He was taking revenge on them because Ben had terrified young Timmy. It was he who put the blood in the Ben’s beer, the skeleton on the sofa and behind the curtain. Ben suggests the police, but Mr Green tells them they won’t get anywhere they are too busy looking for an escaped lunatic. The doorbell goes again, and Ben goes to the door in normal everyday clothes, on the doorstep is one of his patients and her small child, the patient screams at the sight of Ben and pulls the child away." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2743) "Nick has wrapped the salt cellar, he is learning to be a wrapping Artiste! Ben is off to do Jury duty. He explains that he won’t be able to talk about the case with Susan at all. Susan goes into Michael’s bedroom to put away the washing and finds Michael in bed with a girl. Susan comes out and walks straight into the wall. She has lost her sight with the shock. She explains to Abi it is because Michael’s room was a complete mess, and that she lost her sight once before due to the stress of taking her driving test. When Ben arrives in the Jury room, he tries to be foreman, but Joanna tells him the correct procedure and puts Ben very firmly and quite literally in his place. Back at home, Nick is wrapping everything he can think of and Susan is trying to memorise the lay out of the house so Ben doesn’t notice she has gone blind. Michael’s girlfriend comes down stairs and goes, leaving Susan still talking to her. Michael thinks she is selfish to have gone blind. Back in the jury room they are still introducing themselves. Finally they are ready to vote for the foreman, but Ben wants them all to go to the pub. Abi has put things that smell in various positions all around the room to help Susan disguise her blindness. Susan ends up throwing cheese straws at Ben, he thinks she is drunk. Susan tells Ben she has gone blind again. When they are ready to go to bed, Ben finds the toothbrushes wrapped and the toilet wrapped too. Susan tells Ben about Michael being in bed with a girl, Ben is thrilled! The next morning, Ben is late for Jury service. They have voted Joanna foreman without him. Ben and Joanna do not get on. They disagree over the case and everything else too. Susan comes down ready for work, she has a tour to do, her make-up and clothes are terrible. Abi screams at her to shock her out of her blindness, and Nick tries hypnotism. The jury still can’t agree. Susan returns with Nick who tried to help her with her tour, which was a disaster. Susan asks Abi to leave her and Michael alone. She asks Michael to apologise, but he refuses, he sneaks out while Susan is in the middle of telling him off. Ben starts to read Susan’s book to her, but that doesn’t help. Ben decides a visit to Michael may help. Nick has wrapped the entire landing. Ben goes to talk to Michael and asks him to tell Susan nothing happened between him and Fiona. Michael dejectedly tells Ben that actually nothing did happen anyway. Back in the jury room, Ben has ordered the offending haddock, to prove his point. A fight ensues. Michael tells Susan he is going to wait until his wedding night before he has sex and her sight returns. The final shot is of the entire family wrapped, sitting on the sofa." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2743) "Nick has wrapped the salt cellar, he is learning to be a wrapping Artiste! Ben is off to do Jury duty. He explains that he won’t be able to talk about the case with Susan at all. Susan goes into Michael’s bedroom to put away the washing and finds Michael in bed with a girl. Susan comes out and walks straight into the wall. She has lost her sight with the shock. She explains to Abi it is because Michael’s room was a complete mess, and that she lost her sight once before due to the stress of taking her driving test. When Ben arrives in the Jury room, he tries to be foreman, but Joanna tells him the correct procedure and puts Ben very firmly and quite literally in his place. Back at home, Nick is wrapping everything he can think of and Susan is trying to memorise the lay out of the house so Ben doesn’t notice she has gone blind. Michael’s girlfriend comes down stairs and goes, leaving Susan still talking to her. Michael thinks she is selfish to have gone blind. Back in the jury room they are still introducing themselves. Finally they are ready to vote for the foreman, but Ben wants them all to go to the pub. Abi has put things that smell in various positions all around the room to help Susan disguise her blindness. Susan ends up throwing cheese straws at Ben, he thinks she is drunk. Susan tells Ben she has gone blind again. When they are ready to go to bed, Ben finds the toothbrushes wrapped and the toilet wrapped too. Susan tells Ben about Michael being in bed with a girl, Ben is thrilled! The next morning, Ben is late for Jury service. They have voted Joanna foreman without him. Ben and Joanna do not get on. They disagree over the case and everything else too. Susan comes down ready for work, she has a tour to do, her make-up and clothes are terrible. Abi screams at her to shock her out of her blindness, and Nick tries hypnotism. The jury still can’t agree. Susan returns with Nick who tried to help her with her tour, which was a disaster. Susan asks Abi to leave her and Michael alone. She asks Michael to apologise, but he refuses, he sneaks out while Susan is in the middle of telling him off. Ben starts to read Susan’s book to her, but that doesn’t help. Ben decides a visit to Michael may help. Nick has wrapped the entire landing. Ben goes to talk to Michael and asks him to tell Susan nothing happened between him and Fiona. Michael dejectedly tells Ben that actually nothing did happen anyway. Back in the jury room, Ben has ordered the offending haddock, to prove his point. A fight ensues. Michael tells Susan he is going to wait until his wedding night before he has sex and her sight returns. The final shot is of the entire family wrapped, sitting on the sofa." 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3668) "Ben and Susan are in bed together. Just as they start to canoodle, we reveal they are actually in a bed department store. Titles Susan is knitting for the baby, badly. Ben has arrived late and wants dinner, Siberian Take-away. Susan goes to call Janey for her nightly chat, hears Janey make an ‘ow’ and assumes she is in labour. Susan says they have to go immediately. We see them travelling in the car, Susan is driving like a lunatic much to Ben’s horror. They cannot get through to Janey. Ben suggests Susan drop him off, he is not needed, he says he will be a spare part. We go into flashback and see Susan in hospital for all three births. Ben remembers he was a tower of strength and Susan remembers he was useless. We see Susan pregnant in flashback in the mood to dance, and then we see Ben’s flashback, where he had bought himself a ‘Saturday night fever’ suit, and he wants to go disco. Susan, heavily pregnant, wants to stay in and read. We see Ben and Susan at the disco and Susan goes into labour, Ben thinks she is doing dance moves and noises. Susan is in labour as they travel to the hospital, Ben is still hungry, he reaches for the tic-tac's and gets his medallion stuck in his chest hair. He tries to put on some relaxation music which is completely unsuitable and Susan throws it out of the window. Back in present day, Ben and Susan are still travelling and still can’t reach Janey. Ben thinks they should turn back, then he sees a Little Chef and wants to stop and eat. Susan insists they must hurry, We go back to a flashback of Ben telling Susan to push, we assume he means the baby, but we see Susan pushing the car, as they ran out of petrol. In present day, Ben and Susan run out of petrol, we go to flashback and see Susan arrive at the labour ward, and she gets cold feet. She thinks she may not be pregnant after all, maybe it’s just a very large meal. Ben calms her down and she makes him promise they will only ever have one baby. They discuss their future, and Susan agrees to carry on and have the baby. We next see Susan outside the car filling up with petrol, Ben finally has a sandwich, but as he broke the sandwich machine, he can’t eat the sandwich in case it is full of glass. They still can’t get hold of Janey. Back in flashback, the contractions have stopped. They discuss the babies future, Ben goes off in search of food. In the present day on the journey, Susan finally reaches Janey, tells her they are on the way and Janey hangs up. Ben meets a father of three times over at the food machine, and he tries to persuade Ben to run away. Susan has Ben paged, he runs back in thinking the baby is coming and all Susan wanted was to chose a name. Every name reminds Ben of something, time passes and they still can’t decide. Susan suggests that the first person through the door will be the name of the baby. The obstetricians tells them his nick name and they name the baby Nick. Ben goes out to find food and discovers a trolley with a dead man’s meal on it. The nurse says she doesn’t know wether Mr Clarke had died before or after the meal was touched, Susan has Ben paged again, and as he leaves the nurse tucks in. Susan is in labour, and has thrown her bean bag out of the window. We see Nick as a baby asking Ben for a Fiver. Ben and Susan arrive to help Janey and Susan feels too young to be a grandmother. Janey has had the baby, a boy. Janey is not with the baby she is doing her nails. Ben and Susan meet the baby, and then they are in the launderette, washing their clothes as the baby widdled on them both, they try and chose a name for themselves as grandparents" ["_episode_summary"]=> string(19) "field_57471e34d33f4" ["gallery"]=> string(0) "" ["_gallery"]=> string(19) "field_57471e55d33f5" ["cast_selection"]=> array(3) { [0]=> string(3) "100" [1]=> string(3) "105" [2]=> string(3) "107" } ["_cast_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471e7bd33f6" ["additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(11) "Roger Blake" ["_additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(8) "Bum Face" ["_additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(11) "Jim Barclay" ["_additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(4) "Alex" ["_additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(9) "Jo Martin" ["_additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(12) "1970's Nurse" ["_additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(13) "Georgia Fitch" ["_additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(14) "1970's Midwife" ["_additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(14) "Angela Ridgeon" ["_additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(13) "Nursery Nurse" ["_additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(12) "David Armand" ["_additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(15) "Sales Assistant" ["_additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts"]=> string(1) "6" ["_additional_casts"]=> string(19) "field_57471eefd33f7" ["team_selection"]=> array(5) { [0]=> string(3) "674" [1]=> string(3) "695" [2]=> string(3) "529" [3]=> string(3) "538" [4]=> string(3) "540" } ["_team_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471ffed33fa" ["post_date_gmt"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 20:00:21" ["comment_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["ping_status"]=> string(6) "closed" ["post_password"]=> string(0) "" ["post_name"]=> string(18) "s04e06-deliverance" ["to_ping"]=> string(0) "" ["pinged"]=> string(0) "" ["post_modified"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 20:00:21" ["post_modified_gmt"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 20:00:21" ["post_content_filtered"]=> string(0) "" ["guid"]=> string(53) "http://myfamilyontv.com/?post_type=episode&p=953" ["menu_order"]=> int(0) ["post_mime_type"]=> string(0) "" ["comment_count"]=> string(1) "0" ["filter"]=> string(3) "raw" ["status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["custom"]=> array(41) { ["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488492243:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_13"]=> string(1) "5" ["episode_name"]=> string(16) "06 - Deliverance" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(64) "Janey's baby is due, and Susan wants to visit her in Manchester." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(3668) "Ben and Susan are in bed together. Just as they start to canoodle, we reveal they are actually in a bed department store. Titles Susan is knitting for the baby, badly. Ben has arrived late and wants dinner, Siberian Take-away. Susan goes to call Janey for her nightly chat, hears Janey make an ‘ow’ and assumes she is in labour. Susan says they have to go immediately. We see them travelling in the car, Susan is driving like a lunatic much to Ben’s horror. They cannot get through to Janey. Ben suggests Susan drop him off, he is not needed, he says he will be a spare part. We go into flashback and see Susan in hospital for all three births. Ben remembers he was a tower of strength and Susan remembers he was useless. We see Susan pregnant in flashback in the mood to dance, and then we see Ben’s flashback, where he had bought himself a ‘Saturday night fever’ suit, and he wants to go disco. Susan, heavily pregnant, wants to stay in and read. We see Ben and Susan at the disco and Susan goes into labour, Ben thinks she is doing dance moves and noises. Susan is in labour as they travel to the hospital, Ben is still hungry, he reaches for the tic-tac's and gets his medallion stuck in his chest hair. He tries to put on some relaxation music which is completely unsuitable and Susan throws it out of the window. Back in present day, Ben and Susan are still travelling and still can’t reach Janey. Ben thinks they should turn back, then he sees a Little Chef and wants to stop and eat. Susan insists they must hurry, We go back to a flashback of Ben telling Susan to push, we assume he means the baby, but we see Susan pushing the car, as they ran out of petrol. In present day, Ben and Susan run out of petrol, we go to flashback and see Susan arrive at the labour ward, and she gets cold feet. She thinks she may not be pregnant after all, maybe it’s just a very large meal. Ben calms her down and she makes him promise they will only ever have one baby. They discuss their future, and Susan agrees to carry on and have the baby. We next see Susan outside the car filling up with petrol, Ben finally has a sandwich, but as he broke the sandwich machine, he can’t eat the sandwich in case it is full of glass. They still can’t get hold of Janey. Back in flashback, the contractions have stopped. They discuss the babies future, Ben goes off in search of food. In the present day on the journey, Susan finally reaches Janey, tells her they are on the way and Janey hangs up. Ben meets a father of three times over at the food machine, and he tries to persuade Ben to run away. Susan has Ben paged, he runs back in thinking the baby is coming and all Susan wanted was to chose a name. Every name reminds Ben of something, time passes and they still can’t decide. Susan suggests that the first person through the door will be the name of the baby. The obstetricians tells them his nick name and they name the baby Nick. Ben goes out to find food and discovers a trolley with a dead man’s meal on it. The nurse says she doesn’t know wether Mr Clarke had died before or after the meal was touched, Susan has Ben paged again, and as he leaves the nurse tucks in. Susan is in labour, and has thrown her bean bag out of the window. We see Nick as a baby asking Ben for a Fiver. Ben and Susan arrive to help Janey and Susan feels too young to be a grandmother. Janey has had the baby, a boy. Janey is not with the baby she is doing her nails. Ben and Susan meet the baby, and then they are in the launderette, washing their clothes as the baby widdled on them both, they try and chose a name for themselves as grandparents" ["_episode_summary"]=> string(19) "field_57471e34d33f4" ["gallery"]=> string(0) "" ["_gallery"]=> string(19) "field_57471e55d33f5" ["cast_selection"]=> array(3) { [0]=> string(3) "100" [1]=> string(3) "105" [2]=> string(3) "107" } ["_cast_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471e7bd33f6" ["additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(11) "Roger Blake" ["_additional_casts_0_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(8) "Bum Face" ["_additional_casts_0_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(11) "Jim Barclay" ["_additional_casts_1_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(4) "Alex" ["_additional_casts_1_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(9) "Jo Martin" ["_additional_casts_2_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(12) "1970's Nurse" ["_additional_casts_2_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(13) "Georgia Fitch" ["_additional_casts_3_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(14) "1970's Midwife" ["_additional_casts_3_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(14) "Angela Ridgeon" ["_additional_casts_4_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(13) "Nursery Nurse" ["_additional_casts_4_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(12) "David Armand" ["_additional_casts_5_actor"]=> string(19) "field_57471f95d33f8" ["additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(15) "Sales Assistant" ["_additional_casts_5_character"]=> string(19) "field_57471fefd33f9" ["additional_casts"]=> string(1) "6" ["_additional_casts"]=> string(19) "field_57471eefd33f7" ["team_selection"]=> array(5) { [0]=> string(3) "674" [1]=> string(3) "695" [2]=> string(3) "529" [3]=> string(3) "538" [4]=> string(3) "540" } ["_team_selection"]=> string(19) "field_57471ffed33fa" } } [82]=> object(Timber\Post)#9339 (75) { ["ImageClass"]=> string(12) "Timber\Image" ["PostClass"]=> string(11) "Timber\Post" ["TermClass"]=> string(11) "Timber\Term" ["object_type"]=> string(4) "post" ["_content":protected]=> NULL ["_permalink":protected]=> NULL ["_next":protected]=> array(0) { } ["_prev":protected]=> array(0) { } ["class"]=> string(76) "post-947 episode type-episode status-publish hentry series_category-series-4" ["id"]=> int(947) ["ID"]=> int(947) ["post_author"]=> string(1) "2" ["post_content"]=> string(0) "" ["post_date"]=> string(19) "2017-03-01 19:56:36" ["post_excerpt"]=> string(0) "" ["post_parent"]=> int(0) ["post_status"]=> string(7) "publish" ["post_title"]=> string(22) "S04E05 - Owed To Susan" ["post_type"]=> string(7) "episode" ["slug"]=> string(20) "s04e05-owed-to-susan" ["__type":protected]=> NULL ["_edit_lock"]=> string(12) "1488492242:2" ["_edit_last"]=> string(1) "2" ["_tax_order_13"]=> string(1) "4" ["episode_name"]=> string(18) "05 - Owed To Susan" ["_episode_name"]=> string(19) "field_57471ca5d33f2" ["episode_intro"]=> string(88) "Domestic sitcom. Susan finds out the love poem Ben wrote to woo her was not an original." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2933) "Roger arrives bearing Kiwi, and is promptly offered bacon for breakfast, which Ben would have liked. Susan explains he is interested in Abi. Abi has to race off to work and Susan tells Roger she knows he is interested in someone and he gets the wrong impression and thinks Susan means her! She tells Roger how to make a play for Abi. She tells him how Ben had written this wonderful poem when they were courting and she recites it. As Susan nears the end Roger starts to recite the poem. Ben hadn’t written it at all. Susan is very unhappy. Nick has decided to dedicate his body to science, and he is testing tablets which may cause memory loss. Ben is concerned until he realises Nick may forget where he lives. In bed later that night Susan explains that she is terribly hurt about the poem, and that their entire marriage is based on a lie. Ben says it is based on many lies. She asks for a new poem, from Ben, and tells him they won’t make love until she sees it. We see Ben in the surgery trying to compose a poem, without much success. He is blaming Roger for starting all this, and suggests Roger writes the poem for him. Roger refuses. Nick has forgotten who Michael is because of taking the tablets. Michael asks him to repay the money he owes him. Nick pays him, he waits another 20 seconds and asks him again, Nick pays him again. Ben enters and Michael tells Nick he is the television repair man. Ben confesses to Susan he can’t write the poem, but he has really tried. Susan is dressed in a negligee, she is dressed to tempt him but won’t let Ben near her. Nick enters and still thinks Ben is the TV repair man. The following morning, Nick is taking polaroid's of everyone, to remind himself of who everyone is and he is also writing important messages on his body so he doesn’t forget things. Abi suggests he attend the poetry class with her. Later that evening he is at the poetry class, and keeps interrupting everyone’s poems. Finally it is the turn of the crazy lady at the back to say her poem, she simply screams and falls on the floor! Ben likes that one! Susan makes Michael carry the exercise bike up to the bedroom. She needs a release. Ben is still trying to write the poem in the surgery, when the crazy lady at the back from the poetry class turns up unannounced to seduce Ben. Roger enters while she is stripping! He rushes out leaving Ben to somehow ask the lunatic to get dressed and leave! Roger and Susan have been jogging together. When the phone rings, and it is the crazy lady, saying she wants her husband, Susan thinks it is the wrong number and hangs up. She rings again, and Nick answers it. Finally Ben returns with the poem written and wants to read it to Susan. Susan just wants sex. Ben insists he reads it all after all the effort he has put in to it. We see Nick in bed with Vanessa! We cut back to see Ben still reading the poem and Susan on the bike again!" 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Susan finds out the love poem Ben wrote to woo her was not an original." ["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(2933) "Roger arrives bearing Kiwi, and is promptly offered bacon for breakfast, which Ben would have liked. Susan explains he is interested in Abi. Abi has to race off to work and Susan tells Roger she knows he is interested in someone and he gets the wrong impression and thinks Susan means her! She tells Roger how to make a play for Abi. She tells him how Ben had written this wonderful poem when they were courting and she recites it. As Susan nears the end Roger starts to recite the poem. Ben hadn’t written it at all. Susan is very unhappy. Nick has decided to dedicate his body to science, and he is testing tablets which may cause memory loss. Ben is concerned until he realises Nick may forget where he lives. In bed later that night Susan explains that she is terribly hurt about the poem, and that their entire marriage is based on a lie. Ben says it is based on many lies. She asks for a new poem, from Ben, and tells him they won’t make love until she sees it. We see Ben in the surgery trying to compose a poem, without much success. He is blaming Roger for starting all this, and suggests Roger writes the poem for him. Roger refuses. Nick has forgotten who Michael is because of taking the tablets. Michael asks him to repay the money he owes him. Nick pays him, he waits another 20 seconds and asks him again, Nick pays him again. Ben enters and Michael tells Nick he is the television repair man. Ben confesses to Susan he can’t write the poem, but he has really tried. Susan is dressed in a negligee, she is dressed to tempt him but won’t let Ben near her. Nick enters and still thinks Ben is the TV repair man. The following morning, Nick is taking polaroid's of everyone, to remind himself of who everyone is and he is also writing important messages on his body so he doesn’t forget things. Abi suggests he attend the poetry class with her. Later that evening he is at the poetry class, and keeps interrupting everyone’s poems. Finally it is the turn of the crazy lady at the back to say her poem, she simply screams and falls on the floor! Ben likes that one! Susan makes Michael carry the exercise bike up to the bedroom. She needs a release. Ben is still trying to write the poem in the surgery, when the crazy lady at the back from the poetry class turns up unannounced to seduce Ben. Roger enters while she is stripping! He rushes out leaving Ben to somehow ask the lunatic to get dressed and leave! Roger and Susan have been jogging together. When the phone rings, and it is the crazy lady, saying she wants her husband, Susan thinks it is the wrong number and hangs up. 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["_episode_intro"]=> string(19) "field_57471dc7d33f3" ["episode_summary"]=> string(4082) "Susan is telling Ben about future dates for his diary, and starts to suggest things for them to do that day. Ben is happy on the sofa with the tv. Ben suggests maybe going to bed together and Susan wants to convert Nicks room into a nursery. Susan’s mother rings to tell them there is an obituary in the paper, and Ben has been pronounced dead. Ben quite likes the idea, and says if he is dead he is not able to go anywhere or do anything. He now has the perfect excuse to do nothing. Michael is trying to write a funeral speech for Ben when Nick comes in with a supermarket trolley to do his ‘shopping’. Michael tells Nick that Ben is dead. Nick thinks he is now Lord of the Manor and that Michael must leave school and get a job to bring in extra money. Ben comes into the kitchen and Nick gives him an enormous hug and tells him he is obviously not dead. Nick exits to continue his shopping in the ‘chemists’ upstairs! Susan is cleaning Nicks bedroom, with Abi, who discovers an old pizza at the bottom of the wardrobe, which she promptly eats. Nick arrives and is thrilled with the farmyard mobile and the stuffed giraffe. He doesn’t realise Susan is doing it for the baby. Ben comes in and is so desperate that Nick doesn’t move back in, he agrees to do up the nursery. Nick leaves upset. Later Nick enters through the back door with a small case, Abi who doesn’t see him sings and dances to herself, Get this Party Started. She jumps with fright when she sees him, and Nick tells her of his plan to move back in. Meanwhile, upstairs Ben is building the cot from Spanish instructions. Nick, is hiding in the upturned cot box, and he pinches the spanner. Ben looks everywhere, finally he has to leave to find another one. Michael shows Abi Ben’s eulogy. He has embellished it somewhat. The doorbell rings, it is Mr Gleeson, from next door. He has brought for roses for Susan because Ben is dead. Susan doesn’t quite manage to tell him in so many words that Ben is not actually dead. He offers to do anything around the house or garden for her, and ends up asking her out for dinner after the funeral. Ben comes back into the nursery having found another spanner and finds the cot is completely dismantled. He goes downstairs and tells everyone he has put the cot up and now it is unput!! Ben is furious that Mr Gleeson has bought flowers, and threatens to give him a piece of his mind, Susan explains that he is just outside doing the lawn and Ben thinks maybe he’ll wait for a minute or two. Ben puts the final touches to the bedroom, he has papered it all and put up the cot. We see Nick come out of the wardrobe and start peeling off the paper. Susan is in bed eating chocolates from yet another delighted male neighbour. Mr Murdoch from two streets away. Ben takes Susan to show her the nursery that he is so proud of, but when they get there is it no longer decorated and the cot is back in pieces. Ben thinks maybe he is dead after all. Michael goes to lie on his bed and there are groans from underneath. It is Nick who has moved back in under his bed. Abi sneaks him some food, but she has eaten it all on the way up. She leaves saying she will sneak him some pudding later! Back at the surgery Roger has moved in and decorated it out for children. He is just using a glove puppet dentist called Dennis when Ben comes in and throws him out, telling him he is very much alive. Susan has now decorated the babies room and when she leaves it, Nick starts stripping the walls again. She comes in and catches him. Nick begs her to say she can come home and she gives in and says she will persuade Ben to agree